President Donald J. Trump Awarded BIG DADDY AWARD

Posted byRobert K Stephen (CSW)Posted inPolliticsTags:, , , , , , ,

24January2026: Spoof News Services: Bracebridge, Ontario: The Muskoka Cottager’s Association today announced the inaugural winner of its Big Daddy Award.

Kurt Gristle, Vice President of the Muskoka Cottager’s Association (MCA) , explained the BIG DADDY AWARD is an annual award bestowed by the MCA to an individual that displays unwavering skills in uniting Canadians from Newfoundland to British Columbia.

Gristle stated, “The hostility, aggression and ignorance displayed by President Trump has done more to promote and foster Canadian unity than even the 1972 Canada-Russia Summit Hockey Series .” Gristle remarked President Trump has insulted Canadians by:

  1. Denigrating former Prime Minister of Canada Justin Trudeau to the extent he has been driven into the arms of musician Catty Periwinke.
  2. Threatening current Prime Minister of Canada Mark Carney for a recent speech made in Davos, Switzerland and for his attempt to repair relations with China which had deteriorated over the detention and arrest of Chinese executive Meng Wanzhou in Vancouver in 2018 as a result of a United States warrant. As Gristle stated,” Canada does a favour to the United States and suffers severe economic consequences and as a result Canada attempts to repair that damage by permitting initial deliveries of 49,000 Chinese electric vehicles and Big Daddy Trump poops all over Canada.”
  3. Stating Canada only lives because of the United States.
  4. Stating the United States won World War Two ignoring the contributions of its once allies including Canada.
  5. Stating Canada should be the 51st state.
  6. Referring to former Canadian Prime Minister Trudeau and current Prime Minister Carney as “Governors of Canada”.
  7. Referring to Canadians as “igloo people”.
  8. Posting maps online showing Canada and Greenland as part of the United States.
  9. Stating Canada did nothing in the United States war against Afghanistan whereas 158 Canadian troops and a senior Canadian diplomat died in Kandahar province in Afghanistan.
  10. Incessantly threatening Canada with tariffs.
  11. Stating the United States does not need Canada for anything. Gristle remarked, “Repeat that to the tourism industry in the United States!”

Notice of the award was sent by regular mail to President Trump at the Merde Lardo Golf Course clubhouse in West Palm Beach today. A ceremony will be held on Canada Day (July 1st, 2026) at the Port Carling IGA reception hall.

Kurt Gristle is a former American citizen once residing in North Bergen, New Jersey and a well-known actor in the United States who received political asylum in Canada after fleeing an arrest warrant in the State of Minnesota after starring in a sequel to “Escape from New York” which was to be entitled “Escape from Minneapolis”. The movie will continue to be filmed in Winnipeg, Manitoba. He resides in Port Carling, Ontario with his actress wife Gilda Yawn.

Published by Robert K Stephen (CSW)

Robert K Stephen writes about food ,drink, travel, film, and lifestyle issues. He also has published serialized novels "Life at Megacorp", "Virus # 26, "Reggie the Egyptian Rescue Dog" and "The Penniless Pensioner" Robert was the first associate member of the Wine Writers’ Circle of Canada. He also holds a Mindfulness Certification from the University of Leiden and the University of Toronto. Be it Spanish cured meat, dried fruit, BBQ, or recycled bamboo place mats, Robert endeavours to escape the mundane, which is why he has established this publication. His motto is, "Have Story, Will Write."

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