The United Mutations International Herald article:
US Espionage Unit Caught with Their Pants Down
The United Mutations of Montreal, Canada has come into possession of a tape with some rather enlightening information on it. But we knew you were aware of it already! The following conversation is caught on tape between Morris Filibuster, CIA Chief of the North American Bureau, and the President of the United States Richard Affliction. We have chosen selected snippets for your review. The complete transcript can be seen on pages 24-26.
Affliction: Fucking hot day Morris. Real Alabama weather. Those fat Southern bastards giving you any trouble over your proposed budget?
Filibuster: No sir Mr. President. You know we have our people in the House as well as in Chile (laughter) , Greece, Canada, Mexico and any other country you care to name. God Bless America and Democracy!
Affliction: Yeah….speaking of Canada what is happening in Montreal? I have just made a deal with some Froggie politician there and don’t ask me about it as it is all covered by executive privilege. It is strictly confidential.
Filibuster: Yes sir Mr. President. I always said you were right and had the best interests of the country in mind. Well….about this Montreal thing. We have a whole unit down there masquerading as a professional baseball team. They are called the Montreal Hexpos. As you initially ordered they are destroying anti-American groups through the usual tactics of blackmail, payoffs and the like. However due to the issue of your new orders they are now stirring up anti-Americanism. They are also kidnapping draft dodgers and smuggling them back to our blessed country across the Quebec Vermont border.
Affliction: Oh Morrie if you only knew the plans I have for that province. We are looking at the 51st state. Just instruct your Hexpo squad to be persistent. Get them burning down the Gillette factory in Montreal. Those bastards never contributed to my re-election campaign anyways. If all goes well there is a promotion in it for you Morrie.
Filibuster: Yes sir Mr. President but we are not without problems. The baseball players are so popular they have attained celebrity status so undercover operations are becoming increasingly difficult. Also there are those damn mutants and the CDQ warning about American provocateurs including the CIA.
Affliction: Come on Morris I have a few problems especially with someone that calls themselves “Sore Throat”. And these damn mutants in New York at the United Mutations are filthy commie anti-Americans. In our own country Morrie! In our own country. This is a national disgrace.
Squid wrote an article in the same edition that the transcript was reproduced;
The Same Old Wine in a New Bottle
Dear mutants and all readers you have hopefully read the Affliction transcript contained in this edition. You should not be surprised. This type of American “friendship” is common throughout the world. This transcript amounts to a kick in the ass to the Canadian government and their incessant babble about a “trusted ally”. Hopefully Canadians, Americans and the rest of the world will see Americans for what they are. What will we expect from them now? Nothing new. The same as before. I’d like to see the United States Information Service squirm out of this one.
Is it not time the Canadian ruling class see the dangers they face in directing the prostitution of their nation? Did they not think they would escape the fate of the Dominican Republic? They are the parasites of their country Canada but do they not realize when the host becomes angry it may cast its parasites aside. Do they care about mutant experience and insight about the Americans? Those Canadian politicians and their supporters are comfortable in Rideau Hall and in the best hotel suites sipping Scotch and attacking the evils of unemployment and separatism. The “serve” their country while the police force murders aboriginals and assists in kidnapping and “re-educating” aboriginal children in “residential schools.” Thousands languish in hospitals dying of disease, the air and water is polluted. The patience of mutants, particularly in the developing world, is dwindling. Look out America as your ass is going to be kicked if you can’t mount an effective cover-up of the Affliction transcript.
There isn’t much we mutants can do except take the moment and further organize and expand our numbers. We should try and dismantle these awful “Foster Parent’s Plans” that try and alleviate the poverty and misery American capitalism has caused in the developing word. Let no rich gruel masters pacify the revolutionary spirit with food and second-hand clothes and of course Bibles.
One lesson is clear. We must band together and crush American imperialism. If the fight is not further energized on all fronts we face defeat and can only hope the American Empire self-destructs in violent spasms Beware of CIA sponsored false prophets and politicians. Prudence would take too much time. And for many mutants time is an unaffordable luxury. As Bobby Seale says, “Seize the Moment!”