RKS Health: Your Prostate: Elevated PSA Urologist Follow Up: Will They Afford You Any Dignity? Facing The Rectal Firing Squad!

Well fellows your PSA levels as indicated by your blood test are above the normal level and a follow up appointment has been booked with a urologist. What to expect?

  1. Will Your Dignity Be Preserved?

As you check in with reception at your urologist hopefully you can have a long hallway to pace up and down before you meet the firing squad. Pacing may relieve your stress perhaps more effectively than a double martini or a benzo.

  • Do They Understand Your Anxiety?

Assuming you are not a GI Joe you really aren’t looking forward to this…hopefully. Do those medicos make you strip and put on a hospital gown to rub your vulnerability up where they are going to lube and give you a digital rectal examination? Nakedness is your humiliation and their power.

  • We Have Seen This Before So Don’t Fret!

Yes they may have seen butts and other assorted male organs hundreds of times before so don’t sweat it they say. But you the patient derive no comfort from this. You haven’t been a vulnerable specimen a hundred times. Cruel and uncompassionate words.

  • Welcome to the Rectum Clockwork Orange Violence

DRE pros. Have a PSAsutra favourite position? Sideway hugging the knees or doggie style? It isn’t that bad. It is the anticipation that shreds the mind. Best to at least take off your shoes for the squat!

  • What Follows?

Pee in the bucket to measure urine retention. Easy Peesy! Bladder ultrasound.

  • Meet and Greet or Flee Before The Meet?

No problem? Most likely not. Prostate cancer is no joke so you will be asked a hundred questions and then if you are not toast you find out your risks for developing prostate cancer. Fortunate ones may be told your enlarged prostate needs to be shrunk so big Pharma to the rescue with 50 mgs of Mirabegron. No caffeine please they may say. Move to a monastery is best.

  • Suck it Up Dude!

I blame myself for being cautious. I asked for a PSA a rather denigrated test as being unreliable but after peeing up a storm on a flight back from Lisbon I put up the white flag and surrendered and started this whole process. I am trying to give you a lighthearted view of the urologist visit to cheer you up and encourage you to have the PSA so as you ferociously pace the hallways you can think of me as your sacrificial animal.

Update: The Albanian Association of Urologists have issued an arrest warrant for the author of this article claiming an affront to their organization. Security details have been assigned to prevent his kidnapping to Tirana.

Travels to a Different Time: Travels to a Different Time: 4February1971: Palma de Mallorca, Spain

Dear Boys:

Tomorrow I am heading for Frankfurt. I have had a wonderful time here but am getting a twinge of homesickness so had better get around to my business if I want to see Holland.

I had my hair done today and I look like a Spanish Senorita-hair too high. I don’t like it.

I bought you both beautiful leather gloves. I was sick yesterday-such a stomach-ache and the runs. I am OK now but it was awful.

The stewardess I came over with phoned this morning and she had been talking with your sister Barbara in New York so I know that all is OK.

I may stay in Nice for two days on the way, or even a week. I will write you as soon as I know where I will be.

I hope you are both OK. I do miss you but feel that this is good for both of you. You must become independent. Andy has had a crack at it and you Robert are doing a pretty good job. In a way it is hard for all of us.

I met a British film director last evening at the hotel. I had dinner with him. He has kids your age. If we ever go to London we have a place to stay.

I am eating more now and had a beautiful lunch of beef on a stick and bought a little cake on the street and ate it on the street and no one cares here or looks at you.

The bus driver yesterday was singing the whole trip and I noticed a lady picking her nose and very open about it not like you Rob. Then a man scratching his rear. No one here cares what they do. On the next bus I took after dinner the driver was whistling the whole trip. I have seen so much here I will have to tell you about. It is a different world here in Spain. The Spanish people rarely smile. They wear very dark clothes which is so different from Jamaica. But they do sing here all alone walking down the street. There is only room for one person on the sidewalks. There are hundreds of cabs all small cars. I saw a general in a big car today with a flag on it.

It is fun to see other places but I am happy to be a Canadian and very proud of it. There are a few Canadians here but I have yet to meet one.

Love Mum

Reggie the Egyptian Rescue Dog: INTRODUCTION

Hello. Let me introduce myself. My name is Reggie and I am the luckiest and happiest dog in the world. Please read my story to determine why I am saying this.

