“Mutantism on the March”: Chapter 49 “Eno Ergot Emerges”

Spiritaki Jiber (aka Jiber Junior) had precious little time to act when he heard that one of his cadre had ben captured by Frizzy the Smicket Boy chief of the Zortixian Defence Academy. Frizzy would not be afraid to bash about his prisoner unlike the soft Zortixians. If only Jiber had not sped off to Earth Frizzy missed an opportunity to catch an enemy of Zortixia. Jiber did contact his friend Eno Ergot before he fled. Ergot quite frankly was a total idiot but he was the nephew of Redbeard the leader of the Zorollian Opposite Party hence could be a valuable contact. Jiber had suggested to Eno that perhaps one day they could rendezvous on Earth and form a conquering army comprised of deluded earthlings. This army could be used to conquer the entire Federation and bring fame and glory to Eno and Jiber. Eno, a man easily led into adventure, agreed but no date was set. It might be soon as Eno’s mischief on Zorollia had angered his uncle Redbeard and had resulted in increasingly stiff reprimands.

Eno was possessed with Earth mania consuming the limited literature on this unknown planet. He was fascinated with one particular pirate called Bluebeard who shared a similar name to Redbeard his uncle. His thirst for knowledge was somewhat abated when he read an essay by William Montenez Junior from the planet of Zortixia entitled “Notorious and Bloodthirsty Characters of the Planet Earth: How to Avoid Similar Historical Situations”. It contained a detailed essay on the pirate Bluebeard and the type of sailing vessel he used on his missions of plunder. After spending hours looking at Bluebeard’s ship he began constructing a replica with the help of his friends at the Zorollian Engineering Academy. The first two sank upon launching but the third try was lucky and he could be seen sailing it on the Zorollian capital’s city lake, Lake Ballatin, manned by a crew of recently freed convicts. Redbeard was delighted to see his nephew had finally settled down to a proper life. Anyways this weird vessel took the Zorollian minds off their dismal state of affairs.

Redbeard, the sole Opposite Party brute in power, had been facing pressure from the other Federation leaders regarding the conditions of Zorollian detention centres particularly the conditions facing political prisoners. What was a little torture now and then? Being a benevolent leader, he extended an invitation to Anemic International to investigate for themselves the conditions in Zorollian detention centres.

Very quickly new detention centres were constructed, the prisoners clothed in the latest fashion and fed enormous healthy meals so they would appear with glowing complexions. The worst outspoken prisoners were removed to unnamed prisons not on the formal inspection list. Paid Opposite Party members were to assume the role of detainees so as to create an impression of decent Zorollian detention life. The Anemic International delegation arrived on Zorollia and spent a week investigating. They had their suspicions of a hoax but without concrete evidence they could only prepare a vague report. On their last day they were invited to a lavish cruise on the beautiful Lake Ballatin near the capital city where Stogy Fish caviar and enormous quantities of muga berry liquor were consumed.