Fame can strike when least expected. I was invited to the United Mutations box at the Montreal Forum to watch a special hockey match between the Montreal Canadians and the Indian National Hockey Team all the Indian team being dual Canadian citizens save for the goalie an “Untouchable” who was also a star cricket playerContinue reading “The Penniless Pensioner: Misaligned, Maligned but Marvellous (The Final Version): Chapter 12: My Moment of Fame Thanks to Food Poisoning! Me the Bombay Blaster aka Bombay Bastard!”
Category Archives: literature
“The Penniless Pensioner”: Misaligned, Maligned but Marvellous (The Final Version): Chapter 11: My Routine at Montreal’s McGill University
Accustomed to a high-level standard of living in Bombay I chose my Montreal lodgings fitting for that standard. Being humble I rented the Presidential Suite at the Four Seasons in Montreal on Sherbrooke Street 8 minutes from most of my classes in the Leacock Building. A full staff to support my daily activities could beContinue reading ““The Penniless Pensioner”: Misaligned, Maligned but Marvellous (The Final Version): Chapter 11: My Routine at Montreal’s McGill University”
The Penniless Pensioner: Misaligned, Maligned but Marvellous (The Final Version): Chapter 11: What Courses Do I Take at McGill University?
I had mentioned I was awarded the Claire and Warren Quimby Scholarship for Third World Disadvantaged Urchins to McGill University. I was undecided as to what programme and what degree I should enroll in. My teachers at King’s School for Young Men in Bombay strongly recommended I obtain an arts degree to broaden my mindContinue reading “The Penniless Pensioner: Misaligned, Maligned but Marvellous (The Final Version): Chapter 11: What Courses Do I Take at McGill University?”
The Penniless Pensioner: Misaligned, Maligned but Marvellous (The Final Version) : Chapter 10: More Editorial Interference from Wuhan Wet Market Publishing: What I Don’t Like About Canadians
I am attempting to write my biography here collaborating with the renowned journalist Robert K. Stephen but yet again Wuhan Wet Market Publishing is interfering with my creative process. I received a call from senior editor Natasha Polehead demanding I should refrain from comparing Canadians to Indians, Brits and Americans as I will alienate someContinue reading “The Penniless Pensioner: Misaligned, Maligned but Marvellous (The Final Version) : Chapter 10: More Editorial Interference from Wuhan Wet Market Publishing: What I Don’t Like About Canadians”
The Penniless Pensioner: Misaligned, Maligned but Marvellous (The Final Version): Chapter 9: What I Like About Canadians! : Calm and Quiet
Halfway into my first term at Montreal’s McGill University I began to appreciate the Canadian character. What do I like most about Canadians? As you may recall I went on a farewell tour with my mom Juanita Billabong performing in many urban venues in the United States so I have a focal point to compareContinue reading “The Penniless Pensioner: Misaligned, Maligned but Marvellous (The Final Version): Chapter 9: What I Like About Canadians! : Calm and Quiet”
The Penniless Pensioner: Misaligned, Maligned but Marvellous (The Final Version):Chapter 8: Minah My 140 Kilo Sweetheart
You may recall my initial infatuation with Minah my little hummingbird and tabbouleh slinging sweetheart in Montreal. I had been accepted to McGill University in Montreal with a full Claire and Warren Quimby Scholarship for Third World Disadvantaged Urchins. I didn’t need the tuition money but seeing the bastards the First World can produce, particularlyContinue reading “The Penniless Pensioner: Misaligned, Maligned but Marvellous (The Final Version):Chapter 8: Minah My 140 Kilo Sweetheart”
The Penniless Pensioner: Misaligned, Maligned But Marvellous (The Final Version):Chapter 7: That Bastard in Montreal Murdered My Mom Juanita!
I was somewhat riled by several visits the American Federal Bureau of Investigation and the Chief of the Bombay Police Inspector Suri Saleem paid to me. Did my mother have any enemies I was aware of they repeatedly queried. I knew of no enemies. They returned to ask me if I had any enemies. Me!Continue reading “The Penniless Pensioner: Misaligned, Maligned But Marvellous (The Final Version):Chapter 7: That Bastard in Montreal Murdered My Mom Juanita!”
The Penniless Pensioner: Misaligned, Maligned but Marvelous (The Final Version): Chapter 4: My Displeasure with Wuhan Wet Market Publishing and Why the Term “Penniless Pensioner”
Excuse me for interrupting the flow of this modern disjunctivist autobiography but my publisher Wuhan Wet Market Publishing (WWMP) insists, and they have the contractual right to do so, that I not delve into significant details as to my name “Penniless Pensioner” in the early parts of the autobiography. My view dear reader is thatContinue reading “The Penniless Pensioner: Misaligned, Maligned but Marvelous (The Final Version): Chapter 4: My Displeasure with Wuhan Wet Market Publishing and Why the Term “Penniless Pensioner””
The Penniless Pensioner: Misaligned, Maligned but Marvellous (Final Version): Chapter 3: Juanita Wallabong’s Farewell Tour
When I was 14 years old my mother Juanita no longer wanted to give live performances as the anxiety that afflicted her was overwhelming even with those “Mother’s Little Helpers” otherwise known as Xanax and the live performances only encouraged her to continue guzzling gin “to take the edge off”. Despite her live performance anxiety,Continue reading “The Penniless Pensioner: Misaligned, Maligned but Marvellous (Final Version): Chapter 3: Juanita Wallabong’s Farewell Tour”
The Penniless Pensioner: Misaligned, Maligned but Marvellous: The Final Version: Chapter Two: Growing Up
Perhaps hypnosis or magic mushroom guided tour could revive my memory of my early years. As I am not presently afflicted with multiple psychiatric difficulties perhaps those early years were fine. I am told by my mother and father I relished playing in the dirt alone with my dinky toys. I could play for hoursContinue reading “The Penniless Pensioner: Misaligned, Maligned but Marvellous: The Final Version: Chapter Two: Growing Up”
