RKS 2024 Wine: Agiorgitiko Greek Supermarket Champion

When travelling in Europe I usually visit supermarkets for various items particularly bottled water. Supermarket prices for cheese in Paris would reduce you to tears with just how inexpensive French cheese can be. Almost like a staple whereas here in Canada it is a luxury. I always look at wine prices too and in Portugal you’ll see a large selection of Portuguese wines with super cheap prices at least 60% less than you would pay in Canada.

On a recent trip to Thessaloniki, Greece I checked out supermarket prices for wine and in general they are cheaper than in Canada but not by a substantial amount. Selection is far less than you would see on supermarket shelves in Toronto. In the Greek supermarket in Thessaloniki, you’ll see mostly Agiorgitiko for the reds and Malagousia for the whites. In both Thessaloniki and Toronto supermarkets there is no shortage of trash lowest common denominator wines.

Back in Toronto I see Agiorgitiko from Monemvasia Winery at the LCBO (state liquor monopoly) by the name of La-Du-Di. No oak in the wine.

Aroma: Assertive notes of blackberry, cassis and black cherry. A bit of dark chocolate on the edges.

Palate: Tannins on the light moderate scale. An almost creamy texture thick with black fruit. Acids are well integrated and noticeable for those with a keen palate but they are not immediately threatening nor should they gain in intensity with more time in the bottle. A full-bodied red.

Personality: I am a proud Greek Agiorgitiko and taste me and you will know I am not afraid to speak my mind. You might even find me bold but I will leave an impression.

Food Match:  Roasted leg lamb au jus served with orzo and grilled artichokes.

Cellarbility: Consume by 2025-year end.

Price: $22 CDN. 9.2 Euros.

RKS 2024 Wine Rating: 90/100.

(Tsimbidi La-Lu-Di Agiorgitiko 2022, PGI Peloponnese, Monemvasia Winery, Aggelona, Greece, 750 mL.13%).

The Penniless Pensioner: Misaligned, Maligned but Marvelous (The Final Version): Chapter 4: My Displeasure with Wuhan Wet Market Publishing and Why the Term “Penniless Pensioner”

Excuse me for interrupting the flow of this modern disjunctivist autobiography but my publisher Wuhan Wet Market Publishing (WWMP) insists, and they have the contractual right to do so, that I not delve into significant details as to my name “Penniless Pensioner” in the early parts of the autobiography. My view dear reader is that you should know so I now have permission to impart some basic details only. Quite frankly I do not know how I have been saddled with this name.

It is my “collaborator” and friend Robert K. Stephen who created my name and given that I am not a pensioner nor am I, at least at this moment, penniless I had to pick his brain for how he derived this cockamamie name!

OK you’ll find out later that I worked as counsel (one amongst many) for Bernie Madoff. I will remind you that I cleaned up a few “questionable situations” for him but only when the chips fell where they did was it apparent to me these situations were questionable. Sort of like Robert Duval playing the role of consigliere in “The Godfather”. There are no horseheads in my bed I assure you. And listen to me carefully no charges against me “stuck” and neither was I disbarred! Legally (and perhaps morally) I did nothing inappropriate.

However Robert K. Stephen in his wine reviews needed a figure or concept to write about his low cost wines and he created me in innocence and good fun as a fictional character but somehow it took off and I am saddled with the name. I have to swallow the lumps with my gravy and the gravy is this book and a tentative movie bearing the name “Penniless Pensioner” which will if it goes ahead star John Travolta red hot off his last film “Paradise City” agrees to play me.

Mr. Stephen says in his mind “Penniless Pensioner” was a logical choice since Bernie Madoff (Not Bernie Saunders) supposedly fleeced pensioners but if they were pensioners they were filthy rich so a loss of a few hundred thousand hardly made them penniless. Yet the moniker “Penniless Pensioner” has a certain cache, doesn’t it? I will suffer the humiliation thank you Mr. Stephen for that but my financial return will be great! If Mr. Stephen was not my friend I would sue his ass off! Yes he has a 50% cut on the sales of my autobiography and the film should it be made. I suppose a shark needs a remora.

OK back to the story and all this crap about the bambino I once was.

RKS 2024 Film: “The Gutter”: Full of Stereotypes and Lacking Originality

Walt (Shameik Moore), a man with few social or business skills, finds employment as general help at the dilapidated Alleycatz Bowling Alley. There he meets Skunk (Darcy Carden) on a bar stool a former female pro bowler and now a voracious consumer of beer, preferably warm for breakfast.

A city building inspector gives bowling alley owner Moselle (Jackée Harry) 60 days to bring Alleycatz up to code at an estimated cost of $200,000. Skunk notices bowling novice Walt is a crack bowler and the plan is to have him with Skunk, as his manager, win the requisite $200,000 in bowling contests to avoid the closure of Alleycatz.

