The Penniless Pensioner Returns! Can He Save Canada?

Chapter One: What to Do Next

In the published recounting of my life described in “The Penniless Pensioner: Misunderstood, Maligned but Marvellous” we certainly had a ride bordering on the fantastic.

We started with my childhood in Bombay with an introduction to my Welsh mother Juanita Wallenberg the almost massively famous blues singer and my father a successful supplier of hashish to the holy men of India and later a gold mine operator. I explained the origins of my name as I was erroneously identified with Bernie Maggot the swindler of the ultra rich. We snuggled up to stories of love and loss with Minah my Iraqi sweetheart whose brother Abdul bombed and murdered my mom in her chartered rock tour plane. Then it was Ginevra my sweet Calabrian plum (and our unborn child en ventre to a mere) executed in a bomb blast by the notorious Cyclops who then I assassinated in Romania.

I explained my brief tenure with the Central Intelligence Agency, my unforgettable hockey moment of fame playing for the Indian National Hockey team and scoring three goals against the legendary Ken Dryden. You were introduced to my work for The United Mutations particularly defending the victims of Montreal’s Queen Fairy Hospital governmental neglect and the revolt at The Mugless Mental Hospital.

Then my friendship with John Lennon ending with a ballistic tragedy. Also lest we forget my involvement with Don Lupara (The Fat Fox) in Naples, my exposure to the narcotic rings of the Scampia District in Naples and my internment at a psychiatric institution in Positano in Italy. And yes the somewhat comedic plane hijacking by The Sons of Westmount.

I am an exciting fellow you ought to closely monitor my new publisher Ollie, Mookie & Dylan Global Publishing wants me to flog. I am nothing special. I am simply The Penniless Pensioner and the pressing question is given the wild and aggressive antics of the President of The United States, Oran Crapaud, can Canada survive American imperialism and being the 51^st state? Is The Penniless Pensioner the force to preserve Canadian sovereignty?