On a cold winter morning Montrealer’s awoke to the startling news of the kidnapping of the Scottish Trade Commissioner, Mr. James Dentalfloss. He had been abducted by a group calling itself the Far-Out Liberation League of Quebec (FLQ). Previously this group had restricted itself to bombing mailboxes in the tony English suburb of Westmount but obviously with a kidnapping they were expanding their techniques of terrorism. The FLQ left messages with radio and television stations that Dentalfloss would only be released when all non-Quebecois in Quebec be deported an obviously far out demand. Their demand seemed like a mere political statement more than a genuine ransom demand.
The Jiber sat in his MSQ offices snickering. His men had done well. No clues were discovered by Montreal police, Quebec Provincial Police or the RCMP about the kidnapping. Here was the glorious opportunity he had been waiting for. By planning the kidnapping his goal was to polarize Quebec society forcing people to take sides. Traitors could then be identified. Now all he could hope for was to incite mobs to attack American factories and offices of American corporations in Quebec that were doing business in the province. Manufacture a rampage so that American enterprises were convinced they faced expropriation and nationalization. Then hope the Marines would be called in to protect American interests. His agreement with a very prominent American politician still stood. Sooner or later a conquering army would be his. The entire galaxy would be his.
The governing Quebec Liberal Party was flapping wildly in the wind to catch the “political criminals” responsible for the kidnapping. They had underestimated the resolve of the nationalists. Having to hunt down the radicals who represented what many Quebecers secretly espoused was a risky affair. The Liberals had started the ball rolling on a Francization programme steeped in petit bourgeoisie mysticism and heroism. Metro stations and streets were changed to Riel, Papineau, Cartier and Henri Bourassa but this token strategy failed to appease the flock. The Premier Bob Poorassa had a cabinet full of respectable gentlemen in league with both Canadian and American corporations hence they were infused with the spirit of national unity with many sitting on the boards of Canadian and American companies and hoping to continue that position if and when booted out of politics. They had large share positions in the companies they sat on the boards of and to acquiesce to the demands of rabid nationalists might threaten their little kitty. The Montreal Bourse had already plummeted!
The Quebec Minister of Justice Jerome Porkchopette and Premier Poorassa thundered about the need for law and order and for strict measure to hunt down the terrorists. A no bargain policy was established. The democratic strongmen must show the population they weren’t to be pressured by murderous communists. By God do not antagonize the Americans. Who wanted the Marines in town?
Jiber’s FLQ plants were encouraged to use Marxist language in their FLQ communiques as this would be a perfect frame up of the leftist nationalists and discredit the left. Jiber realized that his followers would support an independent Quebec but not a Marxist one. Jiber sat in an excellent position as he could criticize the ruling Liberal government for not being strict enough with these rebels and he warned the public of the dangers of these violent Marxist elements. In the midst of all this confusion Jiber as Hecklevesque would emerge as a saviour. He would lead the province out of the political quagmire. Once he had the province in is sweaty hands after a nice little coup he would arrange for the torching of a few American manufacturing concerns, assault a few American citizens then ask for American military intervention to quell the anti-American revolution!