“Andrij The Orphaned Ukrainian Rescue Dog” :Chapter 7: Some Advice from CNN Newscaster Jim Prosciutto: I Want to Shit on the Lawn of the Russian Embassy in Washington

Chapter 7: Some Advice from CNN Newscaster Jim Prosciutto: I Want to Shit on the Lawn of the Russian Embassy in Washington

I am on the CNN corporate jet with veteran newscaster Jim Prosciutto as we head from Poland to Washington. He is asleep as we take off from Warszawa and I am on the seat next to him with my head on his lap. I too fall asleep. Over the Atlantic he wakes up and we have dinner served by a flight attendant. Polish sausages and fried potatoes for both of us. Jim has a couple of shots of Polish vodka. His hands are shaking and his voice is quivering. He does not look well. His eyes are red and moist. He has had 8 shots of vodka after the two initial shots and that is too much even for a Ukrainian except at a wedding.

Jim looks at me and says that he has seen and heard too much. Innocent civilians killed and maternity hospitals shelled by “savage bastards”. He tells me he feels like a Ukrainian and he is hurting. He can’t sleep. He has incessant images of death and destruction. Worse of all he has a sense of rage and fury at the impotence of politics about Americans sitting by as “the Ukrainians have the shit pounded out of them”. An hour of F-18’s striking the vulnerable “Russian convoy” would bring Putin to his knees and end it all.

He looks at me and tells me I have no idea of the important mission I have. I will be mobbed by Americans and Canadians. I will be exhausted by a brutal schedule. He says be prepared for an intensive non-violent combat. He adds you are a brave warrior and your mission is so terribly important that you a dog may be the saviour of Ukraine. He is frightening me. I am a simple dog. What is expected of me?

We land at St. Miguel Airport in the Azores for a refueling and Jim takes me for a walk along the tarmac where I do my business taking time to pee on the wheels of a grounded Russian Aeroflot plane. Later I see that pee captured on international news. I also poop and Jim picks it up and throws it on the doors of the plane to smear Mother Russia. Putin is in a fury and raises the bounty on my head from 5 to 10 million USD.

We land in Washington and I say good-bye to Jim. God bless. The US Secret Service picks me up and we are in a heavily secured convoy to the White House. My cute little white fluffy head is worth a pile of money! We pass the Russian Embassy. I would love to take a shit on their lawn. Even more I’d like to shit all over Putin’s assassinated body. That will have to wait. Do you still think I am a cute white fluffball?

Published by Robert K Stephen (CSW)

Robert K Stephen writes about food and drink, travel, and lifestyle issues. He is one of the few non-national writers to be certified as a wine specialist by the Society of Wine Educators, in Washington, DC. Robert was the first associate member of the Wine Writers’ Circle of Canada. He also holds a Mindfulness Certification from the University of Leiden and the University of Toronto. Be it Spanish cured meat, dried fruit, BBQ, or recycled bamboo place mats, Robert endeavours to escape the mundane, which is why he has established this publication. His motto is, "Have Story, Will Write."

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