Toronto: 4December2024: Spoof Wire Services
Canada’s greediest and most detested air carrier announced yet another extra fee payable by all passengers except for those in its Big Wig Class which will kick in beginning 1January2025.
All non-Big Wig Class passengers will be required to pay a $10 “Privilege Fee” to access all WC’s onboard. For an extra fee passengers will be required to purchase “comfort tokens” which must be used to gain access to WC’s in the passenger cabin.
In addition to the WC “Privilege Fee” and the extra fee to purchase “comfort tokens” bowel movements will be subject to extra fees based on the gram weight of the feces involved. Toilet paper will also be subject to a usage fee based on centimeters used.
Trans Canada Air “proudly stands by these new fees” stating they give passengers choices “they rightly deserve” and are in line with industry standards. Trans Canada Air will offer portable “Widdle Bags” for passengers “negligent enough” not to “take care of business” before boarding the airplane. Those passengers suffering from some form of urinary incompetence “are strongly advised” to dehydrate themselves, wear diapers or utilize a catheter.
Trans Canada Air was voted for the sixth successive year by “Squat and Go Measurements” as having the vilest bathrooms of any major air carrier.
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