I am feeling alone and frightened being in a strange country in a line of limousines surrounded by heavily armed men on my way to the White House. The only strength I have is that our President has asked me to do this for our country. Big and brave words but I am but a dog that days ago was cuddled and belly rubbed by Danilo and Daryna the children killed by Russian missile strikes. This is too big for me. But there are many counting on me. This is a very big pressure; Can I handle it?
We arrive at the White House and under heavy security I am whisked inside. Joe and Jill Biden greet me. The American President is an old man. Is he as wise as our President Zelensky? There are no media people here and our meeting is warm. There is chopped chicken and rice for me in a bowl with a very big bowl of American water. I scoff it down and look in the eyes of Joe Biden. I trust him. I read humans better than humans can. We sit by the fireplace and I hop onto Joe’s lap. He strokes my head and says how brave I have been and my attack on “The Brute” has swayed politicians more than any speech could have done. I am so sleepy and full of that American chicken and my long airplane trip I glaze over and they carry me into a small bed in the Oval Office. I don’t remember any of this.
I wake up in the morning and have chicken kibble for breakfast. What is this kibble? I am used to table scraps but this kibble isn’t bad.
Jill Biden takes me out for a walk on the White House lawn and I do my business. I spend most of the day by President Biden’s side with hundreds of cameras snapping pictures. I am a hero of the Ukraine and the American media loves it. American Intel has reports of Tsar Putin throwing his Borscht soup against the wall in the Kremlin screaming “Death to Andrij”.
Joe says that Zelensky’s address to Congress will be tomorrow but that I have been invited to a National Hockey League game between the Washington Capitals and the Toronto Maple Leafs. I will be a guest of some women called Nancy Pelosi. Jim Prosciutto called it as I am a very busy dog.
We go with a heavy security detail to the National Hockey League game. I visit the locker rooms of the Toronto Maple Leaf’s and then go to the Washington Capitals dressing room. I smell a Russian and growl and lunge at his private parts happy to rip them out but he has a steel cup protecting this family jewels, This is caught on media and the player’s reaction of, “Fucking Ukrainian Shit” is caught and broadcasted world wide. The Washington Capital fans boo him and throw their caps and beer cans on the ice. He will never play in North America again.