Our limousines pull up in front of the Chinese Theatre. Cameras are wildly clicking. The paparazzi are busy this afternoon. Nicole and Mr. Urban are the honey and the press the flies. But as soon as we pull up behind Nicole and Mr. Urban we wait 60 seconds so as not to dull our buzz when we hop out of the limo. And when they see Reggie and Dylan the Westie there is a mad rush. You can imagine dogs on the red carpet are not common. Bob and Fay are ignored with a few reporters thinking they are dog handlers! The cameras move in and various network reps are shouting out questions. They need their questions answered about the Hamilton Tiger Cats jersey both Dylan the Westie and I are wearing. My Presidential Medal of Freedom is causing a stir. A scantily clad redhaired beauty escorts us to the photo board. Dylan the Westie and I ham it up with different poses. Nicole Kidman is getting the most attention and she deserves it. Go Nicole Go!
Then Moira Saganski and Martin Malivoire pull up with our pal Penny and there is a rush towards them but special effects guys are not juicy print so the rush focuses on the next limo arriving. So he has a few reporters approach him but of lesser import than the rest of Team Reggie. I see two reporters from Movie Tekkie Monthly and Popular Mechanics grilling the poor man about obscure SFX “technical stuff”. Eugene Levy senses his distress and pulls Martin to safety!
Mr. Gordon Lightfoot is next arriving in a vintage East German Trabant causing a sensation. It is the cheapest car here! What a sense of humour that man has. What are Mr. Gordon Lightfoot and Taylor Swift discussing. It looks important.
Russell Crowe follows.
Team Reggie is all here!
Martin Malivoire is no stranger to award shows but the calmness is rapidly dissipating. The man has a bad case of the jitters. Adding to the pressure he says Hamilton’s Tim Horton Field, home of the Hamilton Tiger Cats, has 17,000 people watching the Academy Awards. They are so proud of me and Dylan the Westie wearing our Tiger Cats jersey and that Malivoire from Beamsville is in the hunt for an award as after all Beamsville borders on Hamilton. There are two live bands and a massive tailgate party. While Martin Malivoire is chatting with us Eugene Levy sidles up and starts resuming his talk with Malivoire about special effects and the film “Ghostbusters”. Martin Malivoire is delighted and they start talking about a new Eugene Levy film requiring special effects. Moira Saganski has her eyes laser focused on Caroline Katz a star of some Brit television show “Doc Martin”. Dazzled by Saganski’s Dior’s flowing emerald gown they are now best friends. How funny ladies can be! Haute couture and instant friendship!
Dylan the Westie and I meet many of the celebrities. Many have a far away and vacant look in their faces and have little of interest to say. Speaking of “looks” why is the host Larry David avoiding me. I thought we were buddies after meeting at my ABC screen test in New York but he has a hostile smell emanating from him and you know how accurate a dog’s sense of smell is. He is giving me the “Larry David squint and stare”. I have sinking feeling in my stomach telling me matters are not “pretty, pretty good”.
Bob takes us for a walk just before the televised event begins and we are surrounded by eager fans outside the venue wishing us the best.
Before entering the awards venue, a very red-faced delegation from the Academy of Motion Pictures and Sciences pulls Bob, Dylan the Westie and myself aside. We were told of some horrible news. Why is Larry David now smiling at us? It is a mocking smile.
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