Before we start my story, I well tell you I am a 15-year-old Shih Tzu mix living with Master Bob and Mistress Fay in Toronto, Canada. I am becoming a senior dog. My legs are a bit stiff and I must bark around 5 every morning so that Bob or Fay can come downstairs and put me out to pee in the backyard. When you are a senior dog (and a person!) you must go the bathroom more frequently! But I get carried up to their bed and can snuggle under the covers and fall back to a wonderful sleep knowing I am safe and loved. This was not always the case in Egypt.

I was born in an Egyptian city called Cairo. I can’t remember who my parents were as that was so long ago. But I recall I had an owner named Anwar who lived alone in a small house just outside the city centre.

Anwar was a well-known journalist for a national newspaper. He was perpetually happy and laughing after he said his morning prayers. He would feed me and then partake of his breakfast with two cups of tea and after that, of course making sure I had a small piece of date, would clip a leash onto my collar and we would go for a walk. I pranced and swaggered being so very proud to be with Anwar. There were numerous dogs of all sizes running wild in the streets. I thought I was superior to them as I had a home, food, water and a human who hugged me, played with me and fed me. It was a sense of superiority I came to regret.

I was with Anwar for two years enjoying a happy life. We would watch a lot of television most of which was in English so that is how I learnt to speak and understand English and learnt about politics. I would sit on his lap or beside him and if I was fortunate would get my tummy rubbed. That felt so good!

So you may ask how did I get the name Reggie? Anwar frequently watched an American cartoon called “Archie” and his favourite character was called Reggie!

As I am an old dog my memory is not as good as it used to be. I learnt about cognitive decline from some documentaries I watched with Anwar. The identical deterioration happens to humans when they become older.

What I remember very clearly was that one evening there was a frantic banging on Anwar’s door with many angry voices outside shouting, “We are the army. Open your door!” Anwar opened the door and heavily armed soldiers stormed into our house. The soldiers informed him he was under arrest for sedition because of his articles in the newspaper criticizing the government. This is the last I saw of Anwar. One of the soldiers kicked me hard and shooed me out of my house shouting horrible insults to me. This soldier pointed his gun at me and said he was going to kill me like the dirty dog he thought I was but another soldier stopped him and I ran off frightened and confused.

It was the middle of the night and I had nowhere to go. There was no one to feed me and give me water and the tummy rubs that I loved.I never knew that humans could be so mean to dogs. I never hurt them. I never barked at them yet here I was all alone on the streets with many other dogs and cats. I did make a few friends with some of the smaller dogs. The big dogs sometimes growled and barked at me which frightened me.

So how did I live? I lived in the streets hiding in abandoned cardboard boxes during the night. I was close to an outdoor market and most of the time so I would go there and beg for food and occasionally I would be tossed a goat bone but most of the time the merchants would spit and say bad words to me and some tried to kick me.

My canine companions warned me that the life of an unwanted dog was frightening as police and animal control would often shoot or poison strays. Very few people cared about stray animals in Cairo and killing them was a way to control them and not to find them homes with caring masters and mistresses.

One day I was so hungry as there was no food or garbage with food in it I could eat. Inside the gates to the public market there was a guard dog who was at least five times my size. I think it was a Rottenwhiler. I was starving so I snuck under the fence and thinking the big dog was not looking I started to eat food from his bowl but before I knew what happened out of nowhere he bounded up to me and bit my leg. I ran away under the fence and as he was chained to the gate he could not catch me. But I had a big gash in my leg and was bleeding. I was hurting so very much I closed my eyes and cried like I have never cried before. This is where my journey to Canada started.

RKS 2024 Wine: A Nemea Agiorgitiko Reserva From Seméli in Greece

There is a lack of “knock out of the park” Greek red wines flowing into Canada. They are obviously out there somewhere and at this point stuck in Greece. We valiantly try again with a 2017 Nemea Agiorgitiko Reserva.

Aroma: Rigid and tight. Blackberry, black cherry, cherry pie and dark chocolate.

