“My Life as a Golf Marshall” :The Beginning of The End

The beginning of the golf season may be riddled with April frost delays but that is the beginning and the golf hormones are raging. The frost delays creep back in late October and early November. Yes it is like the end of a life of a spawning salmon. Tee-Off times can be delayed anywhere from an hour to 4 hours. The desperation of golfers in the parking lot is evident. No golfer wants to end the season in disgrace and with self loathing. So they pace up and down the parking lot looking like addicts needing a fix of the golf drug. Chugging Tim Horton’s coffee and dreaming of redemption on a final game before winter forces them to head south assuming they can afford it.

At some point you would think that reality will set in. That the golfers will realize just how mediocre they are and one or thirty games will not change that but then again this golf addiction knows no end. There is no overdose or liver damage just self-loathing about the last game or the games before that.

A golf addict lives on hope based on the fix of a golf game. There is no overdose death There is only winter as a Naloxone kit.

I see these poor wretches pacing the parking lot waiting hours for their last mainline injection of golf. As a Marshall I am above this pathetic display but thank goodness Monday is looking good for my game! I am above all this shit. I think I am.

Published by Robert K Stephen (CSW)

Robert K Stephen writes about food and drink, travel, and lifestyle issues. He is one of the few non-national writers to be certified as a wine specialist by the Society of Wine Educators, in Washington, DC. Robert was the first associate member of the Wine Writers’ Circle of Canada. He also holds a Mindfulness Certification from the University of Leiden and the University of Toronto. Be it Spanish cured meat, dried fruit, BBQ, or recycled bamboo place mats, Robert endeavours to escape the mundane, which is why he has established this publication. His motto is, "Have Story, Will Write."

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