“Mutantism on the March” : Chapter 45 “The Resurgence of Ricky Regurdle from the “I Love Mucy” Show

Ricky was amok at the directness and sensitivity of Squid. Squid was correct as regards his assumptions towards Regurdle. Lately he had been feeling useless and guilty about collecting his fat cheque paid from a bureaucracy that cared more about clean streets and garbage collection than it did about humans. What good would his life be if he continued working for the New York Sanitation Department? Not much. Subconsciously he had been praying for an opportunity like this so he jumped at Squid’s offer and said, “All right Squid. I’ll take you up on your offer. I have more than enough money to live comfortably for the rest of my life. Here is my opportunity to make the rest of my life worth something. As the age of my retirement approaches perhaps I can really be of some public service instead of working for a heartless public service. Maybe I’m boiling in a cauldron of career menopause but what the hell.

To be frank with you these gringos I work for have been suspicious of me lately especially after my last’s month’s speech at the Lion’s Club stating that the Cuban Revolution wasn’t that much of a disaster. At least there re no starving wretches on the street like when free enterprise and I were living in Havana. Well you can imagine what the brainwashed audience thought of that remark. Someone who they thought were in their ranks stirred their pile of Puritanical synthetic bullshit.”

The New York evening papers carried the story of Regurdle’s resignation and his farewell speech criticizing the greed of American foreign policy and included his pledge to forge ahead for further respect and right for mutants. He tore into the Cuban expat community in Miami for being useless tools of the American propaganda machine. The established political elite of New York claimed Regurdle was suffering from a  bout of temporary insanity but that did not prevent Ricky from charging ahead. The ancient and thinned ranks of the old Ricky Regurdle Fan Club in Hollywood was reborn and it sent a delegation to New York to praise the courage and integrity of their idol. Their first stop was the headquarters of the New York Sanitation Department where they created havoc by throwing coconuts through large plate glass windows. Large crowds assembled outside the building that somehow had become a historical landmark for the United Mutations movement. Several people starting dancing to old Ricky Regurdle records. As the nation focused on the weird events in New York Regurdle’s smash hit of 30 years ago “At the Tropicana” headed up the Billboard charts like a rocket. Warehouses full of Regurdle’s unsold albums were emptied in 48 hours. The “I Love Mucy” show in syndication showing in the early morning hours found itself again in prime time. Telegrams from all parts of the globe flooded the headquarters of the United Mutations. The Mutanto Politico of Columbia smuggled in three kilos of cocaine for the mutants in Gringoland. Psychiatric hospitals were rocked with riots after the United Mutations smuggled their manifesto into their wards. Paraplegics, dwarfs, Puerto Rican homosexuals, the blind, obese suburban ladies who were beyond help by Weightwatchers and even broken-down anarchists saw new hope in their dismal lives. All manner of undesirables seen as such by the mainstream but proudly referred to as the United Mutations as “mutants” crawled out of their hiding places and paraded the streets with their heads held high. Even the Pope gave a special mass blessing all mutants of the world as “dear things” equal with all in the eyes of Christ and the Holy Father.

While the United Mutations gained enormous popularity amongst a minority of Americans the majority saw them as an organization led by “Reds” attacking democracy and the American way of life. Several of the smaller African states expressed interest in the mutantism concepts as they were in a chronic state of underdevelopment and mutantism had a special niche for that in its theories. The developed world, that had done so much to under develop them, saw these people as shiftless, lazy, unproductive and ignorant. They were the lowest of mutants.

Published by Robert K Stephen (CSW)

Robert K Stephen writes about food and drink, travel, and lifestyle issues. He is one of the few non-national writers to be certified as a wine specialist by the Society of Wine Educators, in Washington, DC. Robert was the first associate member of the Wine Writers’ Circle of Canada. He also holds a Mindfulness Certification from the University of Leiden and the University of Toronto. Be it Spanish cured meat, dried fruit, BBQ, or recycled bamboo place mats, Robert endeavours to escape the mundane, which is why he has established this publication. His motto is, "Have Story, Will Write."

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