“Mutantism on the March” :Chapter 63 “Dr. Zodiac Visits The Thunderbird Lawn Bowling Club”

Dr. Zodiac took the report to the office of Dr. Willbringer and said, “Dr. Willbringer I really must thank you for extending me the courtesy of reviewing some of your medical records. Your Institute has a fascinating way of treating some of its patients. One of the cases I saw reminds me of one we had in Salonika. I would be eternally grateful if you might be able to answer certain questions I have on it?”

Dr. Willbringer replied, “Sure thing buddy. Nothing beats the power of international medical co-operation.”

“Well for example I see that you ae not afraid to use shock therapy or a Kennedy Lobotomy. How has your success been with these two methods? All European countries, except the communist ones, have banned such treatments and as a result we are dropping the word “Shock” in our institute’s name. In our experience we have learnt that a lobotomy destroys the mind and shock therapy only temporarily solves the patient’s problem and not only that it may even return with increased vigor. All that is needed is stress or shock to rekindle the problem and we are back to square one.”

“Yes Dr. Zodiac we here in America are phasing out shock therapy except in the rarest cases. Remember like thalidomide it was once in vogue. Too many people were caught up in its newness so it was used liberally and it was cheap which in a capitalist society is appreciated because it increased profits. Now this case you mention Zenon Girov I can not say I was directly involved with his treatment but perhaps this is a case where shock therapy was effective as he is now a successful lawn bowling pro at the Thunderbird Lawn Bowling Club. My mother is a member there and tells me Zenon is honest, compassionate and caring with his lawn bowling members.”

“Well you may be right. I may just drop by and check him out. Where is this Thunderbird Club?”

“Head up three blocks to Interstate 12, head west and exit on Puny Street and you’ll see the Thunderbird just beside Hannibal Lecter’s Burgers.“ By the way why not come over to my place for dinner and tomorrow you can visit the Thunderbird. My wife and I were in Greece last year and had a wonderful time. Perhaps you can see some of our slides.”

Dr. Zodiac accepted the invitation and they were off. After a dinner of steak so large they look like cuts from a brontosaurus and awful California red wine poor Dr. Zodiac was forced to listen to Dr. Willbringer berate proposed Medicare plans that would eliminate individual choice and plunge the country into creeping socialism. I would be a terrible blow to the insurance industry. As if listening to this rubbish wasn’t bad enough watching the Greece trip slides and playing bridge with Jean Carbuncle a stout widow and next-door neighbour Dr. Zodiac feigned exhaustion from a long day and a tiring transatlantic flight and made his getaway thanking the doctor and headed back to his hotel.

First thing in the morning he grabbed breakfast at the hotel, hopped in his rented Edsel and headed out to the Thunderbird Lawn Bowling Club. Dr. Zodiac was not to be disappointed as he saw Zenon on the bowling pitch applying fertilizer. Shortly thereafter a rather aged crowd of Thunderbirds appeared on the green tossing some warmup rolls. Under the guidance of Zenon they went through some warm up exercises. At the average age of 82 the warmups were essential to avoid injury.  

Zenon was not of impressive build being slightly over five feet and very gaunt and almost comical with his size 15 lawn bowling shoes. He had a pointed and acne scarred face with a scraggly beard But this ugliness and awkwardness vanished into true artistic beauty as he wound up and let the balls glide. It was if some magical power had seized him and transformed him into an Isadora Duncan. He displayed a gentle touch with the members never losing his temper or composure. Dr. Zodiac decided it was time to speak with Zenon but two mini buses arrived carrying The Palm Spring Spinsters Lawn Bowling team. It looked as if this was going to be a competitive match. So the conversation with Zenon would have to be put aside for the moment. In the meantime, the lawn bowlers were throwing practice lobs and swigging from silver flasks and smoking joints

Published by Robert K Sephen (CSW)

Robert K Stephen writes about food and drink, travel, and lifestyle issues. He is one of the few non-national writers to be certified as a wine specialist by the Society of Wine Educators, in Washington, DC. Robert was the first associate member of the Wine Writers’ Circle of Canada. He also holds a Mindfulness Certification from the University of Leiden and the University of Toronto. Be it Spanish cured meat, dried fruit, BBQ, or recycled bamboo place mats, Robert endeavours to escape the mundane, which is why he has established this publication. His motto is, "Have Story, Will Write."

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