RKS Wine: Washington State’s Cosentino Cigar Cabernet Sauvignon 2016

For $19.95 a good Cabernet Sauvignon from California is a rarity or at least what the Liquor Control Board of Ontario (LCBO) buyers put on the shelf. However of late Washington can deliver at that price. For the LCBO California is a sacred cash cow and Washington State must seem terrifying to LCBO bean counters lest consumers run off in terror!

The Cosentino Cigar Cabernet Sauvignon 2016 possesses that Washington warmness on the nose. There is plum, black cherry, blueberry with a touch of mocha. Speaking of a touch that is not the case with the alcohol level at 14.5% which rudely shunts aside some of the fruit. I am not a fan of Port wine power in a red table wine. Thankfully the alcohol does not fuzz out the fruit on the palate. The palate presents a smooth wine with moderated tannins and no alcohol fuelled burn. An intricate foundation of blueberry pie filling seems to be hiding deep in the foundations of the wine. In summation a good wine but its high alcohol obfuscates (but does not eliminate) that Washington charm I have encountered lately in Washington State wines. From where comes this charm? I’m working on that but I think it is a very skillful use of oak with top quality grapes. Would suit grilled beef, lamb and portobello burgers.

(Cigar Cabernet Sauvignon Columbia Valley 2016, Cosentino Winery, Richland, Washington, $19.95, Liquor Control Board of Ontario # 698142, 14.5%, 750 mL, RKS Wine Rating 89/100).

On the Ledge Part 5: Jumping off the Ledge: Becoming a Capitalist Wine Toady: Our Lolita Label

I haven’t received any pay cheques from East Berlin in three months. My contacts at the Interior Ministry say there is no Western currency left in the state coffers. They say you are on your own! I have given my life to the East German state and all those bureaucrats can think about is saving their own hide as demonstrations against the government increases and the state apparatus is afraid of crushing resistance fearing a backlash. So I am jumping off the ledge in the capitalist abyss. I want to make money. I am a professional spy and stoolie but I doubt the Royal Canadian Mounted Police want me as a spy. I could be a double agent but as the East German state will be disappearing there is nothing to be a double agent for.

Perhaps in wine there is salvation. There is no money to be made by 99.9% of wine writers in Canada. So I had an idea and approached some investors including the Penniless Pensioner. He loved the idea I had and he needed to launder some dirty Panamanian money so we formed” Lolita Wine Services”. Our first piece of business was to have Lolita sell wines by the case throughout Canada. We created our own label and brought cheap Spanish and Algerian wine by the container and bottled it ourselves under the Lolita label. We bought at 45 cents a litre and sold it at $9.99. We had “trusted” wine writers give it inflated reviews. We had a huge hit with “Confusion” a cheap Argentinian Malbec which was really Algerian plonk we added a bit of brown sugar too. We loved our corruption and the profit it brought. Next step to become a wine rating boiler room where we could charge to review wines impartially of course. A 90-wine rating for any wine is the Willy Wonka ticket to mass sales.

“Travels to a Different Time ” : 28August1990: Cancun, Mexico: Oh no it is Montezuma’s!

There is no joking about the “revenge” in Montezuma’s! Morning started with a bit of the runs that quickly transformed into waterfalls. Ok been there before so not so bad then for 6 hours waves of stomach cramps. The pain was so bad I had to stay in bed. At noon I thought a swim might help so made it down to the pool but the bright sunshine turned everything into a white haze. Next were severe chills and fatigue followed by vomit attacks. My diet was water to avoid dehydration as any liquid I ingested was quickly spewed out. The thought of any food with onions and tomato sauce was unthinkable. May I never see Mexican food again! By midnight all that was left was sheer exhaustion and why don’t we say “wet gas”. I asked for a 06:30 wake up call for Saturday as we head back to Toronto. As in true Mexican fashion it never happened. Thank dear God I made it home without any resurgence of the revenge. What did me in? I played by the rules and still got dinged. Was it that damn beef and onions in tomato sauce?

“Travels to a Different Time” : 27August1990: Cancun, Mexico: Beef in Onion and Tomato Sauce For Breakfast, Lewd Jokes and a Seafood Restaurant Out of Seafood!

Filled up buffet plate with a wild combo of beef in onion and tomato sauce, guava, fried bananas, pastries and bacon. Weird combo but delicious and no Montezuma yet. Off on the tequila cruise as a better and safer boat than the public boat that looks as if will sink halfway there. Being stuffed with a jolly Mexican breakfast did not partake of the party boat breakfast. Isla Mujeres was stinking hot with no shade so stayed in the water hoping not to get too fried. The trip home was full of the usual shenanigans with beefcake Yanks swilling beer from baby bottles making many lewd comparisons. A horribly bad rock n roll band but the Yanks were having a rip-roaring good time and this time, unlike last year, none of them passed out. But then again they were drinking tequila from baby bottles last year. For dinner off to El Pirata which was a quiet little seafood restaurant which was out of seafood except for shrimp and octopus ceviche both which were delicious. Drinks were on the house as a way of apologizing for no fish. A strange dessert on the street was delicious pistachio ice cream covered in chocolate.

On the Ledge Part Four: I Became a Wine Writer and Possibly a Capitalist Toady One!

The Canadian German Friendship League was a bust as far as I was concerned. It was a joke attracting street people and ruffian freeloaders who were powerless lumpenproletarian scum. We Reds love proletarians but not anything below that.

