On the Ledge Part 5: Jumping off the Ledge: Becoming a Capitalist Wine Toady: Our Lolita Label

I haven’t received any pay cheques from East Berlin in three months. My contacts at the Interior Ministry say there is no Western currency left in the state coffers. They say you are on your own! I have given my life to the East German state and all those bureaucrats can think about is saving their own hide as demonstrations against the government increases and the state apparatus is afraid of crushing resistance fearing a backlash. So I am jumping off the ledge in the capitalist abyss. I want to make money. I am a professional spy and stoolie but I doubt the Royal Canadian Mounted Police want me as a spy. I could be a double agent but as the East German state will be disappearing there is nothing to be a double agent for.

Perhaps in wine there is salvation. There is no money to be made by 99.9% of wine writers in Canada. So I had an idea and approached some investors including the Penniless Pensioner. He loved the idea I had and he needed to launder some dirty Panamanian money so we formed” Lolita Wine Services”. Our first piece of business was to have Lolita sell wines by the case throughout Canada. We created our own label and brought cheap Spanish and Algerian wine by the container and bottled it ourselves under the Lolita label. We bought at 45 cents a litre and sold it at $9.99. We had “trusted” wine writers give it inflated reviews. We had a huge hit with “Confusion” a cheap Argentinian Malbec which was really Algerian plonk we added a bit of brown sugar too. We loved our corruption and the profit it brought. Next step to become a wine rating boiler room where we could charge to review wines impartially of course. A 90-wine rating for any wine is the Willy Wonka ticket to mass sales.

Published by Robert K Stephen (CSW)

Robert K Stephen writes about food and drink, travel, and lifestyle issues. He is one of the few non-national writers to be certified as a wine specialist by the Society of Wine Educators, in Washington, DC. Robert was the first associate member of the Wine Writers’ Circle of Canada. He also holds a Mindfulness Certification from the University of Leiden and the University of Toronto. Be it Spanish cured meat, dried fruit, BBQ, or recycled bamboo place mats, Robert endeavours to escape the mundane, which is why he has established this publication. His motto is, "Have Story, Will Write."

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