Getting sick and tired of the Trump Confusion show? And you thought Sleepy Joe was losing it? Tired of that rich overly fruity Washington State (or for that matter Washington D.C.) then think Ontario Merlot. You won’t have to think of Howard Outoflucknik when you consume it as its tariff free.
Aroma: Hints of a “tight Merlot” in that fruit is not gushing over the olfactory senses like a certain White House Press Secretary. Most American Merlot (of which we will steadfastly avoid until Trump departs or we become the 51st state) exhibit more fruit on the brain like Moron Tusk wielding a chain saw. Consider the black cherry, blueberry and cassis its friendship and full warmth not restrained by tariff threats lending a foul and bitter taste when taken seriously but this is Niagara Merlot folks good enough for Governor Trudeau to serve at his inauguration dinner where Tusk will be carving the roast beast with a gold plated chainsaw while balancing one of his 61 children on his shoulders.
Palate: Clearly a muscle Merlot disciplined and firm like the Canadian population fighting the cork taint morality of MAGA legions. Black cherry and firm tannins.
Personality: I am a wine with great integrity and backbone like a certain Canadian politician who showed it a little bit late in the game.
Food Match: A good old Canadian Pot Roast made with a good cut of beef trump roast.
Cellarbility: Perhaps keep in a cool damp cellar keeping company with thousands of imprisoned election stealers in the United States or captured Greenlander politicians.
Price: $32 CDN.
RKS 2025 CANADIAN Wine Rating: 91/100. Natalie MacLean 90.
(Sue-Ann Staff 2018 Mountain Bell Merlot, VQA Niagara Peninsula, Sue-Ann Staff Winery, St. Catharines, Ontario, 750 mL,12.5%).
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