“We all have neglected and hungry dogs in the cellar. If we make a mistake, the dogs can tear down any sense of competency we may have. If somebody gets angry at us, suddenly the dogs ae there, threatening to dismantle our world. If we feel rejected or betrayed, the dogs convince us that no one will ever love us. When fear takes over in this way, we are caught in what I call the trance of fear. As we tense in anticipation of what may go wrong, our heart and mind contract. We forget that there are people who care about us, and we forget our own ability to feel spacious and openhearted. Trapped in the trance, we experience life through the filter of fear.”
Passage of the Day: William Thackery’s “Vanity Fair”
William Thackeray (1811-1863) was at one point as popular as Charles Dickens. Vanity Fair was, as common in Britain, published in serialized format between 1847-48 and was a wickedly satirical look at the English upper classes full of louts, buffoons, fortune hunters and a crumbling aristocracy
“When men of a certain sort, ladies, are in love, though they see the hook and string, and the whole apparatus with which they are to be taken, they gorge the bait nevertheless-they must come to it-they must swallow it-and are presently struck and landed gasping.”
Trump Legacy of Hate in the United Hates of America Spills Into Attacks on Health Care Workers
The Power of the Wandering Mind: Mindfulness Turned on its Head?
If you have attended a Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction (MBSR) course you may have been introduced to the concept of the “wandering mind”. This means that the mind tends to wander from thought to thought to the extent it makes concentrated thought difficult. What the basic MBSR course tries to impart is that by you focusing on the breath you can finally feel at ease as these wandering thoughts have been repeatedly shunted aside so it is just you and your breath in the present moment.
Sounds simple doesn’t it. It takes many attempts before you can anchor yourself in your breath and simply be left as a whole human being breathing in and out. How basic but how difficult. Just shut your eyes and try to focus solely on your breath as it goes in and out. I bet you will have a bunch of wandering thoughts grabbing your attention. It is your brain multitasking to the extent you have no inner peace. Wandering minds may cause a series of negative thoughts criticizing you and clamouring for attention. This is what one might call stress as you are trying to accomplish a task but a whole series of intervening tasks and thoughts about them makes it difficult to complete the original task. Manage these wandering thoughts by focusing on your breath brings inner peace. Practitioners of mindfulness often take brief mindful pauses throughout the day where the breath is focused on. This slows down the thought process and brings greater calmness thereby reducing your stress.
I had 14 weeks of MBSR training at a local hospital where mindful meditation was practiced and taught. In addition, that that I have taken a certification course with many mindfulness meditation sessions at the University of Leiden in the Netherlands and am moving toward further mindfulness certification at the University of Toronto. There seems to be a common thread running through all three institutions particularly at the hospital MBSR training about the wandering mind and the need to recognize it but be able to shunt it aside or manage it by focusing on your breath in a mindfulness meditation. I give full kudos to this as what it is in my view is training you to focus on you in the present moment which I have said is no easy task.
So are wandering thoughts bad? If you are seeking to focus on breathing and sit firm in the present moment one may get the impression the wandering mind is bad or it is not inherently bad but something to manage particularly if the thoughts are negative thoughts about yourself i.e. I messed up again, why did I say that stupid thing at the meeting, what am I cooking for dinner tonight, why is my relationship with my daughter so screwed up or a whole litany of thoughts that can be based on fear or unworthiness. If you have the power to recognize these wandering thoughts you have the power to manage them by several tools one of the most powerful one being simply because they are thoughts does not make them true. So in many sessions you’ll hear that the wandering thoughts should be gently nudged away by breathing and being in the present moment. Isn’t the present moment that counts most?
But the wandering mind if managed can be a powerful tool of creativity and for problem solving. I recall one meditation practice I encountered was “meditating through difficulty”. In which you were encouraged to focus on your breath and control/manage discordant wandering thoughts and focus on a difficult situation you were encountering. So in fact you were absorbed by one thought in your wandering mind which was the difficulty you were encountering and devise the best strategy to deal with it. But note the concentration required to focus on one thought which in fact is very similar to simply focusing on your breath.
So at the end of the day can we say proper management of wandering thoughts can be beneficial and need not be shooed away by returning to the breath? Is my musing capable of falling within the definition of the godfather of secular mindfulness Jon Kabat-Zin “It is the awareness that emerges through paying attention on purpose in the present moment and non-judgmentally to the unfolding of experience moment by moment”. If you are meditating with difficulty, I think you can fairly fall within Kabat-Zin’s definition except that in dealing with a difficult situation one is compelled to make judgements!
Sometimes mindfulness can be so complicated yet so exciting!
