The Greek Gods in their dimension of Zlano were in a tizzy. Aphrodite bore Zeus a son. Plans for the celebration of this great birth were planned months before the blessed event. Invitations had been sent to prominent guests including Willie Montenez. But after the birth of Bert Foonbean the new God of those with a “Starbucks Coffee in their Snout and a Love of Patios and Tossing Chairs off Condo Balconies” there were regrets about this celebration. This was an attempt for the Gods to reconnect with Starbuck obsessed and patio fixated Millennials. Bertie was not a run of the mill God but was a classic mutant Spartans would not have hesitated hurling off a cliff. The lad had the face of a 50-year-old mortal and spoke like an ancient philosopher and monk. Well that wasn’t too bad but he had a shrivelled arm and was missing a leg.
The birth ceremony was cancelled under the pretense the Gods wanted a private ceremony. They hummed and stammered their way out of a jam. For the Gods it was a period of mourning and not celebration, the narrow-minded bastards they were immune to the concept of diversity and global inclusion!
The Gods had always perceived themselves as perfection. Or at least that is what they always bragged about. If a mutant was discovered amongst their midst their reputation would be ruined so they thought. Bertie was immortal so he couldn’t be tossed off a cliff and murdered but how could they deal with their “issue”. Certainly, there must be someone who could be consulted about their quandary. Bertie realized he was an embarrassment to the Gods and it was best to leave. Why embarrass and disgrace the Gods and their quest for perfection and idolatry?
Perhaps there was some place where Bertie could live with dignity. Why sit in the closet all your life being glum?
Well the perfection obsessed Gods thought exile was the answer. A team of subadvisors was dispatched to find the creature on Earth called Squid who himself had once been a mutant toe but had since become an expert, through his own experience, on mutantism. As far as the Gods could see from their recent experiences on Samos in Greece the Earth was full of mutants. What difference would one more make?