Palate: Very wound up and tight. What is this wine hiding from. Tannic but not ferociously so like a young Xinomavro. It needs to hit the beaches in the Aegean to chill out. Blackberry smothered by tannins so it is no go-go dancer or a brazen tourist trying to bouzouki in the less than ritzy bouzouki hangouts in Thessaloniki where they (mostly Israelis) smash plates all night on the floor.

Personality: My Athenian psychotherapist says I am just too young but will eventually shine or it just may be I don’t have it.

Food match: Absolutely and unequivocally made for consumption with food. Roz Bif at The Grand Bretagne Hotel in Athens or rooftop restaurant at the Hotel Stanley (in a bit of a rougher area of Athens) both with a spectacular view of the Parthenon!

Cellarbility: Give this wine until 2027 to be superb or to toss out. Sorry can’t read the crystal ball on this one.

Price: $ 21.95 CDN (Ontario).

RKS 2024 Wine Rating: 85/100.

(Seméli 2017 Nemea Agiorgitiko Reserva, PDO/AOP Nemea, Seméli, Koutsi, Nemea, Greece, 750 mL,14%).

Reggie The Egyptian Rescue Dog: The Final Cut

The Beginning or the End? Under the Rubble

My name is Reggie. I was originally from Egypt. My complete story will unfold as you read further and it is quite a story of a small cast off “mutt” that had a pivotal role in the course of changing world history. From a loving owner in Cairo to a ripped-up bleeding mess lying dying on the street. To Toronto then on to exciting and dangerous world adventures. I do not brag but I am the world’s most famous dog but be patient as more is to be told which has already been transcribed so whether I live or die the story will be told.

I was invited by United Nations Secretary General António Guterres to visit a place called Gaza to encourage the many children of Gaza terrified and bedraggled by a terrible battle that has left many of them bleeding and mangled on the streets like I was in Cairo years ago. António and I go back a few years ago in Portugal where he served as Prime Minster from 1995-2002. I met him in Porto when my Master Bob was knighted. Again that is another story that will be told.

I was transported in a humanitarian aid truck from Rafah in Egypt into Northern Gaza where wearing a blue United Nations bullet proof vest with a protective guard of Canadian soldiers started visiting kindergartens and primary schools where the animated movie about my life “Reggie the Egyptian Rescue Dog” was shown to the children we visited and food and basic pediatric medicine was delivered. Such fear in these children’s eyes. It was replaced with a joyous twinkle as they crowded around to pet me.

Every afternoon we returned to Egypt through the Rafah border crossing and every morning we returned to Gaza. Each time we entered a kindergarten or primary school, or what was left of them, the terror on these children’s faces worsened. I had to be deliced every night as the children that I met were covered with them.

On day 4 just after we entered a primary school the deafening and blood curdling roar of fighter jets was heard overhead and all I remember was bright lights, fire and piles of rubble crashing and flying all over. A 7-year-old girl called Nour had been petting me and as she heard the jets approaching, she grabbed me and held me close to her chest. I opened my eyes and it was night and the cold hands of Nour were wrapped tightly around me. Men were frantically shouting and some parents crying. Whether I was to live or go to The Land Beyond was out of my control.

Please read on a regular serialized basis to hear my life story or about my death.

RKS 2024 Wine: Meyer Family Vineyard’s Spelling Mistake or My Wishful Thinking? A Tomboy Chardonnay From British Columbia

As 2023 terminates it may be time to reflect on the year. From a wine perspective it certainly has been interesting. The highlight was my media trip to Porto, Säo Miguel and Pico Island with massive wine exposure in a short time. It looks as if I will be repeating that trip in February. More details to come. And the MFV corporate DC 6 has been repaired so I will be whisked to Okanagan Falls in the very near future where I will be reading tea leaves (for a substantial charge) and meeting esteemed members of  the Okanagan Falls community.

And 2023 saw 2022 Meyer Family Vineyards wines coming my way. MFV is most well known for its Chardonnay and Pinot Noir so why did I fall head over heels for their 2022 Gewurztraminer which is not only the best in Canada but the best I have had anywhere.

However, these people at MFV aren’t perfect. I think they have made a mistake on their label for the 2022 Stevens Block Chardonnay. My surname is Stephen not Stevens. You see my family of Scottish ancestry purchased land in 1899 Okanagan that included this erroneously named block. You see my great grand pappy Rufus McGonigle lost the land in a rigged card game, or so he said, and the Stephen name disappeared. No use to cry over spilt milk. But when the British Columbia Gaming Commission releases their findings on this swindle which will be no time soon as they have been ruminating on the case since 1921 the Stephen name will be restored! God willing!