Mutantism on the March: Chapter 8“Curtain Call on the Zortixian Blues”
Chapter 8 “Curtain Call on the Zortixian Blues”
Although centuries had passed on the planet Earth just over a decade had passed on Zortixia. As you may have guessed Zortixia was on a different time warp. If the Greek Gods had not bestowed immortality on Willie Montenez he would have long ago perished. Little known to Willie his father’s murderer, Albo Jiber, had managed to consolidate power including wiping out most of his initial supporters!
Opposition and even perceived or potential opposition was brutally supressed and “protection camps” were full to the rafters even though show trials eliminated many of the camp population the ever-paranoid Jiber had increasing amounts of “enemies” interned. The blackbooters raped and murdered unchecked at whim. The media was simply a mouthpiece for praise of Jiber.
Before there was no resistance left small bands of Zortixians banded into cells mounting several assassination attempts on Jiber but his blackbooters, fanatical to the end, hurled themselves over the bombs and blocked the death rays. The once timid Zortixians were risking more to banish the curse of the Opposite Party but Jiber hung on.
The lot of the Opposite Party had deteriorated throughout The Federation. In fact Zortixia remained the sole Opposite Party in power other than in Zorollia but no one ever took them seriously. As the Opposite Party crumbled so did Jiber’s fantasy of empires and great conquering armies. All that remained to be terrorized was Zortixia, a planet which he loathed. Jiber had planned to use Zortixia as his base for galactical conquest but in his weakened position there was little to advance his dreams.
Jiber was desolate, forlorn, constipated and subject to violent drinking fits of Mar-Go-Ritas. Temper tantrums were common and that usually spelt the death of hundreds. The final blow to his regime was driven home when the new provisional Anti Opposite Front holding power in The Federation imposed a trade boycott on Zortixia. Upon hearing this news Jiber locked himself in his bunker and wept for hours. A trade embargo upon Zortixia that relied heavily on imported food was going to undercut his power as when blackbooters were starving they would be heading in a very unfriendly way towards the Jiber!
When Jiber emerged from his bunker there was a strange glint in his eyes and he appeared disorientated. He spoke in a barely audible manner and stared constantly at his hands. His tantrums subsided but more died for doing less. His speeches were full of unintelligible mumbo jumbo. It was rumoured he was suffering from a certain sexually transmitted disease that eventually led to insanity. Even his personal security detail of blackbooters were growing apprehensive.
As the Jiber deteriorated cells of opposition formed the Jiber Resistance Club which unleashed attacks on Opposite Party members, those that had not disappeared. The once silenced journalists still surviving began to infiltrate the media and write sly Aesopian tracts and articles mocking the Jiber. Jiber was so preoccupied with the mounting challenges to his power that one morning he went on his daily walk without his security detail. It was a joyous day in Zortixia!
Poetry Corner “The Wandering Mind and Ceaseless Chatter in Your Brain”
The Wandering Mind and Ceaseless Chatter in Your Brain
Do you notice there is that voice in your head that never shuts up
criticizing, complaining, worrying and analyzing
then there is that mind that wanders like a bee to flowers looking for pollen?
your level of concentration has fallen
as you listen to that voice and get trapped by wandering thoughts like a dog chasing its tail?
the human mind so strong yet so frail
I’m not selling you bunk where the answer to quieten things down by mindfulness may be the Holy Grail
into more clear thinking it will sail
instead of reacting you might find yourself responding
and your mind and body may start bonding
so that you realize you are finally a whole person and feel as one
as I tell you this I know it can work
it gives you power and clarity
and for your heart and soul finally reach some parity
Is that name mindfulness intimidating?
meditation you think is for monks, ninja warriors and hippies
Well I won’t criticize you for that view
however I urge you to give it a try
its power is immense, expansive and liberating
give it a whirl
you might stop taking that anxiety pill
and if you catch on and mindfulness succeeds
your mind may no longer be caught in the weeds
Robert K. Stephen
Text of a mindfulness pause for a group leader in a major project
I would invite you to close your eyes or look ahead a few feet away from you at a particular point on the floor. Breathe in and out…in and out in the most relaxed fashion you can.
As there may be some stressful moments ahead for you in this project I am going to lead a mindful practice called “Being as One”. My goal is that at the end of this practice you will feel your body as a whole.
First of all I am inviting you to join me in this practice which I call “Being as One”. Those of us who practice mindfulness call this pause a mindfulness meditation. Now if that sounds complicated just imagine yourself taking off in an airplane to Naples. If you don’t wish to participate you can simply not participate! Some of you may think mindfulness is very complicated and very spiritual and it can be or it can be simple. I will make today’s practice simple. If you find it does nothing for you that’s fine as sometimes I may not be saying the right things. Or it could be you will need some practice.
