After we wake up and have our bowl of kibble and a half cup of jasmine tea in our water bowl Bob takes us dogs aside and says we have a call with President Joe Biden at 2 p.m. What is going on?
At 2 p.m. we have a virtual meeting with President Joe Biden and his new German Sheppard puppy Commander.
Joe talks with Bob and mentions he would like to send Dylan the Westie and I to North Korea on a “friendship tour”. We are not to act as spies. We are to contact their leader Kim Jong Un and tour the country and meet North Koreans. We are apolitical ambassadors from the West and North Korea has allowed my two Disney movies to be shown to the public and they love the film. Bob will take a message to Kim from Joe saying please welcome Reggie and Dylan the Westie who wish to discover the glorious republic of North Korea and establish a friendship base that we political leaders can build upon.
We arrive in North Korea on our private jet and Bob, Fay, Dylan the Westie and I step off the plane and there is a band playing the Canadian national anthem and children throwing flowers on our path to a huge Russian Zil Limousine. North Korean politicos shake Bob and Fay’s hand vigorously and nod and bob like we are old friends.
We are whisked to our hotel and have a huge suite. Bob says we are being watched so I feel uncomfortable especially since North Korea’s famine has resulted in bourgeois dogs being rounded up and used for food!
We eat a delicious meal at a restaurant with some dignitaries. No expense has been prepared and Bob and Fay feel a bit guilty considering that media in the west has been reporting a terrible famine in North Korea. At least we dogs are not on the menu!
We have a restless sleep on our gift beds which have a hammer and sickle on them. Back to the days of Stalin?
We spend the day with a guide seeing the sites of Pyongyang and are back at our hotel named “Hotel of Our Glorious Leader” at 5. A variety of cocktails are served by waiters in white outfits with white gloves. Bob and Fay have showers and at 7 the Zil arrives again for our trip to the Palace of Our Glorious Leader where we will have dinner with the glorious leader Kim.
We are welcomed like long lost brothers and Dylan the Westie and I are taken to Kim with Bob and Fay being barred by soldiers with bayonets.
So it is us dogs with what many think is a crazed leader. Kim welcomes us with a chicken treat. He says come my friends and we jump on his lap. He strokes our heads and says in perfect English that we are welcome in his country and he wants us to meet its people. He sees the message from Joe on my collar and reads it and laughs. He seems to be in agreement with it. Before we leave he says, not thinking I can understand him, that he welcomes us and the people of North Korea must meet us.
I have seen many news articles and documentaries about Kim that he is a bloodthirsty tyrant but who is this man?
We have a private dinner with Kim and his sister and the talk is of Canadian football and Canadian wine. We noticed that there are wines from Meyer Family Vineyards from British Columbia. Bob brought several mincemeat pies from Toronto which Kim counters with Kentucky Rye Whisky! Kim asks shyly if he can be invited to the next Canadian Grey Cup championship football game.
There must have been twenty courses served. We dogs get rice and “Great Revolution” chopped chicken! YUM! WE DOGS LOVE CHICKEN!
With good spirits and bloated bellies, we retire to a private screening room to watch “A Dog Saved My Life”. With Bob and Kim smoking Cohiba Cuban cigars and drinking Japanese single malt whisky we are one happy family. Is there something wrong with this picture?