Spoof has received several complaints from Canadians, Danes, Greenlanders and Mexicans about late night infomercials hawking “Melania’s Melatonin”.
The First Lady is seen beaming waving the American flag explaining there are huge amounts of stress in the world particularly in Greenland, Denmark, Canada and Mexico because of the dismal failure of so many to believe the Golden Age which not only applies to the United States but the entire world. In bible thumping fashion Melania Trump waves the American flag and shouts, “BELIEVE!”
The International Supplement Regulatory Authority based in Moose Jaw, Saskatchewan warns consumers to be aware of this supplement that is crossing borders in mass quantities and causing severe diarrhea sickening thousands. In addition to a miniscule amount of melatonin in the capsules there are traces of North Korean ginger and Kentucky corn syrup.
Prime Minister Justin Trudeau of Canada admonished President Trump threatening a complete boycott of American iceberg lettuce until the Canada United States border was shored up to stop the flow ravaging Canada and sickening thousands. “Get your Blackhawks and National Guard out there, not to invade us, but to stop this plague. There are thousands of people soiling themselves all over the world because of this poison.”
Spoof has learnt in total six bottles of Melania’s Melatonin entered Canada in the last three days. Mr. Trudeau vowed to heighten his anti-melatonism rhetoric until Canada was free of this vicious supplement and if this is not done Vermont will become a Canadian province.
Greenland added to the furor by halting all shipments of whale blubber to the United States a crippling blow to American fast-food restaurants for fast frying so much fast food. A 436% American tariff on Canadian canola oil has made fast frying in the United States unaffordable. The substitute pork lard is not being received well by American consumers.’
White House Photo by Regine Mahaux.
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