The goal of the practice is to take a trip with your mind to a peaceful place far away from stress and worry where you can pause and observe your mind. If you want to take this trip with me. But before that take a little stretch and a few deep breaths. With each breath let go of worries and thoughts about what you are doing next. If there is any tenseness let it go. Remember this practice is for you. No one will be judging you.
So settle down in whatever position feels comfortable that leaves you feeling alert.
We are all here in this room together as a group so we are in a safe place and considering what is ahead of us perhaps in a brave space. If at anytime you feel uncomfortable you no longer have to follow my instructions.
As you sit what are you noticing about the sounds of this room. Observe them with curiosity. Get to know that they are here and part of your present moment. There is no need to judge them, just listen with curiosity.
(ideally a 30 second pause)
Continue focusing on your breath as you inhale and exhale. When you focus on your breath remember it as an anchor. You may notice you are worried or preoccupied with something. That’s OK but can you take a moment and think of nothing but your breath as it goes in and out, in and out. But I can guess all of you in this practice can focus on your breathing but have you noticed that your mind is wandering. Just watch it or listen to it wander and there may be even chatter occurring in your head. That’s perfectly normal as this is what minds do. If you find that your mind is wandering then go back to focusing on your breath: in and out in and out. Try to quiet your wandering mind by going back to the breath.
(Ideally a 30 second pause)
Now focus on your feet and relax letting the tightness escape from your body wherever it may be. Now notice your legs, your pelvic area, your stomach, your eyes and scalp, Let everything go. Relax. You are surrounded by softness as your body relaxes. Perhaps you feel so relaxed you might even want to fall asleep and that’s OK too. You are flying at 47,000 feet above and away from the ground. You are so far from your worries and cares all that is there is YOUR body and YOUR mind. Nothing else and it is all held together by your breath.
Keep breathing in and out at a speed you feel most comfortable with and if your mind wanders go back to the breath to anchor yourself in the present. Your body and breath are connecting so that your body and breath are in this room and you are so relaxed do you feel your body as one whole complete body in this room, in this building or on this planet. Yes it is you. It is simply your whole body that you are feeling and that is so liberating and thrilling if you feel it. Let’s enjoy that oneness for a moment as you are a speck in the universe so terribly far from all your thoughts of worry, fear and even anxiety.
Your trip to the oneness of your body has now ended as we touch down.
Open your eyes slowly and gently, Stretch, yawn and scratch if you need to do so. Just get your eyes and mind focused so you feel comfortable.
Thank you all. I express my gratitude to all of you and look forward to doing this practice to start our weekly meetings.
(Robert K. Stephen)
Poetry Corner: “Your Self Importance Insults Me”
Your Self Importance Insults Me
Yes we are working on the big deal as legal teams
obviously so very important as a huge revenue deal upper management deems
So it is time for our holiday meal
God forbid political correctness ring the bell as a peal if we call it a “Christmas” departmental deal
gotta be careful with the corporate bullshit global inclusion deal
Yes the orders are taken and my two colleagues are zapping away on the phones
clearly outside of any humanistic tones
You are not talking to me as the food arrives as in the phone is your snout
so devoid of respect to me in my mind you are reduced to filthy grout
This is the time to relax and celebrate
but the phone and the big deal
leaves me alone and like a pig I should morally squeal
so I have left my phone at the office purposely to relax and enjoy your company
but such is not the case
what fucking glories do you chase
Leaving me alone with you reeking with self importance
actually leaving me to choke in disgust
you are self important you are laughable in your pus
no time for desert you say
you have to rush off
when you are dead and gone
your family and I will say you are a moron
beware of being caught in what you think is a present moment
but you have missed it
the present moment is here
and you are lost
so far in the past
you can’t even remember what you ordered for our celebratory repast
Pinot Noir Battle: Canada vs. South Africa
We here in Ontario are certainly familiar with Niagara’s Flat Rock Cellars Chardonnay, Rosé, Gewurztraminer and Riesling all jolly well top end. How about their Pinot Noir? Having visited the winery within certain lockdown periods their Pinot Noir is good stuff!
So let us get the cockfight going here with a sharp clawed Flat Rock Cellars Pinot Noir in one corner. While the aroma is definitely a PN it is laid back like a hooker in the shadows of Niagara Falls not wanting to draw to much attention to the wares for sale. Given COVID on my last visit there were a whopping 50 tourists at the Falls. One rare advantage of COVID and that is having the Falls to yourself! And free parking!
As for aromas on the delicate side a bit like Joe Biden. Rather like a mature raspberry and strawberry essence. Smooth on the palate. Perfectly measured tannins and acids. A short finish. Very light and aristocratic elements of raspberry, strawberry and rhubarb pie. Moderate finish. Really discrete oak here and I suspect older French oak that refuses to interfere with the essence of Pinot Noir. Can I say restrained and bordering on elegant and a classic Niagara Pinot Noir at an affordable price?
