THE ABDUCTION OF RORY DYLAN STEPHEN: LETTER TO THE EDITOR OF THE SINGAPORE TIMES FROM THE WEST HIGHLAND TERRIER WRITERS OF THE WORLD
The West Highland Terrier Writers of the World (WHTWW) is an organization headquartered in Trollop Upon Tweed in the Kingdom of England. The goal of the WHTWW is the promotion of a positive and puerile image of the West Highland Terrier (Westie).
Westies should be portrayed as fluffy, white, cute, mischievous and loving. They should be photographed as brilliant white and fluffy with adorable collars.
We take strenuous objection to the publication of your exclusive story about the abduction of Rory Dylan Stephen which portrays salacious incidents no decent Westie should participate in. Opium dens, hoodlums, land mine sniffing in Cambodia, dog fights, urinating on themselves, travelling in some tacky Top Dogs entertainment troupe, pooping intentionally where “criminals” could step in it and having their cages kicked is not the Westie puppy story ANY of our members would write about. Puppies are for children to admire and look up to…cuddly and cute not involved in some raunchy tale sodden with vice, corruption, narcotics, curried fish heads and the illegal “pushing” of chewing gum.
His writings and those of Bob and Fay’s westie Dylan the Westie virtue on scandalous such as urinating on President’s Putin’s leg, dining with the Bidens, attending rock n roll concerts with Gordon Lightfoot and Drake, starring in movies with Nicole Kidman, meeting the Pope, sitting on the Ayatollah’s lap and winning the Nobel Prize are far from childish and a Westie is to be admired by children not cavorting about with humans as intelligent and thinking animals.
We are shocked the Government of Singapore will be awarding Rory a medal of valour. Westies do not interfere with human history. They were not bred for that purpose. Certainly, they can cuddle up with their master and mistress and watch “Coronation Street” or “Paw Patrol” but attending cocktail parties with Nicole Kidman and Russel Crowe is a disgrace to all West Highland Terriers.
Norbert Sanscerveau, Trollop Upon Tweed.
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