Amy Pickenbobber the Grade One student from Guelph, Ontario who was last seen being escorted from the Toronto Blue Jays training camp in Dunedin Florida by a MAGA Patriot Squad on 10January2025 to a waiting military airplane and transported to the Guantanamo Bay Naval Base was released today walking down the passenger ramp of a TU-134 Cubana Airways charter flight that landed Pickenbobber at the Pico Island Airport in the Portuguese Azores. She was greeted by her sobbing parents, the Mayor of Guelph Billy Bunion and the 15th Scottish Highland Infantry bagpipe band.
In return for Pickenbobber all water rights in Concession #156 of the Township of Guelph were ceded to Steve Bannon’s “Always in Hot Water” water bottling company.
The Canadian government will seek in court to annul the deed of transfer as against public order” categorizing the transfer of Pickenbobber to Guantanamo Bay as a kidnapping. The Office of MAGA Patriot Squad Control and the Secretary of Homeland Paranoia of the United States, Cristal Numbhead, referred to Pickenbobber’s journey to Guantanamo Bay as a “inter-nations” quarantine justified by Pickenbobber’s contact with the highly transmissible Bluejayosis as permitted under the United States “Quarantine Act for Foreigners”. The United States government denies any involvement in the inter-nations transfer of Pickenbobber instead referring all questions to The Office of MAGA Patriot Squad Control.
It is reported the Pickenbobber’s have negotiated a movie deal with Keanu Reeves production Company JWick based in Hamilton, Ontario.
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