Over the years this COSTCO shopper has noticed the “style” of other COSTCO shoppers. Bear in mind depending on the circumstances such as the time available to that shopper a style can change or at any given time there can be a COSTCO shopper that is of a hybrid category i.e. a “Mixie”.
The Speedy Gonzalez
This shopper is out for business. A serious look on their faces carting at high speeds, careful not to nip anyone’s ankles with their carts, they whiz through the aisles, quietly cursing the Browsers for impeding their progress. They can be browsers but, on the fly, rarely stopping except for a closer look and possibly a purchase. They possess a razor-sharp focus and believe it or not rarely stop for samples. Their goal is to be in and out in 18 minutes. Large line ups at the cash drive them batty.
The Know Exactly What They Want
This COSTCO shopper often can be seen with a list. And even with a marker to tick off purchases. They are fast but not speed obsessed like the Speedy Gonzales type. There is no time for browsing and only if the samples are completely to their liking will they stop and munch.
The Ambler a.k.a. The Browser
No rush with this category of COSTCO shopper. Shopping is to be savoured somewhat like a social event. They may receive grimaces from the Speedy Gonzales types fuming how slow and with an apparent lack of purpose they trundle about.
The Comparative Shopper
Often seen on their cell comparing prices with other retail outlets or more discretely taking a picture of the item and price and doing the comparison at home.
The Sample Hogs
They enjoy nothing more than free food however micro the sample is. They pounce on samples the rude ones butting the line grabbing multiple samples “for my family” and are known to make frequent repeat visits particularly with the pierogies and are in heaven when there are three different perogies to try so they can grab three and circle back four times and that’s a lunch. Forget the $1.50 hot dog and pop.
The Bored Spouse
A terrible situation where one spouse is the rapid type of COSTCO shopper and the other an Ambler. The rapid type can be seen grimacing by the cash lamenting the fact a no line situation can quickly transform into a huge line causing massive anxiety and stress. Unfortunately, the suffering spouse can’t drop into the pharmacy department for a free Xanax sample because in their wisdom COSTCO offers no such samples.
The Blockers
These rude COSTCO shoppers block aisles and in the most heinous fashion leave carts blocking ready access to samples. They may receive snarky comments from polite shoppers but rudeness is natural to these space hogs and in one ear and out the other.
The Shopping Cart Abandoners
These fine specimens lazy to the bones just leave their cart anywhere in the parking lot they wish often dangerously close to parked cars. To their rudeness add on selfishness.
The One Item at a Time Loader
Particularly irksome when parking spots are rare these COSTCO shoppers take items out of their cart one by one to place in their car instead of bagging in the cash and taking that bag to place in their automobile.
COSTCO represents the mass of humanity so when you go through the pearly gates of COSTCO anything is possible.
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