So with the blessing of my superiors I was sent to obtain a Doctorate in Wine from the Karl Marx University in Dresden. I was then sent back to Toronto to become a wine writer. With my flawless English I fit in quite nicely in the Canadian wine writing community. So many of the writers were toadies to the capitalist wineries receiving cases of samples and charging the wineries to review their wines and they labelled themselves as impartial. Capitalist wine writers have no morals unlike me steeled against corruption! It was more important to me to understand the exploitation of migrant workers from Mexico, Jamaica, Thailand and other third world countries that work in vineyards than swill wine and accept bribes. As I wrote about the exploitation of the international proletarian workers I made a few enemies amongst the wine writing establishment with their lackey mentality and lack of critical judgment. But there was a core of disillusioned consumers who saw beyond their corrupt wine writers.

Being a wine writer was a perfect cover for my mission. Meet a lot of people. Attend tasting events. Eat lots of food at other’s expense and never being taken seriously. But what was my mission? It was becoming very unclear. It was as if headquarters didn’t know themselves. The East German population really wanted no part of communism and were becoming more vocal with their discontent. The economy was in shambles and East Germans were selling their blood to the sate who then resold it to West Germany as they were desperate for Western currency. My paycheques were taking longer to arrive to the point the weren’t coming at all. My goodness would I now have to work for a living? Would I become a capitalist toady wine writer?

“Travels to a Different Time” : 26August1990: Cancun, Mexico: The Chef with a Tomato Sauce Obsession

Looks like the Mexican Hotel Shuffle has concluded which was a new room with a huge balcony and great view of the ocean. 4 huge windows and even a refrigerator. I have a feeling this is a time share unit. I have travelled this far and I simply must have an ocean view! As an added bonus you can see the pelicans flying over the ocean.

Buffet breakfast. Custom made omelettes made in front of you too. There is an abundance of fresh fruit including papaya and pineapple. I stay away from the watermelon as it not uncommon for farmers to inject water into a watermelon as when sold by weight it increases the weight. The last thing you want is Montezuma’s Revenge! Enough food and variety at the buffet to keep a hungry man happy. The hot dishes are usually in tomato sauce and onions. I don’t think Mexicans eat tomato sauce as this chef might have us believe. But as sauced up as some of these dishes are the chef knows how to cook!

“Travels to a Different Time” : 25August1990: Cancun, Mexico: The Mexican Hotel Room Shuffle

Back to Cancun yet again. Unbelievably cheap deals can be blamed. This time on a brand-new Canada 3000 plane but it lacked the ambiance of suburbanites excitedly guzzling cocktails and dreaming of Margaritas. Not a bad breakfast of mushroom omelette and potatoes with a hot buttered croissant. Read the Globe & Mail from front to back. There was a lineup at immigration but we were processed quickly. Of on the bus to the hotel called the Tucan Cancun Beach Club. Yet another room fit for a dupe with a view of a construction site. Down to the reception to complain with a promise to remedy the situation tomorrow. I escalated to the Manager and ended up in a big room with an ocean view. Well the ceiling was missing some panels and the bathroom had water dripping near some electrical wires. Again this was taken up the Manager again and yet another promise to remedy again. The Cancun Hotel Shuffle! The hotel, aside from the aggravation of the hotel room shuffle is on a beautiful sandy beach with turquoise waters. Off to good old Blackbeard’s for a delicious red snapper.

RKS Wine: Ontario’s Venerated Le Clos Jordanne: Jordan Village Chardonnay 2019:Pekaboo Time

I sense Ontario’s Le Clos Jordanne (LCJ) is making somewhat of a comeback perhaps now that winemaker Thomas Bachelder is back in the saddle after an absence from Clos Jordanne for several years. He rejoined Le Clos Jordanne in 2019 for the 2107 vintage. LCJ started in 2010 to great fanfare but closed shop in 2016.

How does LCJ Jordan Village Chardonnay 2019 weigh in? On the nose I give it points for not being so easily and immediately recognized as a Chardonnay. Give it a few swirls and the base of that familiar Chardonnay sets in. I mean before you stick your nose deep in the glass it just might remind you of a Viognier. There are definitely toasty qualities on the nose but they are buried deep in the wine not like a flimsy oaked Chardonnay. Ample pear, honey, pineapple, tangerine and mango. Almost tropical. As for the palate indicating some complexity breaking down the components of the palate are not immediately recognizable. What initially seems dilute takes a moment to beguile with a degree of complexity with well ensconced pineapple, Flemish pear and lemon meringue pie. The finish is initially short but give it a moment it swells into a long but subtly long finish. This wine deserves to sit until 2024 in the bottle and then to be consumed by the end of 2027. A thinking man’s Chardonnay yet like a child loves to play peekaboo.

(Le Clos Jordanne Jordan Village Chardonnay 2019, VQA Niagara Peninsula, $24.95, Liquor Control Board of Ontario #20455, 13%, RKS Wine Rating 92/100).

“Travels to a Different Time” : September 1989: Some of Cancun’s Restaurants

Many of the restaurants I ate in were very rustic similar to those in Sosua in the Dominican Republic. Aside from a pooparama incident caused I think by that turkey in black bean sauce at Los Almendros Restaurant thank goodness no Montezuma’s Revenge. Los Almendros was the most interesting with its emphasis on Mayan dishes and it was not 10% gringo like most of the other restaurants. Very strange and exotic dishes for the North American palate but authentic. I loved the black and white tiled floor and the lack of tourist hype. The dark Mayan beer was a break from the light and fizzy mainstream Mexican beer. The snack truck across the street could be counted on to deliver good burritos made with ham, cheese, onions and tomatoes. Blackbirds at Tulum gets a high rating for food but it was relatively expensive. They had a live band with limited numbers. Two waiters in a bull costume terrorized patrons and they had complimentary tequila poppers. Yes pizza cuisine abounds in Cancun with great pizzas at Don Armandos and Pizza Rolandi. For timid Americans there is a Pizza Hut. Actually their pizza was a definite cut above their North American pizza.