“Mutantism on the March”: Chapter 82 “Anti-American Sentiment Manipulated and Actual Engulfs Quebec”

Jiber’s agitators fully capitalized on the anti-American sentiment they worked hard to create. This missile plant was manna from heaven. For Jiber it was hate that was the basis for social change thus it was crucial his crew do everything in their power to stir up anti-American hatred. So far they had done well even helping to form Militant Quebec Mothers Against American Imperialism. Other groups marched to the Quebec Vermont border crossings and taunted American customs authorities. Families of American executives of businesses in Quebec were harassed. However attempts to bomb American factories and offices in Quebec were not successful but Jiber thought the attacks would soon start.

The issue of the missile base flooded the international media the prevalent attitude from the capitalist media was not criticism of the American and Canadian politicians for jointly agreed plans to construct a “secret” missile base but rather for deceiving their populations. The American mutant movement suffered great embarrassment and Romania offered them political asylum. Jean Droolpoop the mayor of Montreal the pie face liar was suspiciously silent. Prime Minister Pester Mommyboy of Canada threatened to send troops to Quebec to quieten the agitators.

Blarney Duncehead, the Canadian Minister of Defence issued a brief and quietly hysterical statement that read, “The continent of North America is rich with resources that communist enemies of freedom would dearly like to commandeer. Canada is directly threatened by the communist uprising in Vietnam. Only yesterday two North Vietnam submarines were spotted in the Gulf of St. Lawrence near Quebec City. Canada is highly vulnerable to attack by Uncle Ho’s terrorists because our armed forces are too sparse and would not withstand a North Vietnamese attack so our most trusted ally and friend, the United States of America has offered at no cost to Canadians to construct a sophisticated defensive nuclear missile base in Montreal. We should relish this gift with open arms and warmly thank the concern our dear neighbours have shown. Why some Quebec agitators have threatened this glorious endeavour is beyond me and most likely fueled by too much Pepsi and too many Mae Wests and Michigan Red Hots. A few discontents should not be permitted to disturb the security of our Canada. I plead with Quebeckers not to fall prey to the whims of communist agitators. Let Canada remain free and united against those who threaten to impose tyranny and injustice.”

The American government was refusing any public comment whilst their bureaucrats were busy planning some sort of exit strategy, They ignored the din of annexationists who were clamouring for the U.S. Marines to invade “to protect the liberty of American property and the American way of life”. Fortunately calmer heads prevailed in Washington believing that an attempt to annex Canada while a war was being fought in Vietnam was poor timing. The American public was becoming increasingly critical of the Vietnam War and another conflict would not go over well. CIA intelligence units had concluded that the Canadian Army would not defend against any American invasion but that Quebec units within it were prepared to wage a guerilla war against the American troops. Quietly the Americans cancelled their plans for this missile base and the inept Canadian government was left blushing with a wad of soiled paper in their hands.

The American State Department placed a series of statements for insertion into Canadian newspapers,

“Dear Canadians and Quebeckers

We regret the inconvenience caused you by the proposed construction of a nuclear missile base in Montreal. We had the understanding your Canadian government had agreed to the plan and secured your approval. That this is not the case this is not an American problem. We apologize for any misunderstanding and let this not hamper our wonderful relationship with you. The American government will not be involved with any construction of a missile base in Montreal.”