As for a rooster in the ring a real dancer evading devastating claw slashes by its fancy footwork. Certainly not in the Gangs of New York super champion category which rarely succeeds with a Pinot Noir.
(Flat Rock Cellars 2019 Pinot Noir, VQA Niagara Peninsula, Flat Rock Cellars, Jordan, Ontario, $22.95. LCBO # 1545, 12.5%, 750 mL, Robert K. Stephen a little birdie told me so Rating 89/100).
In the other corner is a Sutherland Pinot Noir from South Africa. On the nose some mid weight raspberry and red cherry with some strawberry. On the palate a bit grippy. Dilute raspberry and cherry that just is not consistent with its attractive aroma. I am encountering this disjoint between aroma and taste more frequently in the past few years. Don’t get me wrong. This is not a crappy wine it just lacks more assertiveness on the palate. It is very drinkable but if only the palate contained more character and charisma. It definitely needs decanting for at least 45 minutes to make its claw slashes more devastating.
The label notes the wine has been aged 9 months in French oak which I suspect to be older French oak i.e. used 3 or 4 times. 15% was aged in new French oak.
It just may improve by 2022 but I would not go beyond that.
Unfortunately, not having visited South Africa a food matching might be difficult but I might suggest a match with Pasta e Ceci a recipe for which you can find here. Chickpeas with pasta a classic Roman dish!
https://www.greatitalianchefs.com/recipes/pasta-e-ceci-alla-romana-recipe
(Sutherland Pinot Noir 2018, WO Elgin, Thelema Mountain Vineyards, Helshoogte, Stellenbosch, South Africa, $19.95, Liquor Control Board of Ontario # 624924, 750 mL, 14%, Robert K. Stephen a little birdie told me so Rating 89/100).
Mindfulness as a Tool To Vanquish Hatred?
Has anyone done something so egregious to you that you ended up hating them heart and soul? Yes it has happened to me. Over 21 years ago involving an employment relationship you might say I suffered from an incident that was hurtful and possibly today I would have gone to the police and reported it. You might say it was a dirty and underhanded blow. Perhaps you or one of your good friends was severely injured when struck by an impaired driver. Maybe you loaned money to someone you thought was a good friend and they never bothered to repay it. Whatever the case hate can be nurtured by you over an unjust, immoral, criminal or any range of nefarious acts.
OK you are angry perhaps even at the boiling point. Now mindfulness may lead you to forgive and move on. But in my case the act was so hurtful and heinous 21 years later I could not forgive that evil person. My mindfulness instructors over the past couple of years surprisingly agreed with me some acts are unforgiveable and one gave me a valuable piece of advice that indeed some acts are unforgiveable but at least she said don’t let it take up any emotional real estate. A profound way of dealing with emotional pain and it reinforced my attitude of what happened to me was a past event which took me several years to not let it take up any emotional real estate. I was not obsessed with the “Bad Act” done to me but when I did think about it I was full of hatred.
Pursuing my studies of mindfulness I converged upon a certain vortex of the topics of self-compassion, vulnerability and viewing the world with an open heart that during my daily meditation somehow I was drawn to the hatred within me. Don’t ask me why but I realized I was a vulnerable person and my heart opened up to this Bad Act and with self compassion I realized in somewhat of an objective fashion I deserved a bit of self compassion. Tears started flowing and perhaps inexplicably the hate vanished in minutes. 21 years of hate vanquished in a meditation? I felt on the edge of a huge let go sob but it wasn’t really the time and place for that. That may come later. No I have not forgiven but the hatred has gone.
Whatever this vortex was it might have been the maturing of my mindfulness practice. I can explain that self compassion is nurturing the pain you may have suffered and forgiving yourself and consoling yourself for the Bad Act. As for an “open heart” I believe that that involves a connection between the brain and the heart and invokes an open investigation of the pain that the Bad Act has caused you.
Pain and hurt is often a necessary and often a healing reaction but if it persists be honest with yourself and accept that it lives within you. Perhaps it may be finally time to accept it and feel it and let it go. Get tangled up in hate without definitively dealing with it you let the hurt continue to negatively affect you. What a feast to you if the perpetrator of the Bad Act can escape the delight of hurting you! If you can escape the hatred for what has been done to you have you not scored a victory over the perpetrator?
What hatred has been vanquished from my soul vanished in a matter of minutes but it may have taken 5 years of mindfulness to make that 5 minutes possible.
I do not think forgiveness can be the next step but I am trying to work on it.
A Bird's Eye View of Fashion, Food, Travel, Culture, Beverage and Curiosity 