The Penniless Pensioner: Misaligned, Maligned but Marvellous (The Final Version): Chapter 22: My Stint in New York Begins with a John Lennon Friendship

I arrived at New York’s Port Authority somewhat bleary eyed from my 10-hour overnight bus trip from Montreal. US immigration at the New York State border crossing had, due to “immigration falsehoods”, hauled off some twenty of the Amish on the bus returning them to Canada causing a two-hour delay.

That cherry pie at the Saratoga Springs rest stop was almost worth the delay!

I proceeded to the United Mutations headquarters near the corner of 43^rd and Third Avenue more or less adjacent to the United Nations where I met United Mutations representative Melanie Stumps. Stumps was kind enough to arrange for my lodging at the International Hostel for Mutants way up in the 90’s in Harlem. Stumps advised me I had two weeks to find alternative lodgings before I started my United Mutation’s assignment. I would have preferred the Ritz-Carlton Central Park South but wanting initially to appear as “part of the team” I took the bus up to Harlem. After roughing it up at the cockroach infested hostel I purchased a two-bedroom condo in a charming Gothic building called “The Dakota” very close to Central Park. I was having difficulty with my keys entering my condo after the purchase deal closed and a long-haired fellow with glasses, who lived down the hall, helped me. Being a neighbourly fellow, he invited the newest Dakota resident for high tea at his “pad”.

What a jolly fellow with a British accent. I felt like I was back home in Bombay at the British Officer’s Club. Upon entering his unit he introduced me to his “old lady” Yoko Ono. Mr. Lennon’s full name was John Lennon. It had a familiar ring to it. Geez I knew that name from somewhere. We had a lovely pot of tea and some pot brownies, after all it was high tea, and chatted for an hour or so.

I asked Mr. Lennon about the many guitars throughout his rooms in his “pad” and John explained he was a musician. I explained I was half Welsh and half Indian. My late mom was Juanita Wallabong a well-known singer of Bombay Blues and my dad was Paneer Gupta an entrepreneur. Well to my surprise Mr. Lennon was a fan of my mom and had met my father several times! How could that be! Well Mr. Lennon was John Lennon of that British group “The Beatles”! Damn it I knew that band. He told me he had just recorded one of my mom’s unrecorded songs “Give Peace a Chance”! And when the Beatles were in India my dad had supplied them with lots of ganja! What a small world! Did it ever bowl me over hearing John saying that my mom, Juanita Wallabong, was the Lucy in the Beatle’s song “Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds”. John had said had he not been married….

Yoko Ono sat by herself in the corner of the living room writing poetry and kept stuttering to herself like she was mouthing lyrics of a bizarre song. Mr. Lennon insisted I call him John. John invited me to take a long walk with him in Central Park the following day.