The Alberta Government stated the following today, “Alberta’s government has also directed Alberta Gaming, Liquor and Cannabis to suspend the purchase of U.S. alcohol and video lottery terminals (VLTs) from American companies until further notice. This will ensure Alberta and Canadian brands take priority in restaurants, bars and on retail shelves.”
Sales of American alcohol in Alberta in 2023-24 were $292,000,000.
Photo of Premier of Alberta Danielle Smith by Jeff McIntosh, Canadian Press
Early this morning the Francesinhas Liberation Front (FLF) and the Confrairia Proud Boys (CPB) took responsibility for the vandalization of three McDonald’s and 4 Burger King restaurants in Porto and the burning of three Tesla’s parked near these establishments.
All these restaurants are part of American fast-food chains operating in Portugal.
The CPB placed piles of toenail clippings outside each restaurant while the FLF pasted huge posters of Francesinhas on windows of these fine dining establishments stating “Eat Portuguese”.
As Fidel Castro and Che Guevara and their band of revolutionaries hid in the Sierra Madre Mountains of Cuba it is thought the FLF and CPB cadres are hiding out in the Douro Highlands.
The Francesinha is a meat packed monster of a sandwich served in beer gravy that has been simmering for hours. The FLF has been upset for years about the “invasion of imperialist carnivoristic forces threatening our national sandwich”.
The CBP are Douro Port Wine enthusiasts enraged by the statement made on 4March2025 by the United States Secretary of Poor Health Kennedy Bobblehead claiming foot trodding of grapes in lagares creates toenail contaminated wine.
The Porto Constabulary is unavailable for comment and to some sources appeared to be at Francesinha bistros laughing and rather enjoying themselves with Francesinhas and litres of Sagres Beer.
Formal statements from the Portuguese government, Porto Vegetarian League and the Sardine Eatery Association of Portugal are expected shortly.
Getting sick and tired of the Trump Confusion show? And you thought Sleepy Joe was losing it? Tired of that rich overly fruity Washington State (or for that matter Washington D.C.) then think Ontario Merlot. You won’t have to think of Howard Outoflucknik when you consume it as its tariff free.
Aroma: Hints of a “tight Merlot” in that fruit is not gushing over the olfactory senses like a certain White House Press Secretary. Most American Merlot (of which we will steadfastly avoid until Trump departs or we become the 51st state) exhibit more fruit on the brain like Moron Tusk wielding a chain saw. Consider the black cherry, blueberry and cassis its friendship and full warmth not restrained by tariff threats lending a foul and bitter taste when taken seriously but this is Niagara Merlot folks good enough for Governor Trudeau to serve at his inauguration dinner where Tusk will be carving the roast beast with a gold plated chainsaw while balancing one of his 61 children on his shoulders.
Palate: Clearly a muscle Merlot disciplined and firm like the Canadian population fighting the cork taint morality of MAGA legions. Black cherry and firm tannins.
Personality: I am a wine with great integrity and backbone like a certain Canadian politician who showed it a little bit late in the game.
Food Match: A good old Canadian Pot Roast made with a good cut of beef trump roast.
Cellarbility: Perhaps keep in a cool damp cellar keeping company with thousands of imprisoned election stealers in the United States or captured Greenlander politicians.
Price: $32 CDN.
RKS 2025 CANADIAN Wine Rating: 91/100. Natalie MacLean 90.
(Sue-Ann Staff 2018 Mountain Bell Merlot, VQA Niagara Peninsula, Sue-Ann Staff Winery, St. Catharines, Ontario, 750 mL,12.5%).
Dr. Andrew Furey the Premier of Newfoundland and Labrador made the following statement on 4March2025: “Now, more than ever, we should be supporting local and Canadian-made products where possible. We will be removing U.S. products from Newfoundland and Labrador Liquor Corporation shelves, and reviewing and stopping immediately, where possible, procurement from the U.S.”
March 4, 2025 – TORONTO – As part of Ontario’s response strategy to U.S. tariffs, the government of Ontario has directed LCBO to take operational steps to implement restrictions on all U.S. beverage alcohol sales and related imports into Ontario, effective immediately.
LCBO has ceased the purchase of all U.S. products, retail customers are no longer able to purchase U.S. products on lcbo.com and the LCBO app, and wholesale customers, including grocery and convenience stores, bars, restaurants, and other retailers, are no longer able to place orders of U.S. products online.
Furthermore, spirits, wine, cider, beer, ready-to-drink coolers/cocktails, and non-alcoholic products produced in the U.S. will no longer be available in our retail stores or LCBO Convenience Outlets.
Our in-store teams can help customers find alternative products from our extensive selection of products from Ontario, Canada, and around the world.
LCBO is the importer of record for all U.S. alcohol products into Ontario, with annual sales of up to $965 million. We currently list more than 3,600 products from 35 U.S. states. U.S. products will not be purchased by LCBO until the LCBO is directed to resume normal business.
As previously stated by New Brunswick Premier Susan Holt on 3March2025 it was confirmed today by the Premier no American liquor will be stocked on NB Liquor shelves.
The Liquor Control Board of Ontario is busily removing all American alcohol from its shelves.
As announced today by Manitoba Premier Wab Kinew effective immediately in response to President Donald Trump’s tariffs the Manitoba government has issued a directive to stop the sale of American alcohol products at Manitoba liquor marts and no further American alcohol will be ordered.
By executive order, as opposed to the legislative process, President Trump’s tariffs on all Canadian goods entering the United States will be 25% and 10% on oil and gas products.
In a statement today the Premier of British Columbia David Eby announced his government’s response to President Donald Trump’s 25% tariff on all Canadian goods entering the United States with the exception of oil and gas products which will be subject to a 10% tariff.
This is a partial ban only applying to “red sate” liquor i.e. Those states that awarded electoral college votes to Trump in the last election.
Premier Eby stated, “We didn’t ask for this fight the president has brought to Canada and to British Columbia. I’ll tell you this — we’re not going to shrink from it.
Effective immediately, BC Liquor Stores will be pulling all red-state liquor products off the shelf and will not order any more.”
On 4March2025 Nova Scotia Premier Tim Houston announced effective immediately that the government will direct the Nova Scotia Liquor Corp to remove all alcohol from the United States from their shelves stating that the first time this was done it was considered an effective response and hurt American producers who rely on Canadian markets. There are more than 400 products involved including beer, wine and spirits. These products represent 7% of the NSLC’s number of alcohol listings.
The action of the Government of Nova Scotia is a result of Trumpian Tariffs imposing a 25% tariff on all Canadian goods entering the United States with the exception for oil and gas products which will be subject to a 10% tariff.
Premier Houston remarked, “Donald Trump is a short sighted man who wields his power just for the sake of it, not having any consideration for the destructive impact of his decisions on both Canadians and Americans.”
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