Grade one student, Amy Pickenbobber, from Guelph, Ontario was arrested at the ballpark and escorted to the “Deportee Express” Super Galaxy U.S. military cargo plane earlier this week. Pickenbobber was last observed clutching her stuffed animal “Mr. Monkey” shouting, “Mommy, the bastards are taking me!”
Pickenbobber is the youngest child of Horst and Getrude Pickenbobber who were attending the Toronto Blue Jays training camp in Dunedin Florida when several Blue Jays players and fans died writhing in pools of blood they had vomited up. MAGA patriot squads arrested Pickenbobber because as their squadron leader Buzz Wispybeard said, “The little Canuck brat was wearing a Canadian flag on her sweater and on her Barbie knapsack. This is disrespectful to our flag and we suspect she is ground zero for this outbreak. We will quarantine and interrogate her at Guantanamo Bay and get to the bottom of this.”
As Spoof reported on 10February2025 it was the Albanian health authorities that notified the United States of an Ebola outbreak in the Undemocratic Republic of Congo. The Center for Disease Control was in the midst of fraud and corruption “rightsizing” spearheaded by Presidential Superadviser Moron Tusk with no senior management remaining in place to co-ordinate a response to an impending global health threat so the Albanians helped out a friendly neighbour by giving the United States a head’s up.
To date 865 residents of Dunedin have perished in a horrible blood gushing writhing way. The Governor of Florida Ron de Senseless addressed the media and said in part,” This Blue Jayosis reminds me of Kung Flu. Both were thrust upon the United States by foreigners. If Canada was the 51st state it would benefit from the United States health care system and the Pickenbobber brat would not have caused all this fuss. If you or your loved ones are stricken with Blue Jayosis take two aspirin with your Ozempic have a hot bath and go to bed early. There is nothing to worry about.”
Spoof notes that in terms of rankings of national health care systems the United States ranks 37th just below Jamaica.
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