Spoof News Services: 4February2025: Washington
“Yesterday evening 60 United States Marine Walrus Special Forces limousines were dispatched to Ottawa, Canada with large “51st” markings on their exterior. Fittingly the vehicles entered through Kingston, Ontario and after a stop at McDonalds for wholesome American food our nation has come to love they proceeded 4 hours further to the Canadian Parliament buildings. I have received reports that along the 401 Highway crowds of Canadians waving our cherished flag greeted our brave patriots. Apparently chants of “Fifty-One” swelled as vehicles passed. Apparently the name of this stretch of highway honoured our patriots being called Highway of Heroes!
The United States government is pleased to announce it has offered the Canadian Cabinet an all inclusive fully paid vacation to the sunny shores of Guantanamo Bay in Cuba. There are water sports, comfortable accommodations, all you can eat buffets including the renowned Carney Carnita and all you can drink Schlitz beer. We have already heard from Canadian Foreign Affairs Minister Mabel Jolly she is anticipating waterboarding lessons and developing a magnificent tan.
The Canadian Cabinet has announced during breaks after intensive instruction in waterboarding it plans to develop a “friendship 51 strategy” in a sincere attempt to expedite the Golden Age of our country.”
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