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Golf and Your Mental Game: That Voice in Your Head That Never Shuts Up

Do you hear that voice in your head that is often judging, nagging, criticizing or analyzing? Can you silence this voice at least momentarily? Indeed you can and its through meditation where by practice you realize that voice is nothing but a barbarian at the gate and you are left in a rare moment of tranquility where all you have is your breathing and an awareness of your entire body. Your mind welcomes such a break.

But we can’t meditate ourselves out of the world unless of course you are a Buddhist monk.

What voice is shadowing your mind on the golf course?

There is the self-critic ready to start chattering and dissing you with that not-so-great shot. How long it chatters may be up to you. I tend to ignore it and it shuts up! It tortures you if you let it. I should have laid up. I should have gone for the green. I should have clubbed own by one. I should have realized I had a bad angle and shot under the branches instead of trying to go over them.

Then there is the backward coach which instead of coaching us how to improve our game incessantly tells us what we can’t do. Don’t go over the water and lay up. It prevents us from challenging ourselves and experimenting with our game and leaves us in a sameness rut. Go ahead an occasion challenge that backward coach.

And there is the hungry voice that tells us we need something but really we only want something. With want there is more choice than needing. The needy voice has a tendency to have you always asking for more. Yes you must go for the green!

Then there is the voice that tends to see danger and threats everywhere almost always over the top. Don’t use a three iron lightly to go under the branches as it can’t work so go over the trees. This voice is almost guaranteed to ruin your game.

Remember that voice chattering away in your noggin tries to have you believe what it is saying is a fact but in reality it may be nothing more than a thought. Many thoughts are completely untrue or partially true.

Remember you are the golfer so recognize the different voices then make a choice whether to heed them or not instead of being ruled by them. You are on the course now and you have the power to be satisfied with your game without those voices.

I will leave you with an example. I had a second shot on the 6^th hole. I have been in the same position a few times and I have not managed to get the loft to go over the trees but hit them and dropped. So I decided a couple of times to try and go low under the branches. On the second try a hard blast that just nicked the lower branches and dropped. That critical voice began nagging me about poor club selection and the stupidity of trying to challenge the trees. But the shot was brilliant and it was only a matter of inches that prevented to shot from being on the green. I ignored the voice and yes I was happy with the shot and my strategy in making it. An errant shot need not always put you in the doghouse. I told that voice to shut up and it did. In defeat there can be dignity! I coached hockey for 7 years and our team won four championships. But one year we had staged a massive comeback of 4 goals in the third period of a championship game to tie it with 30 seconds left. We lost the game in overtime which I thought would be devastating but those kids taught me a lesson about defeat. They were sky high with delight and accomplishment with such an astonishing comeback. The locker room was joyous. In defeat there can be joy. The result on your scorecard may be not what you wished but the journey to that score may be joyous. You conquered some very difficult holes but screwed up on all the par threes. Take the good and surf with it.

You are dealing with strategy and risk on just about every shot you make on a golf course. Do you want that voice putting additional pressure on you? You have been playing golf for years many of you so trust your experience over your voices. For newer golfers you are trying to “find your game”. On occasion that voice may be truly coaching you but more often than not it can be playing on your insecurity and lack of confidence.

Reggie the Egyptian Rescue Dog Is Back: Off to North Korea!

After we wake up and have our bowl of kibble and a half cup of jasmine tea in our water bowl Bob takes us dogs aside and says we have a call with President Joe Biden at 2 p.m. What is going on?

At 2 p.m. we have a virtual meeting with President Joe Biden and his new German Sheppard puppy Commander.

Joe talks with Bob and mentions he would like to send Dylan the Westie and I to North Korea on a “friendship tour”. We are not to act as spies. We are to contact their leader Kim Jong Un and tour the country and meet North Koreans. We are apolitical ambassadors from the West and North Korea has allowed my two Disney movies to be shown to the public and they love the film. Bob will take a message to Kim from Joe saying please welcome Reggie and Dylan the Westie who wish to discover the glorious republic of North Korea and establish a friendship base that we political leaders can build upon.

We arrive in North Korea on our private jet and Bob, Fay, Dylan the Westie and I step off the plane and there is a band playing the Canadian national anthem and children throwing flowers on our path to a huge Russian Zil Limousine. North Korean politicos shake Bob and Fay’s hand vigorously and nod and bob like we are old friends.

We are whisked to our hotel and have a huge suite. Bob says we are being watched so I feel uncomfortable especially since North Korea’s famine has resulted in bourgeois dogs being rounded up and used for food!

We eat a delicious meal at a restaurant with some dignitaries. No expense has been prepared and Bob and Fay feel a bit guilty considering that media in the west has been reporting a terrible famine in North Korea. At least we dogs are not on the menu!

We have a restless sleep on our gift beds which have a hammer and sickle on them. Back to the days of Stalin?

