Tuckered out from our Stockholm flight our private jet touches down at Toronto’s Pearson Airport. Our pilot comes to say good-bye to us as we take the stairs off the airplane. You wouldn’t believe this but it was John Travolta. He has inside contacts at Disney and is lobbying to be my voice in any Reggie sequel and asked me to keep him in mind for casting calls! We clear customs and Mr. Antonio is waiting for us in his Mercedes van. Sweet home and a bowl of clean and cold Canadian water with a simple chicken kibble and of course the occasional treats we find in our bowls. Dillie and I love watermelon particularly sweet yellow Ontario watermelon. Of course, we love cheese and the morning is not simply a morning without a piece of toast or a bit of bagel…. sesame of course. I can’t stand those Toronto Bagels where bread is made in circles and called bagels. I think of food too much but I am a dog after all!
Do you remember that sense of dread I had in Stockholm? It sits in my stomach as we enter our van to take us home. Penny has her mistress waiting for her and they head home to Beamsville. Kit Kat has been picked up by the Portuguese Consul General to Toronto. Dunny Funkheiser, Ollie’s master is there to pick up Ollie. Ollie is very upset with something. He tells me he smells danger.
We drive on the 401 Highway with Dunny and Ollie behind us and take the Bayview exit to our Bridle Path home. Why is that black Zil with tinted windows following us? As we pass by the Edwards Botanical Gardens and are a few minutes away from our home the Zil cuts us off and three heavily armed men approach the limo and shoot Mr. Antinio in the head before can grab his Dirty Harry Special Edition 357 Magnum. There is blood all over the seats. Dillie the Westie and I are not frightened. We have no guns but we have Scottish and Egyptian bravery in our blood. It is do or die time! Pay the price of our strength and bravery you low life’s. We’ll rip you to shreds!
The door of our van opens and Dillie and I take our victims. I jump out and lunge at the neck of one of the attackers. He collapses in a pool of blood. Dillie can’t jump like me so he attacks biting the ankle (his speciality) of another thug who falls screaming in pain but gets up and smashes Dillie the Westie in the head with the butt of his Browning pistol. Ollie jumps in the fray and is clubbed on his flank and is rolling on the ground howling in pain. Bob is in a rage and emitting a horrific scream runs toward the evil man who clubbed Dillie. Bob is shot in the shoulder and spins to the ground. Fay has fainted. One thug throws a Potato Masher and all I see is orange and the smell of burning human flesh. I look over briefly before passing out and see Dunny unconscious on the road his arm hanging by a yellow piece of gristle. Oh Allah, God or Jesus please help. PLEASE HELP REGGIE, DILLLIE, Ollie and Dunny! HELP BOB AND FAY. A wet rag with some horrible smelling chemical is put over my snout and I remember no more.
Dillie is in the best animal hospital in Toronto with a cracked skull and an inflamed brain. He has a 50% chance of living. Bob is in hospital having lost a lot of blood but he will survive. Fay is in a state of shock and does not know where she is. She is heavily sedated and for the time being in a calmer world.
This is an international incident and it is no surprise the “The Brothers of the Correct and Only Islam”claim responsibility demanding a $50,000,000 ransom be paid for my release. There is no religious overtones to the demands as these Bulgarian mobsters simply want money. But do they know who they are dealing with!
These cowards. If I could only escape from the cage they imprisoned me in I would show them NEVER MESS WITH A CAIRO STREET DOG!
Our friend in Washington Joe, oops, President Biden, phoned Bob in the hospital and he is so very angry that three brave dogs have been put in peril and Mr. Antonio murdered. His Federal Bureau of Investigation know much about these Bulgarian extortionists and criminals who launder money for radical fundamentalists in Pakistan. President Biden will send a top FBI operative with a very thick file to help the Royal Canadian Mounted Police in their “recovery operation”. The Pope in the Vatican has said a special mass for Dillie the Westie and me. Our friends Drake and Mr. Gordon Lightfoot have offered whatever help they can give. Bosco and Mr. Gordon Lightfoot are at a bedside vigil for dearest Dylan. Drake is so upset upon hearing of the carnage he cancels a show in Rochester and flies back to Toronto.
Is this all my fault? Would it have been better if that Rottenwhiler had killed me in Cairo? Pardon me for my foul language but these Bulgarian criminals are going to get their ass kicked in.
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