Harbouring no ill will whatsoever and not even contemplating familial revenge nor tempted to rate this Chard at 49.9/100 let us try the wine.

The Stevens Block is a block in MFV’s Old Main Road Vineyard which is located on the esteemed Naramata Bench. It was whole cluster pressed which presumably would increase its tannins and grippiness which may have been reduced by the fact the first juices were used for the wine.

Aroma: Matsu apple, clementine, mango and a bit of banana.

Palate: Unlike the other MFV Chards this one has a long finish that rolls and crashes like Tofino waves. It is also grippier than the other MFV Chards reminding me somewhat of an Encruzado from the Däo in Portugal. Peach and apricot dominate.

Personality: I am a bit different than the other 2022 MFV Chards who we might call delicate ladies. Think of me as a bit of a tomboy. Just a bit rough on the edges like that talk show host Pat Burns in was on CKGL radio in Vancouver. If I called in he would say, “Hello Doll.”

Food Match: Roast Pork slow cooked in a swimming pool of sherry, honey, soy sauce, garlic and ginger over jasmine rice. Oh yeah!

Cellarbility: 542 cases of this elixir produced and drink by end of 2029.

Price: $27.04. CDN. Outside of Canada then you still may be able to fill your glass with this great Chardonnay but contact winery for shipping details.

RKS 2024 Wine Rating: 94/100.Beam me up a case of this Scotty!

(Meyer Family Vineyards 2022 Okanagan Valley Chardonnay, Naramata Bench, Stevens Block, Old Main Road Vineyard, Meyer Family Vineyards, Okanagan Falls, 750 mL, 13.5%).          

P.S. All references to “Stevens Block” are not based on real events or people living or long gone. The block has been named in homage to Janice Stevens-Meyer that lady behind Mayhem Wines. The author apologizes for any confusion, sorrow or outrage caused by his overactive imagination!

RKS 2024 Wine: Meyer Family Vineyards: Politics and Madonna and Their Private Jet at Kelowna COSTCO Tells it All!

Meyer Family Vineyards tries to get political by filling bottles with grape juice from Anarchist Mountain. I wonder if they have thought this out. An anarchist thrives in anarchy. Wineries require order and method in making their wine. How is it then MFV can support disorder. I mean if they produced Baby Duck which by today’s standard might be considered anarchy but no their wines are well ordered and so good they are in the upper class of wine and anarchists are no friends of the upper class.

To augment this confusion wasn’t it Madonna that crooned “Let’s get physical”? But MFV wants to get political. They are probably Swifties as well.

Best to avoid any debate on this. Let the hot air and politics be restricted to The House of Commons in Ottawa.

Before we all lose the point we try a MFV  2022 Anarchist Mountain Dekleva Chardonnay. And who is Dekleva anyway? I think in Penticton he was once a Trotskyist?  Anarchist Mountain Vineyard is the highest elevation vineyard in Osoyoos British Columbia at 518m. The vineyard was once home to Terry Meyer Stone and her partner Andrew Stone and yes we see the insidious connection to anarchy here as isn’t Terry Meyer Stone running Mayhem wines. Mayhem and anarchy what bed fellows!

Aroma: Apple, pear, butterscotch, cinnamon, and guava.  

Palate: Quite mellow with some mighty fierce apricot and mango demonstrating at the edge of the wine. A longer finish than previously reviewed 2022 MFV Chardonnays.

Personality: Really folks there is no anarchy in me. I am ordered as a British Columbia Social Credit card carrier.

Food Match: Grilled free range chicken breast with mango salsa.

Reading Match: The Rebel (Albert Camus).

Jazz Match: Miles Davis.

Cellarbility: Needs a bit of time to flesh out in a cool cellar as opposed to in a Hamas tunnel. Oops more politics.

Price: $32.36 CDN. Euros and Yanks contact the winery to see if they can ship to you. MFV has promised me there will not be any explosives hidden in your shipment!

RKS 2024 Wine Rating: 91/100.

