“Lost in Puppydom: Rory Dylan Stephen’s Puppydom”: TERROR ON A SUBURBAN STREET: COYOTE CONFRONTATION!

TERROR ON A SUBURBAN STREET: COYOTE CONFRONTATION!

Remember the Seinfeld episode where Jerry, George, Elaine and Kramer were in a certain contest that had some reference to being masters in their domain?

I am master of my backyard domain as there I am the hunter. Squirrells, opossums and rabbits are my prey.

Last night I was in another’s domain and I was the hunted.

At 23:15 Bob and I head out the front door for our final walk. At this time of the night we occasionally encounter Snipsy or Jasper a couple of my canine friends.

As we headed down the steps we encountered an unleashed dog I didn’t recognize just ahead of us on the other side of the street. Bob immediately started yelling and clapping his hands. Something was amiss! I sensed DANGER! This was no dog but a coyote! I am 12 pounds now and face it but a shrimp against this savage brute. A killer. A demon. A maniac. A scourge on the canine population specializing in luring then attacking finishing off my brethren.

The coyote moved down the street to the next house. Bob and I stayed motionless, but the coyote started slinking toward us until Bob shouted, screamed and clapped causing the brute to back off. We backed up slowly facing the monster. Bob clapped and screamed again and the coyote backed off. It slowly moved towards us until it was at the end of the driveway some 20 feet away. I could feel its hot, fetid and menacing breath down my neck.  We made it to the front door. Alive and shook up.

I heard a few naughty words from Bob upset with our adventure.

Up to bed. I was put in my crate but I kept visualizing that scrawny and vicious creature so I began to cry and Bob opened the crate and I hopped up on the bed and unlike me gave him a multitude of kisses. We have had our differences over midnight romps in the snow disobeying the COME COMMAND but when I am fearful or in discomfort he is always there. I wiggled up to his chest as he sweet talked me to sleep assuring me everything was OK.

My advice to you when facing a coyote and it is stalking you is to pull out a Glock and shoot the bastard between the eyes. Failing possession of a Glock, which is hard to believe with truckloads of them from the United States pouring into Canada, stare it right in the eye, shout/scream/clap and hope for the best and do not turn your back nor run.

The City of Toronto is goo goo ga ga over coyotes in the “urban ecological system” unless of course some poor dog or human is mauled or killed. I say defund those lousy coyote lovers!