Spoof has learnt a group of “terrorists” named The Green Mountain Boys attended a Tesla Dealership in Burlington, Vermont pouring Vermont maple syrup and nightcrawler earth over the shiny new Muskmobiles. Some vehicles had “11th Province” scrawled with lipstick on their windshields.
Sources close to Spoof say The Green Mountain Boys are Vermont successionists advocating Vermont becoming the 11th province of Canada.
Raids conducted by the Vermont National Guard at Tudhope’s Marina in North Hero, Vermont, The Alburg Golf and Country Club in Alburg, Vermont and a clandestine “compound” on Butler’s Island on Lake Champlain in the North Hero vicinity resulted in the seizure of 67 cases of Ontario and Quebec craft beer, 430 cans of Tim Horton’s coffee beans, 8 season’s tickets to Toronto Blue Jays baseball games and 43 pounds of peameal bacon. Numerous posters of hockey star Wayne Gretzky were found with an X written over Wayne’s beaming face while cuddling up to Republican politicians reading, “Stay in L.A. where you belong!”
A huge cache of Canadian flags was unearthed on Seagull Island proximate to Butler’s Island.
The Prime Minister of Canada Mike Carnut received an irate call from the White House displeased with yet unverified Canadian support for the “terrorists”. Carnut quipped, “We really really need Vermont as part of our country. The governor of Vermont would make an excellent mayor for our 11th province. We damn well need that Vermont maple syrup and cheddar cheese to make Canada Great Again!”
Just prior to publication rumors swirl in Washington about a trade which would have Alberta become the 51st state while Vermont becomes the 11th province of Canada.
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