“Turkey on the Roast” (NCR)
In the oven it slowly sizzles
She bastes it with loving care
Until soon a quaint aroma fills the air
Then in go the potatoes
She contentedly sits watching it brown
Talking to it a chilling voice
Urges it on for her two special guests
she laughs gaily, “Soon the guests will be here”
Turkey is on the roast
The hours drift by
finally it is done
But the guests have not yet arrived
Carefully she carves it up nibbling on a drumstick to quell her hunger
Then a delicious gravy is prepared with the succulent juices
She dejectedy starts on her lovely meal
Potatoes are fine and the turkey is great
but the guests are late
halfway through her meal
the doorbell makes a solemn peal
“Ah yes. It must be the O’Neal’s”
Mrs. O’Neal asks, “Has Timmy been good? Have you been cooking? “
“Yes Ma’am” the babysitter says
Up the stairs the parents come
Mrs. O’Neal screams discovering Timmy’s remains
The babysitter smiles and says, “Turkey is on the roast. Care for some? “
(A true story)