The United States Bans the Sale of All Portuguese Wines: Toenail Fungus Juice a Threat to Americans: Spoof News Services: Porto, Portugal: 4March2025

Posted byRobert K Stephen (CSW)Posted inhealth, WineTags:, ,

The President of the United States today banned all sales of Portuguese wine in the United States of America by executive order 1,234.

White House Press Secretary Bleacha Blondie advised the nation, “ On the basis of extensive testing undertaken by Bobblehead Kennedy our Secretary of Poor Health in his basement, the only testing facilities available in the United States due to the cleaning up of corruption and fraud resulting in the shutdown of all CDC laboratories in our country, unacceptable amounts of toenail fungus have been discovered in chemical analysis of all samples of Portuguese wine.

President Trump informed of this contamination of wine referred to it as “Wart Wine” as he correctly named Covid-19 as Kung Flu banned the sale of this filthy stuff to Make America Pure Again.

The New Republican Guard under the brave management of The Shame Boys and the Oath Breakers has obtained secret video of Portuguese citizens stomping on grapes with unwashed feet in big cement vats a universal practice in Portugal where donkeys are the chief method of transportation in a primitive country and sanitary standards are non-existent.

“Drink American Wine” President Trump commands! “Make California Great Again.”

Gustavo Franchesina of the Portuguese Wine Export Association responded in language that Spoof can’t repeat but we can say in the gentlest terms he was displeased.

Further details and reaction from the Portuguese government will follow.

Published by Robert K Stephen (CSW)

Robert K Stephen writes about food ,drink, travel, film, and lifestyle issues. He also has published serialized novels "Life at Megacorp", "Virus # 26, "Reggie the Egyptian Rescue Dog" and "The Penniless Pensioner" Robert was the first associate member of the Wine Writers’ Circle of Canada. He also holds a Mindfulness Certification from the University of Leiden and the University of Toronto. Be it Spanish cured meat, dried fruit, BBQ, or recycled bamboo place mats, Robert endeavours to escape the mundane, which is why he has established this publication. His motto is, "Have Story, Will Write."

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