(Meyer Family Vineyards 2022 Anarchist Mountain Dekleva Chardonnay, Okanagan Valley, Anarchist Mountain Vineyard, Meyer Family Vineyards, Okanagan Valley, 750 mL, 13.5%).

P.S. It is a slow night here in Toronto with a mere 6 shootings, 12 sexual assaults and 2 hit and runs so this embellished review has appeared. MFV are far from anarchists. Guess who owns that private Lear jet at the COSTCO parking lot in Kelowna…..Meyer Family Vineyards.

RKS Literature: Dreadful Engines That Make the Children Old (Dickens)

“Even the sunburnt faces of gipsy children, half naked though they be, suggest a drop of comfort. It is a pleasant thing to see that the sun has been there; to know that the air and light are on them every day; to feel that they are children, and lead children’s lives; that if their pillows be damp, it is with the dews of Heaven not with their tears: that the limbs of their girls are free, and they are not crippled by distortions; imposing an unnatural and horrible penance upon their sex; that their lives are spent, from day to day, at least amongst the waving trees, and not in the midst of dreadful engines, which make children old before they know what childhood is, and give them the exhaustion and infirmity of age, the privilege of dying.”

Charles Dickens, “Nicholas Nickleby”, 1837.

RKS Literature: The Savage Intoxication of the Moment (Dickens)

“The excitement of play, hot rooms, and glaring lights, was not calculated to allay the fever of the time. In that giddy whirl of noise and confusion, the men were delirious. Who thought of money, ruin, or the morrow, in the savage intoxication of the moment? More wine was called for, glass after glass was drained, their parched and scalding mouths were cracked with thirst. Down poured the wine like oil on blazing fire. And still the riot went on. The debauchery gained in its height; glasses were dashed upon the floor by hands that could not carry them to lips; oaths were shouted out by lips which could scarcely  form the words to vent them in; drunken losers cursed and roared, some mounted on the tables, waving bottles above their heads, and bidding defiance to the rest; some danced, some sang, some tore the cards and raved. Tumult and frenzy reigned supreme; when a noise arose that drowned all others, and two men, seizing each other by the throat, struggled into the middle of the room.”

Charles Dickens, “Nicholas Nickleby”, 1837

RKS 2024 Wine: Meyer Family Vineyards Has Benched Me!

In most sports being “benched” is indicative of poor performance or naughty manners. So when I received from Meyer Family Vineyards in British Columbia a Chardonnay from their Old Main Road Vineyard located on the Naramata Bench I raised no objection. I deserve no penalty for misconduct in reviewing MFV wines or at least they have not told me so.

The Naramata Bench is well known throughout Canada for producing high quality grapes which in the right winemaker’s hands just like Chris Carson’s at MFV can produce top quality wine. The Naramata Bench was designated in 2019 as a sub geographical indication recognized as being geographically unique in the production of wine grapes. The Old Main Road Vineyard was originally planted in 1996 with 100% Chardonnay and has a gentle northerly aspect with the soil composed of alluvial deposits making up a silt loam overlaying a clay loam.

Only the finest, purest juice from the early stages of pressing was used for the wine. Fermentation commenced in stainless steel and the must was transferred to 100% French oak (25% new) to complete fermentation. The wine was left “sur lie” for 11 months without battonage. The wine is unfined and coarsely filtered. 766 cases were made.

Aroma: Perky and bright apple and pear greet the nose accompanied by vibrant peach, apricot and pineapple with some butterscotch.

Palate: Pineapple, pear, mango with a bizarre tiny nip of bean sprouts. Moderately long finish. Discrete acidity. LEAN AND PRECISE.

Personality: Solid and steady. Could I be Miss Naramata 2024? Pardon me but I have great legs! I sprout a marvellous story if you stop and listen.

Food Match: Chop Suey assuming of course I still go by that Bonanza name? Wanting more sophistication, then scallop curry.

Cellarbility: Consume by 2028-year end.

Price: $32.36 CDN. Europeans and Yanks contact the winery for shipments to you.

RKS 2024 Wine Rating: 92/100.

(Meyer Family Vineyards Chardonnay Okanagan Valley 2022, Naramata Bench, Old Main Road Vineyard, Meyer Family Vineyards, Okanagan Falls, British Columbia, 750 mL, 13.5%).