Nicole Kidman Productions Ltd. has sent a corporate jet to take Bob, Fay, Dylan the Westie, Mr. Gordon Lightfoot and Martin Malivoire to Los Angeles but our friend President Biden has asked us to stop at Dulles International in Washington to take a quick tour to the White House to meet our friends Joe and Jill Biden. We land and 4 limousines are on the tarmac to take us all to the White House. There are Canadian flags flapping on the limousine and we have a United States Navy escort.
As we drive up Jill and Joe and their German Shepard Commander are outside to welcome us. Joe picks me up and gives me a hug. I don’t give out hugs freely but for Joe I relent. President Biden says he has something special waiting for us? So we are ushered into the White House Dining Room where tea awaits us but Joe motions to me and Bob he would like to speak to us in private and so we go into his Oval Office and meet with Mr. Sneeky Peet the head of the CIA who is most anxious to hear about our North Korean trip. Bob fills him in and remarks Kim is a friendly fellow but the North Koreans we encountered seemed terrified of their “Supreme Leader”. Joe tells us the message that we delivered from Kim to Joe is that North Korea will stop all ballistic missile tests if the United States promises to deliver massive food aid to the starving North Koreans in a most discrete fashion. Joe is delighted and has responded to Kim saying he agrees. Joe thanks me for my role in safeguarding world peace. Joe has Bob and Fay taken to our tea and pulls me aside and laughing heartily says to me he really enjoyed his intelligence reports about me and Dylan the Westie cornering a journalist in Darwin when we were shooting the film with Nicole. The journalist mockingly mentioned my relationship with “Sleepy Joe” and that set Dylan the Westie and I off the deep-end cornering the journalist and growling like mighty Egyptian pharaoh guards and Scottish warriors. Joe said he loved our grit! The poor journalist was so frightened he peed in his pants.
So we go back for tea and Dylan the Westie and I have some raw carrots and jasmine tea and Joe raps on a tea cup and asks for our attention. Photographers from the White House jump into the room and President Biden gives a short speech about how Reggie, Dylan the Westie, Bob and Fay have done so much for the American people in Iran and North Korea that he is bestowing upon us a Presidential Medal of Honour! Joe and Jill hug Bob and Fay and we get a huge pat or two on the head. As a parting gift we dogs receive a doggie bed with a huge Presidential seal on it and a t-shirt with “Team Biden” on it. Joe has heard about a possible deal we have in the works with Kim to launch a chain of North Korean ramen noodle restaurants with Kim. “Noodles for peace” says Joe. Off we go to Dulles for our tip to LAX.