RKS Wine: The Penniless Pensioner Low Life Wine Fraud and Wild Tuscan Boar Stew

PP phoned me up the other day in an excited mood. Looks like he has a new girlfriend Celine Serpent a wealthy widower living in Rosedale. You might want to say she invested a paltry $200,000 with Bernie Madoff and being on the upper end of the Ponzi scheme she doubled her money. He said if she gave him her entire fortune to invest she would be wealthy beyond all expectations. She disliked his cologne so she balked. Well some of her French aristocratic friends were fleeced.

PP extricated himself from Madoff criminal proceedings nearly bankrupting himself with all the fancy New York attorney fees. So once living in a swank penthouse, “The Lonsdale”, he is now living in humbler quarters figuring out the best way of tapping into his Panamanian bank accounts so he can regain his former lifestyle.

Celine has invited him (and his pajamas and toothbrush) to her Rosedale mansion for an Italian themed dinner including his favourite Wild Tuscan Boar Stew and Gnocchi with mushrooms. Although PP still has some of his handmade Harry Rosen suits and shoes his wine cellar was sold off. But he has an empty bottle of a Super Tuscan wine Sassicaia he can fill up and recork with some passable Tuscan juice thinking guests will be so tipsy from the Franciacorta bubbly they will be downing they won’t know the difference. He mentioned he bought a Tuscan Monte Antico on sale at the LCBO for $13.95 and would that be passable especially since his favourite wine critic James Suckling gave it a 90? Am I a compliance guy at a high-flying boiler-room securities dealer? Sometimes I feel I am being used!

As for aroma this wine has a bucketload of cheerful cherry a classic marker for Tuscan Sangiovese. Ample black cherry, blackberry and you can add that up and say it’s a pretty classy wine. Impressive palate with a solid core of sweet cherry and blackberry. Short finish. Smooth and impressive but it is too cheerful and sassy to be a brooding Sassicaia but get a room of COVID liberated individuals on a patio partying like its 1967 PP could be following in Rudy Kurniwan’s footsteps and pull it off. Naughty PP! I warn PP Celine could have some of her ruined French friends at the party and perhaps they plan to poison him although all criminal charges against him in the Madoff swindle were dropped. He hung up on me.

A good match for most tomato based Italian pasta sauces. If you believe in the stability and boredom of a “house wine concept” this might be for you.

PP phoned me a couple of days after the Rosedale party delighted he “pulled it off” and Celine had asked him to marry her! Could I be the wine advisor for their engagement party? I advised him his freebies had come to an end and he laughed saying it looked as if the Panamanian funds were going to rolling in. Finally some money will be rolling my way. My fee will be $25,000 for the engagement party. A cheque payable to RKS Wine Consulting was just couriered to me and signed by Ms. Serpent.

Monte Antico is 85% Sangiovese, 10% Cabernet Sauvignon and 5% Merlot.

(Monte Antico Toscana IGT 2016, C. Santa Lucia, Pontedera, Italy, $ 13.95, Liquor Control Board of Ontario # 69377, 750 mL, 13%, Robert K. Stephen A Little Birdie Told Me So Rating 91/100).

Published by Robert K Stephen (CSW)

Robert K Stephen writes about food and drink, travel, and lifestyle issues. He is one of the few non-national writers to be certified as a wine specialist by the Society of Wine Educators, in Washington, DC. Robert was the first associate member of the Wine Writers’ Circle of Canada. He also holds a Mindfulness Certification from the University of Leiden and the University of Toronto. Be it Spanish cured meat, dried fruit, BBQ, or recycled bamboo place mats, Robert endeavours to escape the mundane, which is why he has established this publication. His motto is, "Have Story, Will Write."

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