2February2025: Spoof News Services: Toronto
Thousands of Americans are flooding to the Canadian border waving state flags and chanting, “Gotta get out now or we’ll be a POW!” Unlike Central American caravans that have lately been repelled by tear gas and machine gun bullets at the United States- Mexican border by patriots Canadians have met the crowds of frightened migrants with warm pancake breakfasts with Quebec maple syrup for morning arrivals, peameal bacon sandwiches for afternoon arrivals and poutine or Le Gros Jean baked beans and freshly pressed apple juice for evening arrivals.
Canadian Minister for Foreign Affairs Mabel Jolly was seen at the Vermont/Quebec border crossing welcoming Americans with French dictionaries, health cards for provincial medical care and discounted passes for VIA Rail travel throughout Canada. Special welcome booths were established at border crossings offering jobs to American doctors and nurses to address the ravages of a Canadian healthcare system. High net worth migrants were welcome to VIP tents provided their suitcases and trunks contained a minimum $5 million USD and provided signed agreements of purchase and sale for homes and condominiums were produced before admission to the VIP tents.
Minister Jolly noted the migrants may be just that or they may be refugees fearing persecution. Jolly stated, “We have seen a great many former FBI agents, air traffic controllers, DOJ lawyers involved in the 6January coup attempt investigation, the investigation of certain “politicos” and anyone employed in a DEI capacity or who were hired under DEI principles. We have previously accepted 40,000 Syrian refugees so what difference do a few thousand Americans make.”
The White House press secretary (Jacob Chansley) at the latest briefing in Washington expressed concern with the Canadian government’s attitude and position facilitating the escape of “anti governmental” elements and promised the immediate establishment of a White House Information Line where patriots could advise of those who do not believe in the Golden Age of America in order that they can be re-educated.
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