My first liberation was facilitated by a Toronto canine rescue organization Snookie’s Rescue Society rescuing me from the bad streets of Cairo into the happier and more loving streets of Hog Town which I know now is the nickname for Toronto. As a dog I love pea meal bacon a real St. Lawrence Market specialty! Meat for a dog what can I say! LOVE IT!
I wake up in a cage in a dark room that stinks of vodka, cigarettes, and dirt. Living with Fay, Bob and Dillie the smell of dirt is something I can only recall from Cairo. But the dirt in this room smells like evil dirt. The men are speaking a language I do not understand but it is not Arabic. They tell me in broken English I am dirty dog but I am worth millions to them. They kick my cage and spit at me and that does not frighten me. If I could escape my cage and attack them, they WOULD BE FRIGHTENED OF ME! Never mess with an Egyptian street dog! NEVER EVER!
They have a pile of guns and grenades on a table and a bank of computers. I hear them speaking to each other in broken English about a “ransom note”. It means they will return me upon receipt of $50,000,000 deposited into a Panamanian secret bank account. If the funds are not deposited as directed in 48 hours my head will be sent to Bob and Fay. These swine snicker they’ll kill me anyways.
I am hungry and thirsty and they feed me leftover takeout food of hamburgers and fries. They give me water in a dirty bowl. I must go pee and they never take me out so I can do my business. What a bunch of low life scoundrels I say as I try and aim my pee out the cage door. These low lives are soaked with vodka and greed so they will not smell my urine.
Fay receives the ransom note and a team of Royal Canadian Mounted Police and the FBI operative President Biden has sent carefully read it. With the help of the Mossad (The Israeli Secret Police) and the Central Intelligence Agency in Washington the location of the kidnapper’s computers is revealed supposedly protected by a Russian anti-detection programme that the Mossad had cracked two weeks ago. The computers are traced to a Russian Gun Club building on a street called Murray Ross in North Toronto. Little did these Bulgarian criminals know they were going to get their rear ends kicked in.
Fay responds to the ransom note saying it will take her a bit more than 48 hours to raise the $50,000,000 ransom.
The FBI, CIA, RCMP and Mossad would dearly like to get these Bulgarian thugs in custody. They have been blackmailing, extorting, kidnapping and money laundering globally. They want these criminals in jails very badly as they have ruined lives and done so many illegal things. The American, Canadian and Israelis will be assembling an attack force of commandos that “simply can’t fail”.
Their leader Igor cracks open yet another bottle of vodka and his gang drink it like it is water. They fall asleep in a drunken stupor confident the money will be in their bank account very soon.
In the early morning the door to the Russian Gun Club is battered down and the sleeping and half-drunk Bulgarians are captured without a shot fired. A RCMP officer opens the door to my cage saying, “Reggie you are free”. I am liberated again and before I go I sink my teeth very deep into Igor’s ankle and he screams and says words in Bulgarian that are unprintable! I am picked up and taken to Fay who sits in an armoured car outside. I am smothered in hugs by Fay. Dr. Murray my animal doctor is there and says after a physical examination I am a bit dehydrated but otherwise “Fit as a fiddle”. I need to poop real bad!
We go home. Rapper Drake had opened his private gym to all the attack force’s representatives to establish a command centre. As Fay and I enter the command centre there are cheers. Mr. Gordon Lightfoot and Bosco are there. Drake orders a middle eastern feast from Paramount restaurants via Skip the Dishes and the teams converge for a celebratory dinner and then depart.
I hear that Igor, the naughty Bulgarian, required twenty stitches to close the gash from my bite. Didn’t I tell you NEVER MESS WITH EGYPTIAN STREET DOGS! I hear that Bob will be coming home from hospital soon but Dillie the Westie is still battling for his life. We will go and visit him tomorrow after we visit Bob. I have a bath to clean the stench of captivity off me and have a restful repose.
We visit Bob at the human hospital and he gives me a big hug and I give him a few kisses and nibble his ear at the same time which means he remains the leader of our pack! Our next visit is to the brave Dillie the Westie who was injured badly with a cracked skull and is fighting for his life. As far as I am concerned, I will use the last trick in my book. It is the “custom growl” Karim, Dillie and I used when we were the Rat Pack before Karim went to The Land Beyond. I approach Dillie The Westie, the brave Scottish warrior dog and put my face close to his ear and give him the Rat Pack growl. Nothing happens. I close my eyes and pray to Allah for a miracle. I growl again and Dillie opens his eyes and gives a weak moan! He is out of a coma! THANK YOU, ALLAH! The animal doctors can’t understand what happened but I know that a power greater than any dog or man has lent us a helping hand. Call him Allah, God or Buddha if you wish but whatever this power is it this there if you honour it and express gratitude for its results.
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