Walt rises to the occasion crawling from the bottom of the bowling ranks winning successive tournaments. And what a delightful cast of characters one encounters on the way some original but most of the stereotyped genre in both black and white culture. Racists are easily spotted including the gregarious and obnoxious sportscaster Angelo (Paul Reiser).

The final match of the season is between Walt and the recent out of retirement record breaker professional bowler Linda (“The Crusher”) Curzon (Susan Sarandon). Win or lose Walt is a beacon for black bowlers and the black community. Will Alleycatz be saved?

Walt imparts a streak of WrestleMania into the staid world of bowling with bizarre costuming and antics. Could this be the future of bowling?

The plot lacks originality and is somewhat guttural. It takes skill to portray stereotypes however and that skill is in “The Gutter”.

The acting is fine with Paul Reiser as the excessively obnoxious sportscaster Angelo is a true delight. Jackée Harry as Moselle radiates warmth and genuine personality free of stereotypes. Susan Sarandon plays the role of obnoxious and self-obsessed pro bowler without a mean edge necessary for an evil character.

Directed by Isiah Lester and Yassir Lester.

You can see the trailer here https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qogk2Sa3luU

Theatrical release commences 6December2024.

RKS 2024 Film Rating 71/100.

RKS 2024 Film: “Standing on the Shoulders of Kitties”: Trailer Park Boys Head Over the Pond

Bubbles’ (Mike Smith) new band “Bubbles and the Shitrockers” graduates to a provincial tour of veteran’s halls performing to handfuls of patrons in barrooms that also function as bingo halls. The Shitrockers unimpressive playlist of country-trucker music fails to generate a fan base. Then a big break playing for 100 inmates at a maximum-security penitentiary initially angering the audience with limpid country songs sending them into a massive diss when Bubbles sings a song about cats, his obsession. For the safety of the Shitrockers he quickly transitions to his somewhat infamous song about liquored up whores sparking a riot captured on video and it goes viral resulting in an invitation to be the back up band for Billy Bob Thornton’s band, The Boxmasters, on a European tour.

The Shitrockers perform in Prague, Amsterdam, Berlin, Liverpool and Glasgow. Pot bellied Randy (Patrick Roach) acting as Randy the Roadie aggravates Billy Bob’s iron fisted manager Mayhue (Tom Mayhue) to the extent he throws them off the tour in Liverpool. Bubbles’ habit of urinating on himself when he is excited and pooping in his pants on stage were the last straws. Bubbles empties his bank account to return his band to Canada and is stranded in London with Randy who disappears to raise money in a prostitutial manner for the return trip home. Bubbles successfully pleads with Julien (John Paul Tremblay)and Ricky (Rob Wells) to rescue him in London which they do. Julian clasping his rum and coke in the streets of London and Ricky harassing passerby’s for hash. Sunnyvale mannerisms run deep and loud!

Billy Bob apologizes to Bubbles for Mayhue’s tossing the Shitrockers from the tour and Bubbles, Julian, Ricky and Randy party upon the invite of Billy Bob at London’s Abbey Road Studios where Bubbles has the possibility of Billboard fame surrounded and aided by rock in rollers such as Ron Woods and Eric Burdon ending perhaps a bit sarcastically in a “Give Peace a Chance” moment.

Canadian beloved Sunnyvale Trailer Park lumpen proletarians deliver more than a few guffaws with outrageous oddball characters and unlimited antics which we became accustomed to way back so what a great event to see them again embarrassing themselves and lampooning the morality of those that criticize them. Suitable bathroom humour for 13-year-olds but admit it; it is sometimes comforting to roll back the clock and be 13 again.

Trailer Park Boys fans are accustomed to their antics. Newbies may in for a delightful shock.

Directed by Charlie Lightening.

You can see the trailer here https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y_gC1kI_zH8

Theatrical release 6December2024.

RKS 2024 Film Rating 84/100.

RKS 2024 Wine:  L’Étoile a Miniscule Appellation in France’s Jura

A mere 75 acres are in the L’Étoile appellation. We try a Chardonnay from L’Étoile from La Maison du Vigneron.

Aroma: Baked apple, pear, butterscotch, apricot and honey. Notes of tiring oak that has outstayed it welcome.

Palate: Makes a statement of being a unique Chardonnay. Discrete acidity. Burly yet retaining some creaminess. Full bodied without being rough. Butterscotch, vanilla and pear tartine. Moderately long finish.

Personality: I am mature and a bit beyond my prime heading towards the Grape City Senior Residence.

