“The Government of Canada is pleased to announce the imminent execution of the Trade Protection Pact (TPP) between Canada, Portugal, Mexico, Panama and Greenland.
Canada and Mexico are acting in self defence to illegal tariffs imposed upon them by sham executive orders of President of the United States, Donald Trump or as we affectionately refer to him here in Canada as “Donald”. These Donald executive orders are in contravention of free trade agreements executed between The United States, Canada and Mexico.
Threats of annexation or reclamation have been levied by the United States against Canada and Greenland by reason of the United States securing control their natural resources. Panama has been threatened with the seizure of its Panama Canal by the United States.
Portugal’s wine has been barred from entry into the United States by a fabricated claim it violates health standards of the United States being contaminated by toenail fungus. This amounts to a severe and direct insult to Portugal.
Further details about the TPP can be accessed on the Government of Canada website at wws.igloopeoplenation.com but I provide you here with some of its key terms;
Canadian Oil/Petroleum Products
Canada has agreed to provide tariff free petroleum to Portugal to be transported from Saint John, New Brunswick by way of specialized ISO Tank equipped tankers. Four such tankers will be built by shipyards in Collingwood, Ontario the cost being borne by the Canadian government.
Refining capacities at the Irving Oil Refinery in St. John, New Brunswick will be expanded to increase daily output of 320,000 barrels to 1,000,000 barrels. The cost of the expansion of existing facilities will be borne equally by the Governments of Canada and the provinces of Alberta and New Brunswick. All oil currently being shipped to the Northeastern United States by the Irving Oil Refinery will cease within one month after the signing of the TPP and diverted for shipments to Portugal.
All petroleum products shipped to Portugal must be for consumption in Portugal.
An Alberta to New Brunswick oil pipeline will be constructed such construction to start immediately and be funded by the Government of Canada.
Industrial Goods and Minerals
All industrial goods and minerals shall flow tariff free between TPP signatories.
Portuguese and Canadian Wine
Returning tankers from Portugal to Canada shall transport bottled (not bulk) Portuguese wine, including Port, back to Saint John.
Portugal has agreed to the establishment of Canadian only wine shops in Coimbra, Lisbon, Porto, Albufeira and Regua to be operated by Canadian entrepreneurs.
Produce, Pescatarian Products and Foodstuffs
All produce and foodstuffs, provided they meet standards agreed to by the provisions of the TPP, can flow tariff free between TPP signatories.
Notably this should benefit Greenland’s most important export fish and crustacean products and revitalize Portugal’s sardine exports
Tourism and Culture
Tourism and culture between the signatories shall be encouraged.
Accommodations in the Portuguese network of pousadas shall be offered to citizens of TPP signatories at half the list price.
All tourist visas will be eliminated for travel between TPP signatories’ citizens.
National air carriers shall not pay any landing fees at TPP signatories airports.
Sports
The Lisbon Larks professional hockey team shall be admitted as a team in the newly formed Canadian Hockey League. The Calgary Flames, Edmonton Oilers, Montreal Canadians, Winnipeg Jets and Vancouver Canucks were expelled from the National Hockey League by executive order of President Trump on 5March2025 and consequently have formed the Canadian Hockey League.
The Toronto Tigers soccer team shall be admitted into Portugal’s Liga 2 soccer league.
Restaurants
Tim Hortons will be permitted to establish 26 locations in Portugal and conversely the Portuguese chicken chain Frango Obrigado shall be permitted to open the same number of establishments in Canada.
Portugal, Canada, Panama and Mexico shall immediately declare Burger King, Kentucky Fried Chicken and McDonald’s outlets operating in their countries as a national health hazard and impose a tariff of 50% on the value of all food going into the gullets of their customers.
Charitable donations To Fentanyl Care Centres in the United States
Due to the fentanyl scourge affecting the United States and its total inability to deal with the societal issues creating and augmenting the problem and its historically irrefutable failure to stop the flow of illegal drugs into it TPP signatories shall make charitable donations to fentanyl care organizations in the United States as they see fit. Supply can never be controlled where there is demand. Fentanyl is not an excuse for economic destruction particularly when it is obvious Canada leaks a miniscule amount if that drug into the United States.
Administration Offices
A jointly staffed central administration office shall be established at Pico Island in the Portuguese Azores.
This is a great moment in history for Canada, Mexico, Panama, Greenland and Portugal. United we stand. United we will not fail.
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