I might have been a bit rude growling at our President but I did it in a gentle way and perceptive as the man is he understood completely my preference to stay here and fight. I can carry messages, sniff out bombs and Russians and their mercenaries and spies. President Zelensky tells me Ukraine could use me as a brave warrior dog but I can be of bigger value to the nation by going to Canada. How can this be? I don’t understand. President Zelensky explained that I would go on tour in North America to raise support and weapons for Ukraine in a way a human could never do. I see his point. It is no time to be selfish.
My ears perked up and my jaw opened where he said I would be going and working with. Holy mackeral and Putin’s dirty ass I am going to be staying with Reggie the Egyptian Rescue Dog and Dylan the Westie the Brave Warrior. Reggie is the most famous dog in the world. I have seen both his Disney films, read about his relationship with Joe and Jill Biden, his connections with the Pope and Canadian Prime Minister Trudeau and his popularity in the Muslim world. He has been in a movie with Nicole Kidman! Now I will be with him and Dylan on Team Ukraine! The President tells me I will be instrumental in saving abandoned Ukrainian dogs. I will be leaving tomorrow on a corporate jet owned by the CNN network. The famous journalist Tim Prosciutto will be taking me to Washington. There is going to be a photo-op with Joe Biden and the Ukrainian ambassador. I am then going with Joe to a special session of Congress to hear President Zelensky address Congress. I sense I have a huge job ahead of me. I can save thousands of lives of both dogs and humans in the Ukraine. And when my job is done President Zelensky has promised me combat duty.