Food Match: King Wah Pork Roast from the famous King Wah Restaurant across the street from Montreal’s Henri-Bourassa Metro station a rare Friday night treat in my McGill University days. Pork Loin Roast covered cooking in honey, garlic, soy sauce and a good measure of Sherry served over Jasmine Rice. Was it in dinner for two or three? Haute cuisine!

Price: $27 CDN 13.50 Euros.

Cellarbility: Drink now. In the midst of decline.

RKS 2024 Wine Rating: 81/100. Wine Align 89.

(L’Étoile 2020 Chardonnay, AOP L’Étoile, La Maison Vigneron, Hauteroche, France, 750 mL, 13%).

RKS 2024 Film: “Moon Under Water” (Short): Dementia and the Dance of Agonized Oppression

Jack (Tom Heyes) minds his dementia ridden uncle, Glenn (Lalor Roddy) who had taken Jack in after the death of his mother. The tables are turned as it is Jack’s choice to mind Glenn.

It is a grind of a job and Jack’s dancing which opens the short is one of pain and oppression almost as if his violent and extreme movements will drive out his sense of isolation.

His trip to the pub with Glenn is a disaster as in the moment taken to chat up Zoe (Chelsea O’Connor) whom he hasn’t seen since leaving school, Glenn sparks a fight outside the pub while pestering a patron, unaware of Glenn’s dementia) for a cigarette. Jack headbutts the patron who was slapping Glenn about and returns home with him.

At home after the pub incident Zoe shoves a note through the mail slot asking Jack to call her. Can Jack ever enter a relationship with Zoe? Perhaps his dance at the close of the film answers your question.

You can watch the dance style of Tom Heyes in Pearl City’s music video for the song “Down by the Tree” here https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=esDXQf9v4KU

Directed and written by Grandmas and feel free to watch this short here  https://vimeo.com/channels/bestofstaffpicks/954430734

RKS 2024 Film Rating 92/100.

RKS 2024 Film: “Guzzle Buddies” (Short): Symbiotic Misery

The short opens with one roommate guzzling a full glass of liquor then helping his roommate suffering from severe anxiety and panic attacks he attributes to being sparked by a “cold brew”. His roommate uses a variety of techniques to calm his anxiety ridden roommate.

The rescuing roommate over a bottle of liquor, he refers to as “one of the best chemistry shifters known to man” admits he may have a drinking problem. His roommate suggests it may be time for rehab but as both are “tanked” and lose themselves in an inane discussion about how the alcohol has affected their ability to drive confusing themselves how far each is capable of driving seem unable to decide how to get to rehab. The two roommates are guzzle buddies in arms suffering from debilitating conditions.

A Guzzle Buddy is a wine glass without a stem you attach to a wine bottle to enable guzzling of the wine.

The buddies are played by Lewis Pullman and Kyle Chase.

Directed by Michael Rees.

RKS 2024 Film Rating 86/100.

This short is a Vimeo staff pick and you can watch it here https://vimeo.com/channels/staffpicks/1010054668

The Penniless Pensioner: Misaligned, Maligned but Marvellous (Final Version): Chapter 3: Juanita Wallabong’s Farewell Tour

When I was 14 years old my mother Juanita no longer wanted to give live performances as the anxiety that afflicted her was overwhelming even with those “Mother’s Little Helpers” otherwise known as Xanax and the live performances only encouraged her to continue guzzling gin “to take the edge off”.

Despite her live performance anxiety, she thought her fans deserved a final opportunity to watch one last performance on the stage on the condition I accompany her for her final tour after the end of my school term at King’s School for Young Men concluded in mid May. Juanita was concerned with my insular upbringing in the lap of wealth and British colonialism and firmly believed my exposure to the world would open my eyes and rid me of my “provincialism”.

So 65 performances were arranged in North America and Europe with three in Japan and two in China. Juanita was not a superstar as her genre “Bombay Blues” was not fully appreciated commercially. So the venues would be smaller theatres and concert halls instead of in arenas and big open fields. Her audience was an older set.

This was exciting for me escaping Bombay into the big wide world. Her record company Mumbai Marvellous had chartered a small jet from Sobranj Airlines to take her on the farewell tour. We kicked off the tour with a performance in San Francisco. Super cool with the Golden Gate Bridge, Haight Ashbury, Fisherman’s Wharf and Alcatraz. I really enjoyed our day trip to Napa Valley especially our private tasting at Biale Vineyards where we had Black Chicken Zinfandel. During prohibition when temperance laden America enacted Prohibition Biale Vineyards did sell wine to those customers knocking on the door wanted some “black chickens” for their dinner. Black chicken was the code name for bottles of wine. Alcatraz was awesome. Haight Ashbury and its dope smoking hippies and free sex was an eye opener. My dad, Paneer Gurdeep, could have made a fortune selling dope to these upper middle class hippie types. And the Vietnam War added a dose of reality to the apparent Frisco frivolity.

