Life at Up Up and Away Investment Management International: Chapter 34 How to escape largecorp

Chapter 34

How to escape largecorp?

  • Death

Most largecorps have generous group life insurance policies that can be topped up based on variables of your salary. It makes sense if you have family obligations and children to support you max out your coverage. You’ll have to pee in a bottle, give blood samples and subject yourself to a terribly complex and invasive medical questionnaire but getting the maximum coverage may be a very sensible expenditure. Suicide usually disqualifies any death payout.

  • Termination

You may be subject to a downsizing event or an individual corporate hit. In such instances you will be entitled to statutory and common law severance benefits.  The common law benefits are roughly equal to one month of salary per year of service but expect to be shortchanged in a salary severance game, so best to consult with lawyers who specialize in employment terminations. It is an investment well worth making.

  • Lottery wins

The odds are not good on this one.

  • Inheritance

Again, a bit of a long shot but the more wealth you accumulate the faster you can escape the death grip of largecorp. In my experience there were three of them. One permitting me to purchase a house and the next one to liquidate a mortgage and the third one to add to a retirement nest egg.

  • Save your ass off

If you are thinking of retirement you must put aside vast quantities of money. Of course, if you enjoy cat food and dog kibble Mcspend like a fiend and hope for governmental support. Max out on your TFSA and RRSP. If largecorp offers any matching contribution of your pension plan contributions don’t be a fool so take advantage of it. It’s free money so as to speak.

  • Marry rich

Most of us marry for love rather than money! Of course, most of have never had that opportunity of marrying into money and are too stupid to realize its advantages if we are lucky enough to stumble into it.

  • Disability

We have discussed this previously. There is the possibility that long-term disability might give you up to 70% of your salary until you reach 65 at which time the benefits cease. The chance of this happening decreases the younger you are as that only means a longer payout period and long-term disability providers are in the business of making a profit and not providing “charity’. The longer you are potentially on long- term disability the more aggressive the insurance company providing the long-term disability benefits will be in trying to terminate the benefits. I spoke recently to R who had started receiving long-term disability benefits at 52. He was subject to intensive surveillance and countless harassing IME’s (independent medical evaluations ordered by his insurance company). If you are in your early 60’s the payout period to the cut-off date of 65 is rather less than a payout period starting at 52! R settled with his disability insurance company provider for several million dollars.

  • Criminal activities

Since various governments now control narcotics, numbers and liquor there is scant opportunity to muscle in unless you want to risk hard drugs, armed robbery and prostitution. Not willing to take it up the ass in a maximum-security institution?

  • Retirement

Congratulations if you have made it to retirement age. In 30 years in largecorp I have seen perhaps one authentic retirement but even there I am not entirely sure it was voluntary! Cheap wine and cheese reception for one and then a Costco cake and tea for the other. Both were in my mind thinly disguised terminations “with dignity”. I am coming to the impression that “retirement” only exists for members of the Senior Management Team!

  • Joining a cult

Perfect if you want to renounce sex, booze and rock n roll.

  • Establish your own business

You can either incorporate and hire yourself out to the highest largecorp bidder or try and establish your own business. The sad reality is that as a mom and pop operation at best you are a service provider to largecorp!

Of course, can you ever escape largecorp or are you bound to never-ending engagements with it?

Published by Robert K Sephen (CSW)

Robert K Stephen writes about food and drink, travel, and lifestyle issues. He is one of the few non-national writers to be certified as a wine specialist by the Society of Wine Educators, in Washington, DC. Robert was the first associate member of the Wine Writers’ Circle of Canada. He also holds a Mindfulness Certification from the University of Leiden and the University of Toronto. Be it Spanish cured meat, dried fruit, BBQ, or recycled bamboo place mats, Robert endeavours to escape the mundane, which is why he has established this publication. His motto is, "Have Story, Will Write."

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