We spend the day with a guide seeing the sites of Pyongyang and are back at our hotel named “Hotel of Our Glorious Leader” at 5. A variety of cocktails are served by waiters in white outfits with white gloves. Bob and Fay have showers and at 7 the Zil arrives again for our trip to the Palace of Our Glorious Leader where we will have dinner with the glorious leader Kim.

We are welcomed like long lost brothers and Dylan the Westie and I are taken to Kim with Bob and Fay being barred by soldiers with bayonets.

So it is us dogs with what many think is a crazed leader. Kim welcomes us with a chicken treat. He says come my friends and we jump on his lap. He strokes our heads and says in perfect English that we are welcome in his country and he wants us to meet its people. He sees the message from Joe on my collar and reads it and laughs. He seems to be in agreement with it. Before we leave he says, not thinking I can understand him, that he welcomes us and the people of North Korea must meet us.

I have seen many news articles and documentaries about Kim that he is a bloodthirsty tyrant but who is this man?

We have a private dinner with Kim and his sister and the talk is of Canadian football and Canadian wine. We noticed that there are wines from Meyer Family Vineyards from British Columbia. Bob brought several mincemeat pies from Toronto which Kim counters with Kentucky Rye Whisky! Kim asks shyly if he can be invited to the next Canadian Grey Cup championship football game.

There must have been twenty courses served. We dogs get rice and “Great Revolution” chopped chicken! YUM! WE DOGS LOVE CHICKEN!

With good spirits and bloated bellies, we retire to a private screening room to watch “A Dog Saved My Life”. With Bob and Kim smoking Cohiba Cuban cigars and drinking Japanese single malt whisky we are one happy family. Is there something wrong with this picture?

Reggie the Egyptian Rescue Dog is Back: It’s a Wrap!

Reggie the Egyptian Rescue Dog is Back: It’s a Wrap!

Four months after we arrived in Darwin we have finished shooting “A Dog Saved My Life”. I worked almost every day and enjoyed every minute of it although Nicole Kidman made sure I was hydrated as she said this Australian sun can suck the life out of you. I admire the dedication of Nicole as through thick and thin she motored on without showing a bit of fatigue. And we were working 12 hours a day in the heat. I made a few mistakes and never a harsh word from Nicole rather an encouraging statement that she knew I could do better. Nicole is an inspiration for all humans and dogs!

The film goes into postproduction over the next month so Nicole suggested in case of a reshoot I may have to return but she thought that would be unlikely. Bob and Fay had their walk on scene which was a 30 second argument before Alice and her third abusive husband entered the restaurant. Their cameo went well with only one shoot. Dylan the Westie also had a cameo but I forgot what it was about! Sorry! Bosco stayed with us for the entire shoot as Mr. Gordon Lightfoot’s tour kept extending itself and he’s finishing off recording an album in South Korea and he’ll be heading off home to Toronto soon after we arrive there. Mr. Gordon Lightfoot is now experiencing stardom like he has never seen it before. He is over 80 and barrelling along like he never had that aneurysm in 2002 and stroke onstage in 2006. His song for the film “Paco A Girl’s Best Friend” was number 1 on the Billboard charts for 12 weeks! For the South Korean album both Nicole and I are on the album cover!

The film will preview in Sydney in April then in Los Angeles in May. We have been invited to the screening and all sorts of parties. Stars and celebrities will be as thick as thieves. Nicole has insisted we stay with her and Keith in Los Angeles for as long as we like. That is going to work out well as Bob wants to play golf in Palm Springs and Fay wants to go to Joshua Tree National Park there. Bob knows a fantastic Mexican restaurant there. Fay wants to go shopping.

After a few hugs and tears Nicole waves goodbye and we are off to Darwin Airport to our private jet to take us home. We stop for refuelling at Sydney and then in Honolulu where we stay the night so the pilots can get some rest. We had a swim on the beach and went out for dinner by the beach so Dylan the Westie and I could be with Bob and Fay. I don’t remember much being so tired so Dylan the Westie and I slept under the table. Bob and Fay enjoyed their Hawaiian dinner.

In the morning up in the air again refreshed. So much so Dylan the Westie and I chase the ball down the aisle on the jet. We stop for refuelling at an airport in Scottsdale, Arizona and in five hours we are at the airport in Toronto and home before we know it.

