“Mutantism on the March”: Chapter 85 “Montenez Heads to Montreal”

Montenez was basking in the hot summer sun of Samos, Greece. He contemplated his life on earth. He recalled having promised himself and the Greek Gods he would help the febrile human race however he had little to show for this. Surely he could do better. Of course things were not going particularly well in Greece as Yero Pornodopolus a colonel in the Greek military and his cronies held Greece under their iron fists. There were numerous beatings, torturing’s and “disappearances” but many Greeks feigned ignorance except for a handful of intellectuals who if criticizing the military dictatorship they ended up in military prisons in remote Aegean islands.

Montenez had joined them in the northern Greek city of Thessaloniki but the military had responded to them by gunning them down with machine guns supplied by the American government.

Montenez fled Samos, a virtual cesspool of political ignorance which would rather feed off the rickety old Dutch and German tourists than think about democracy. Montenez received a telegram from Dr. Zodiac that read,

Dearest Will: Interesting chain of events happening in Montreal. Guardian of Bertie Foonbean, Squid, waging a mighty political struggle. Should meet him. Greeks here in potential big trouble. Do you remember the anti-Greek riots in Toronto in the 1950’s? Have reserved suite for you at the Ritz Marlton Hotel on Sherbrooke Street. Best Wishes. Dr. Zodiac.”:

Thank God finally a chance for some action Montenez thought. Montenez packed his bags and rushed off to catch the 14:27 flight from Samos to Athens and then connected to the Olympic Airways flight to Montreal. These Earthling transportation devices were so slow compared to the transportation devices in Zortixia. Well he sat in his first class seat sipping ouzo and munching octopus. He was looking forward to meeting this Squid..a man of action. He had heard of his exploits in Columbia and Nicaragua.

What a jolly chap this Squid must be!  Dinner was served and despite being in first class the chicken was plastic and the carrots were wilted and soggy. It made one feel like sticking to the Japanese single malt whisky. After the culinary insult more Japanese whisky.

Then from nowhere three men jumped into the aisles brandishing Cuban Pepito pistols and Ugandan grenades loudly ordering everyone to stay where they were. Montenez thought they were Greeks protesting the military rule in Greece as dinner was bad but not enough to prompt violence. They informed several passengers they were hijacking the plane to Toronto. Just what these desperate men were doing was made explicit to the passengers when one of them spoke on the P.A. system, “Good day ladies and gentlemen. In case you haven’t guessed it this is a hijacking. Do not fear we are not Bader Meinhof or Red Brigade terrorists. We are protesting against certain distasteful events occurring in the Province of Quebec. It is not directed towards you but rather against the Canadian government who is doing nothing against the mutant-communist-revolutionary elements. Their goal is to rip asunder Canada and plant the hammer and sickle flag in Quebec. It is high time the Canadian government sent in troops to crush these dangerous fanatics. The federal government has pandered to these elements far too long. Enough is enough. We three are proud Ontario patriots dedicated to focusing national attention to the revolution in Quebec that is threatening Canada. These fanatics should be arrested and imprisoned for sedition. Long live Canada! Long live the Orange Lodge!”

Some Torontonian passengers clapped and cheered. The Quebecers were angry and the Greeks baffled.

Published by Robert K Stephen (CSW)

Robert K Stephen writes about food and drink, travel, and lifestyle issues. He is one of the few non-national writers to be certified as a wine specialist by the Society of Wine Educators, in Washington, DC. Robert was the first associate member of the Wine Writers’ Circle of Canada. He also holds a Mindfulness Certification from the University of Leiden and the University of Toronto. Be it Spanish cured meat, dried fruit, BBQ, or recycled bamboo place mats, Robert endeavours to escape the mundane, which is why he has established this publication. His motto is, "Have Story, Will Write."

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