All us dogs, Bob and Fay are eagerly anticipating Drake’s big barbeque at his Park Lane home in the Bridle Path in a very exclusive part of Toronto. How kind of Drake to invite us. What are neighbors for! Unfortunately, this is the neighborhood where the Sherman’s were murdered! Honey and Barry Sherman pharma billionaires that must have made enemies.
Bob had downloaded a passle of Drake’s songs and really none of us dogs and Bob can stand his music with its nasal whining that gives sensitive dogs with precision hearing a headache! Fay thinks Drake is the best. Hey but dogs getting invited to a BBQ means MEAT POSSIBILITIES!
Not to boast but because of the Disney Film “Reggie The Egyptian Rescue Dog” all of us are celebrities except Bosco but being a part of the family (hopefully temporarily) so he is invited.
So we gussy up, casually of course, with Bob and Fay in Armani and Boss and us pooches just bathed by Bob and smelling pretty. Even stinky Bosco smells half decent with fancy doggie eau de cologne! Dr. Murray said no baths for Bosco for two weeks so his leg can fully heal.
We walk to our next-door neighbour passing through Drake’s security detail. Bob parts with his Glock but with such heavy security we all feel safe. Bosco as a new temporary addition to the family really has no inclination about our fame. As a precaution we have Kit Kat at the door with Drake’s security team from Shark Security. Man, those guys are at least 300 pounds each!
Drake greets us and I was expecting to see some man with heavy gold chains, sunglasses, floppy clothes surrounded by voluptuous women with big butts like in his music videos. But he is attired in jeans and a flashy jacket. He is a shy guy. He picks me and Dillie up like he is specially greeting animal stars. He asks his posse to give each of us 24 karat gold water bowls. They are filled with my favourite Evian water. We are the only dogs here! Drake introduces us while he is holding us to so and so. Some are musicians, artists and actors. Some are huge basketball players. I can’t say I like Drake’s music but as a human he is gracious, respectful, and humble. What a good egg of a neighbour.
And my goodness there is a classical music trio from Toronto Consort playing some medieval music from a man called Monteverdi! This Drake plays tough but he is ultra cool. He is serving all sorts of drinks including a favourite of his which is frozen honeydew melon, mint, lime juice, Evian water and Ouzo. The guests loved this odd cocktail so much the Ouzo ran out so they are drinking some Champagne in a golden coloured bottle. “Kristal”?
Gordon Lightfoot is at the festivities as well and he takes a liking to Bosco. Perhaps if he knew how Bosco stinks he might not be so friendly! Bosco seems to have found a long-lost friend in Gordon Lightfoot. They are getting along like fire and smoke!
In this boisterous environment there are only happy people. Many are black and I have not seen many of these types of humans but they are so friendly so who cares about their skin colour. Dogs don’t discriminate.
There are a few lambs and pigs roasting over a spit and dinner is announced. There are huge mounds of meat, polenta, salad, grits with shrimp and loads of other food. Guests are given a Limoges China plate and they hit the buffet. There are great wines from Campania in Italy and the Okanagan in British Columbia. Drake proudly pours some Meyer Family Vineyards Chardonnay and Pinot Noir much better than those Reggie and The Tramp TCM wines.
Drake asks Bob if it is OK if we canines can have some meat. YES!!!!! We can. Just a bit of pork and lamb with some grits and shrimp. Kick me. Am I in paradise?
We gobble up this very special tasting meat and almost stagger over to Gordon Lightfoot and crash out with exhaustion and a full belly at his feet. Man, this Drake knows how to throw a party.
We are prodded awake by Bob who says it is time to go home just down the street. Before we go Drake says he would like to take us to a basketball game of a team called the Toronto Raptors where we will be guests of honour on national television!
Drake has Bob’s Glock returned to him and has his security detail walk us home. Gordon Lightfoot asks us if he can have Bosco overnight and Bob and Fay agree. What’s up?
Despite the fact I do not like Drake’s music he is a good soul and is our friend now. Bob and Fay have asked him over for dinner next week.
We are home as the sun rises and we crash out with our 24 karat gold water bowls Drake has given us! What a night. I am too tired to say my nighttime prayers. But before I nod off I think I see Anwar smiling at me and saying “Bravo Reggie!”
But before we drift off we hear Penny’s frantic if not bloodcurdling bark over our sound system. Mr. Antonio is running into the house shouting “LOCKDOWN”! Something very awful must be happening. As we head to the safe room we hear two explosions outside many windows in the house are blown out.
The bang bang of Mr. Antonio’s Dirty Harry Edition 357 Magnum is heard and Kit Kat sounds like he in attack mode. Screams are heard.
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