The real fanfare for my mother in the United Sates was at the Grand Ole Opry in Nashville which she sold out for two performances. There are a plenitude of Holy Shrines in India and as far as country music and the blues the Grand Ole Opry was a shrine! Behind the stage we met a rather fat, puffy and inebriated man called Elvis Parsley I think his name was.

There was Sioux City, Denver, Detroit, New York, Toronto, Wa Wa, Winnipeg and Cornwall to name a few of our stops. I saw the world and developed a love for hamburgers, milkshakes, Kraft Dinner, Moose Meat, popcorn, apples and ample pornography on hotel room channels. A young man’s dreams coming true.

Europe was less gregarious than North America especially in France where Mom was warmly received as “India’s Billie Holiday”. One night in Paris a famous blue’s musician B.B. King insisted he play a couple of sets with Juanita. I love French cuisine with its heavy sauces but boy the French ignore vegetables! A nation of constipation I am sure.

My ignorant little eyes were opened discovering a world outside Bombay. It made me cognizant of differing cultures, attitudes, foods and taste in music. I had the time of my life. I had matured in a jiffy.

The Penniless Pensioner: Misaligned, Maligned but Marvellous: The Final Version: Chapter Two: Growing Up

Perhaps hypnosis or magic mushroom guided tour could revive my memory of my early years. As I am not presently afflicted with multiple psychiatric difficulties perhaps those early years were fine. I am told by my mother and father I relished playing in the dirt alone with my dinky toys. I could play for hours undisturbed. In addition to a passion for dinky toys apparently, I had an equal passion for toast and jam which I consumed in our Bombay home with copious quantities of cold milk purchased at the British Officer’s Club. Juanita being Welsh had been reluctantly admitted as a member to that club perhaps because she was a regular performer at their Friday night “Limey Bash” wing ding.

The formative event of my childhood if not my life was the untimely death of my father Paneer Gurdeep. When hosting a delegation of South African mining executives at his goldmine on a tour of the main mine shaft a South African visitor lit up his cigarette and the flame mixed with some coal gas resulting in a deadly explosion killing all the South Africans and my father. My sentence as an innocent victim was to foray into life without any father figure. My father had amassed quite a fortune and after my mother Juanita sold the gold mine we were set up for a life of luxury. My father had said if anything ever happened to him it was his wish I go to a British school where they would make a man out of me. Obviously he had never read “Lord of the Flies”.

At the age of 10 I attended the “King’s School for Young Men” an exclusive boy’s school in the British quarter of Bombay. Being half Indian was better than fully Indian thought the school administration. The students all sons of wealthy British “colonialists” and poorer military types called me a “Dirtiy Mixie” and made my life miserable for a time. The teachers were British veterans of WWII mostly suffering from post traumatic stress disorder unable to cope with life let alone teach young men. All of us were beaten and abused in the old British private school tradition. Of course in Canada there has been a big explosion of dirt and scandal about the residential school system for aboriginal children. We did not have nuns and priests making our life miserable just mentally scarred war veterans. It was bad. Real bad. I suppose after the Brits were tired of needling and bullying me they focused their abuse on Punja, the son of a lowly Hungarian tailor. I sort of fit in class status wise but was never accepted and included but rather ignored. I stayed at King’s School for Young Men until I was ready to attend university but there was one event that changed my life and gave me a totally new perspective on life.

RKS 2024 Film: “Shadow Brother Sunday” (Short): Monetary Desperation, Jealousy and Brotherly Love

Have you ever had that miserable feeling wondering about the trajectory of where your life was headed feeling like a failure and walked into a joyous family situation? Did you feel like crawling under the carpet?

Cole (Alden Ehrenreich) is a struggling musician down on his luck living out of his car. His brother Jacob (Nick Robinson) as a director is about to attend the premiere of his first movie amidst extensive press coverage. Cole and family assemble at his parent’s house to a welcome party for the returning success story Jacob.

Cole has received an offer to download contents of his brother’s computer for sleaze journalistic purposes making him some $80,000 richer.

After piking Jacob’s laptop Cole notices a draft letter in its files addressed to him describing an earlier time when brotherly connections were strong and Jacob so badly needed his support. Would have Cole sold the download had not there been a tapping on his car window?

One facet of a short film is it has less time to deliver its message and in “Shadow Brother Sunday” a strong and powerful delivery is made.

Writer and director is Alden Ehrenreich.

RKS 2024 Film Rating 93/100.

You can watch this Vimeo staff pick here https://vimeo.com/channels/staffpicks/1031759283