The story of Ergot’s adventure reached the first page of the Zortixian daily;
Bluebeard Our Hero ?
Although reports are vague and somewhat inconsistent at this moment we Zortixians have much to be grateful for. Late last night a man calling himself Bluebeard slipped into the Central Zortixian Mental Rehabilitation Centre along with a few of his “crew”. We are not quite sure where this Bluebeard came from due to yesterday’s wildcat strike of the Zortixian Space Monitors. After he accomplished his brave deed he fled the scene thinking victory was his. Our reporter on the scene did see the mysterious attacker whom his companions called “Bluebeard”. He was in a rush to escape probably fearing some retaliation from the Zortixian authorities. The Zortixian Defence Force arrived too late to question this Bluebeard as his craft had already departed. The Defence Force inspected the premises and startling evidence was recovered, a plot that may have spelled disaster for the planet.
Certain documents were found hidden in the basement revealing the real Zortixian doctors had been kidnapped and murdered years ago and replaced by North Wertian impostors. Readers are aware North Wertia, a non-Federation planet, is a dire enemy of Zortixians and have often threated us with annihilation all because its president banged his space boot on the table at a peace conference and our delegation had a laughing fit infuriating the president.
The North Wertian impostors through their use of plastic surgery replicated the murdered Zortixian doctors and adopted their mannerisms and memories so that their families never gave a thought they were dealing with impostors.
The North Wertians were attempting to infiltrate the Central Zortixian Mental Rehabilitation Centre and other similar centres to brainwash the helpless inmates and transform them into mindless attackers to paralyze key Zortixian defence capabilities to facilitate the penetration of Zortixia by North Wertian forces. All the impostors were killed by the inmates at the suggestion of this Bluebeard. They were beaten to death by spoons and all 36 died before Zortixian Defence Force troops arrived. The patients thought the Zortixian Defence Force was going to retaliate against them. One inmate mentioned the North Wertian doctors had been giving them “experimental drugs” which investigators determined was the last step to turn the inmates to mindless attackers. And considering these impostors worked in 26 Zortixian mental rehabilitation centres they would have been a force to contend with.
Whomever this Bluebeard was we thank him for possibly saving many Zortixian lives. Professor Gladbags a patient at the Central Zortixian Mental Rehabilitation Centre and a former teacher of Earth Studies, told us that Bluebeard was a famous Earthling pirate that had long ago died.
A small powerful bomb was found in the basement. Unnamed sources have a theory Bluebeard was planning to blow-up the Centre but realizing the North Wertians were already dead and not wishing to harm the inmates did not detonate the bomb. It seems likely that Bluebeard had a score to settle with North Wertia. Frizzy the Smicket Boy said at a news conference that (cont’d on page 3)
While the Zortixians were celebrating their good luck Redbeard was literally tearing his beard off. Ergot was a long way from Zortixia but his feeble mind had failed to remind him to set the timer on the bomb he had hidden in the Centre! Redbeard would be furious so rather than face his wrath he persuaded his crew to join him on a voyage to Earth to see if they could locate Spiritaki Jiber and form a conquering army to finally bring Zortixia to its knees. Eno was excited as perhaps he could find Bluebeard and carry out brilliant acts of piracy with him. However he missed reading the footnote stating Bluebeard was dead. They eventually reached Earth but with a bad landing the craft was damaged but they had landed near the famous German Touselberger shipyards and sailed away in a reconstructed pirate ship that had been turned into a brothel. They ejected the sex workers and clients, set sail and off they went. The next day the ship owner was delighted as the insurance company money would pay off his debts. Lids Insurance Company of London was not thrilled.