Spoof News Services: Ebola Virus Threatens Florida: Canadian First Grader at Toronto Blue Jays Training Camp in Dunedin Florida Arrested and Deported to Guantanamo Bay: Dunedin, Florida: 18February2025

Grade one student, Amy Pickenbobber, from Guelph, Ontario was arrested at the ballpark and escorted to the “Deportee Express” Super Galaxy U.S. military cargo plane earlier this week. Pickenbobber was last observed clutching her stuffed animal “Mr. Monkey” shouting, “Mommy, the bastards are taking me!” Pickenbobber is the youngest child of Horst and Getrude PickenbobberContinue reading “Spoof News Services: Ebola Virus Threatens Florida: Canadian First Grader at Toronto Blue Jays Training Camp in Dunedin Florida Arrested and Deported to Guantanamo Bay: Dunedin, Florida: 18February2025”

Spoof News Services: The United States Bans the Sale of Canadian Maple Syrup: Washington: 17February2025

Susan Malaka Secretary of Agriculture of the United States just fresh off a 16February2025 ban of Canadian Ice-wine announced today effective immediately the criminalization of the possession of and trafficking of Canadian maple syrup. American citizens may return any Canadian maple syrup in their possession under the terms of an amnesty also announced today byContinue reading “Spoof News Services: The United States Bans the Sale of Canadian Maple Syrup: Washington: 17February2025”

Spoof News Services: United States Launches Offensive Against Canadian Ice-wine: Maple Syrup Could be Next: Lac Duvin, Quebec (16February2025)

The Secretary of Agriculture of the United States, Susan Malaka, announced that commencing immediately all sales of Canadian Ice-wine will be prohibited in the United States. Malaka announced at a meeting of Golden Age Youth in Dayton, Ohio, “Effective immediately we have resurrected Prohibition in our fight against Canadian Ice-wine. The Canadians hit our winesContinue reading “Spoof News Services: United States Launches Offensive Against Canadian Ice-wine: Maple Syrup Could be Next: Lac Duvin, Quebec (16February2025)”

Spoof News Services: United States Department of Homeland Paranoia Labels Canadian Booing of U.S. National Anthem an Act of Terrorism: Arlington, Virginia: 16February2025

Cristal “Hee Haw” Numbhead, the Secretary of the United States Department of Homeland Paranoia, said in Washington today Canadians booing the United States anthem on 15February2025 at Montreal’s Molson’s Arena at a hockey match between Canada and the United States in the Four Nations Face-Off Series amounted to an act of terrorism against the UnitedContinue reading “Spoof News Services: United States Department of Homeland Paranoia Labels Canadian Booing of U.S. National Anthem an Act of Terrorism: Arlington, Virginia: 16February2025”

Spoof News Services: Canadian Play “Come from Away” Removed from Stage as a Result of Trumpgression: Sequel Planned: Markdale, Ontario: 15February2025

Squeamish Productions of Kinmount, Ontario today announced the closure of the Canadian play “Come from Away” due to “hostile audience behavior”. “Come From Away” is the maudlin production manufactured to make suburban audiences glow with warmth. It “celebrates the joy of humanity” according to Creedy Zomberg president of Squeamish Productions. Zomberg stated, “Canadian audiences booedContinue reading “Spoof News Services: Canadian Play “Come from Away” Removed from Stage as a Result of Trumpgression: Sequel Planned: Markdale, Ontario: 15February2025”

Spoof News Services: Trump Dolls Parachuted Over the United States: Washington: 13January2025

The White House reported today thousands of Trump dolls were parachuted into “Red States” yesterday evening. A string is pulled on the doll and the following phrases can be heard, “Stolen Election”, “Make America Great Again”, “The Golden Age”, “Drill Baby Drill” and “He’s a wonderful guy. Really Wonderful! No group has claimed responsibility althoughContinue reading “Spoof News Services: Trump Dolls Parachuted Over the United States: Washington: 13January2025”

Spoof News Services: Ukraine “Conflict” to End: (Mired Lang, Florida: 12February2025)

The White House announced today the cessation of the Ukrainian Conflict. Crimea will revert to joint ownership of Russia, North Korea and Mired Lang Investments of Kushner, Michigan. The American sector of Crimea will be managed by Mired Lang Investments and will be subject to resort development. Doge Musky, president of Mired Lang Investments, expressedContinue reading “Spoof News Services: Ukraine “Conflict” to End: (Mired Lang, Florida: 12February2025)”

Spoof News Services: Ebola Virus Ground Zero in Dunedin, Florida: Toronto Blue Jay Fans Arrested as Health Terrorists: Tirana, Albania:10February2025

The Ministry of Health of Albania reported an outbreak of Ebola in Dunedin, Florida. Albanian authorities advised the White House immediately after its findings were made. As the National Institute of Health and the Centre for Disease Control were disbanded by Muskcuts after his unilateral determination there was complete rot, fraud and corruption at theseContinue reading “Spoof News Services: Ebola Virus Ground Zero in Dunedin, Florida: Toronto Blue Jay Fans Arrested as Health Terrorists: Tirana, Albania:10February2025”

Spoof News Services: White House Releases Pictures of VIP Guantanamo Bay Accommodations: Baltimore, Maryland: 9February2025

The White House released pictures today of VIP accommodations for top level guests of the Government of the United States. Canadian and Panamanian guests are currently enjoying the facilities and a US Airforce Super Galaxy C-5-M aircraft will be shortly ferrying Greenlander guests to the facility. In addition to a full range of leisure activitiesContinue reading “Spoof News Services: White House Releases Pictures of VIP Guantanamo Bay Accommodations: Baltimore, Maryland: 9February2025”

Spoof News Services: White House Announces the Manufacture of a Golden Age B-52 Automobile: Emporia, Virginia 9February2025

Beaming with pride the Vice President of the United States, Jimbo Nochance, announced a new partnership between Musk Automotive and Tesla Manufacturing will be producing a car for the people that recognizes President Oran Crapaud’s magnificent statement, “Drill Baby Drill”. Nochance added the car will be a gas guzzler like all cars were years ago.Continue reading “Spoof News Services: White House Announces the Manufacture of a Golden Age B-52 Automobile: Emporia, Virginia 9February2025”