I sit in the Pico Island Prison for Foreign Wine Writers! The food is so damn good here and the weather is so shitty in Toronto plus the wine they serve beats the shit they serve at the South Detention Centre in Toronto so I think the slammer here ain’t so bad. In fact I have two tattoos already one on my butt of the Pico Island Volcano!
How did they nab me. I blame the Azores Wine Company giving me a bottle of wine Proibida which I found out later means prohibited! They could have told me before that! The label was all crossed out in red so I didn’t know what the hell I was drinking! The Azores Wine Company set me up!
It is a spicy and intriguing wine that the Azorean Wine Company folks violated Portuguese labeling laws with so instead of throwing them out they served it to foreign wine writers. Stinkers! I mean if I was in a better mood I would give it a 92 and eat it tonight with the Holy Ghost Stew they are serving for dinner. Since they have violated the wine bible of Portugal bureaucracy they serve it to all wine writer prisoners here….of which I am the only one.
For God’s sake don’t drink this in the Azores in Portugal or you may die in prison here! Of course now I have mentioned it now will be retailing for thousands of dollars once Robert Parker gives it a 89.999. The cardiologist and neurosurgeons will be guzzling it up while I sit in this prison dreaming of drinking Spumante Bambino!