Tentative Deal to End Ukraine Conflict Found in McDonalds’ Toilet Stall in Riyadh: It is a SHOCKER!: Spoof News Services: 25February2025

Posted byRobert K Stephen (CSW)Posted inPolliticsTags:, , , , , , , , ,

(SPOOF EXCLUSIVE)

Our reporting team at the Saudi Arabian meetings to end the Ukraine conflict has unearthed what appears to be a tentative outline of a peace plan. Our Spoof team found the plan handwritten on looseleaf fullscap on the floor of a toilet stall at a McDonalds on King Pooba Street in Riyadh. A courier for the United States government on his way from the central meeting room stopped for a Double Camel Cheeseburger and a date shake at the McDonalds and unused to foreign food had a violent case of the runs running to the toilet moaning and groaning enveloped by great clouds of fetid gas and fumes. In his despair, his stupefaction from the gas and violent contortions a very important  paper must have fallen out of his possession and was located by the Spoof team.

The handwritten notes, unfortunately splattered with human waste including date pits, fully explain the reasoning behind the attendance of the Turkish, Israeli, North Korean and Peoples Republic of China delegation. Here is what Spoof makes of its find.

The United States of America

  • Ceases all funding of the Ukrainian War of Aggression against Russia
  • The remainder of Ukraine not ceded to Russia becomes a state of the United States
  • United States pulls out of NATO
  • Gaza to become a state of the United States with exclusive rights of Kushner Real Estate Corporation to develop a new riviera
  • Canada to house approximately 2,600,000 former residents of Gaza in its Northwest Territories; Possible sending of Chinese Uyghur Muslims to the Canadian province of Newfoundland based on the “Come From Away” principle
  • Zelensky to be sent to exile in Haiti
  • Grants free trade/no tariff access to the United States to Russia
  • Withdraws from the United Nations

The Russian Federation

  • Receives all of Crimea
  • Pays for the reconstruction of Crimea
  • Receives all Russian assets seized during the Ukrainian conflict
  • Receives free trade access to United States markets
  • Withdraws from the United Nations
  • Will be able to establish 4 teams in the National Hockey League

The Peoples Republic of China

  • Receives Taiwan without interference from Russia or the United States
  • Withdraws from the United Nations

Israel

  • Receives West Bank
  • Sends all West Bankers to work at Gaza Riviera properties as caddies at golf courses, restaurant staff and amusement park managers
  • Withdraws from the United Nations

Turkey

  • With assistance of the United States receives 7 Greek islands in the Eastern Aegean to become part of Turkey
  • Agrees to permit the Russian Federation to establish 4 military bases in Turkey
  • Withdraws from NATO

North Korea

  • Permitted to establish a National Basketball team in the United States
  • Exclusive rights to establish dog farms in select locations in Crimea and establish “Hot Dog” fast food restaurants in Moscow, Istanbul, Gaza Riviera, Tel Aviv and Puerto Rico

Spoof reminds readers what is found on the floor may not be worth a hill of beans but we are on the story ahead of everyone as usual.

Published by Robert K Stephen (CSW)

Robert K Stephen writes about food ,drink, travel, film, and lifestyle issues. He also has published serialized novels "Life at Megacorp", "Virus # 26, "Reggie the Egyptian Rescue Dog" and "The Penniless Pensioner" Robert was the first associate member of the Wine Writers’ Circle of Canada. He also holds a Mindfulness Certification from the University of Leiden and the University of Toronto. Be it Spanish cured meat, dried fruit, BBQ, or recycled bamboo place mats, Robert endeavours to escape the mundane, which is why he has established this publication. His motto is, "Have Story, Will Write."

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