Bob orders some pizza a “Sherman Special” with artichokes, sundried tomatoes and chicken. As a treat we dogs get a big chunk. Such rich tomato sauce. Not as good as Fay’s but pretty tasty. Now I don’t want to be gross but the Bridle Path is our hood and as Dylan the Westie and I have been away for 5 months there is a lot of pee-mail to mail and check. But it is winter here in Toronto and so cold. Dylan the Westie and I have our “A Girl’s Best Friend” t-shirts on but it is so darn cold here in Toronto we skedaddle back home real quick. Bob watches the news with us dogs and puts us to bed. I noticed in the corner we sleep in just off the kitchen Bob has added an autographed picture of Nicole Kidman. We already have pictures of the King of Sweden, Mr. Gordon Lightfoot, Joe and Jill Biden, the Pope and the Ayatollah. Bob tells me tomorrow Joe Biden wants me to do him a very secret favour. I’d do a lot to help Joe and Jill as they are not the President and the First Lady. They are Joe and Jill and if you call him “Sleepy Joe” to my face I just might nip your ankle. Oh to sleep in my wonderful Winnipeg Jets doggie bed!

Golf and Your Mental Game: Golf Can Be Like Being Caught in a Traffic Jam!

Yes we have all been caught in a traffic jam. It can be a hopeless and frustrating situation as you can’t control the traffic flow. Again it is along the lines of react vs. respond. I realized this a few years ago returning home after a long week at work. How could I have chosen to return home along Church Street on a Friday before the Gay Pride Parade when the parade would be rolling down Church Street! It’s going to take me two hours extra to get back home! How stupid could I be! What a bad choice! Then my newly minted mindfulness training got hold of me and I realized I was reacting over something I had no control over. Perhaps I should just let unpleasant moments be what they are, unpleasant moments-no less no more. Isn’t it better to respond than smearing negative reactions all over you? By responding you realize you are caught in a bad situation then respond by thinking if you can escape that situation. Luckily I became creative and knowing the area well took a detour that landed me 20 minutes away from my destination but in the end beat the time I would have been stuck in traffic.

So, golf is a bit like being caught in a traffic jam as getting too caught up in a bad shot or a bad game and reacting to it accomplishes little but more suffering. It could be your skill level is what it is and you are caught up in the traffic jam of golf. Can you escape it by changing your technicals or do you simply stew in your negativity. I suppose that is your choice!

Golf and Your Mental Game: Reacting vs. Responding

In an earlier chapter we talked about the wounded hunter who gets grazed by an arrow and is dealing with his pain but adds on a string of self-criticisms that augments the hunter’s suffering.

Perhaps the golfer and the wounded hunter might want to look at the story as the difference between reacting and responding.

The golfer with a bad shot and lacking mental training may burn up with anger and frustration blaming all sorts of factors on the bad shot rather than focusing on the bad shot and perhaps calmly try and determine what to do to avoid it happening again. The golfer carries on this suffering for the next hole, a few holes and even to the next golf game.

Often it is a case of a reaction that we simply can’t avoid. You are set for scoring an eagle on a par 5. You have had a tremendous drive and a second fairway wood shot that place you 25 yards from the green. You just may make an eagle with a good chip but a birdie for sure. Your chip shot slices into the water and suddenly you are looking at a double bogey. What golfer wouldn’t be upset but if you replay the situation over and over and beating yourself up for the bad shot your reactions are making the situation far worse.

Wouldn’t it be better to strip out these negative reactions that may have been with you for perhaps your entire golfing experience? Or is it better to unhook and disentangling yourself and mentally opening up a space where you can open up and choose how to respond to that horrific shot.

Perhaps admit the shot was a bad one and calmly analyze what happened without a stream of self loathing. Perhaps it was your stance? Was it a wrong club selection? Was it the pressure of going for a possible eagle and an unmissable birdie? Deal with it quickly and walk away with a lesson learnt or simply accept it as a bad shot and move on with a clear mind to the next shot.

What I have said here is not easy. It takes practice and discipline and subject to an occasional collapse but are you on the golf course for a wonderful day or to make yourself suffer?

Golf is a game of crushing defeats, ecstasy and adequate if mundane consistency.

RKS Wines: To Canadians (and the world) There is More Than Icewine!

To many Canadians the ultimate “dessert wine” might be Icewine from Niagara. It is awfully good but correspondingly expensive.

Muscat vines in Samos: Photo Robert K. Stephen

There are alternatives at a more friendly price point that are not “copies” of Icewine but similar on the “sweet scale” and cheaper.

For example, there are the legendary sweet white wines from the Northern Aegean Greek Island of Samos that have been famous for several hundred years but mention them to Canadians and they will have glassy eyes. Samos Vin Doux for 750 mL sells for $15.95 and Moscatel de Setúbal from Portugal for 750 mL sells for $14.95.

How about the Moscatel de Setúbal which is vintage dated 2017 whilst the Samos Vin Doux is not vintage dated?

The Setúbal is a golden brown with orange tinges. Its nose is loaded with apricot, honey, marmalade and a whisper of banana. Rich and decadent. On the palate full of amber honey and jam packed with apricot. A short finish. Not over the top heavy and at 17% you will feel no alcohol heat. Perfectly constructed but mention a Portuguese sweet wine and the dazed and confused look will radiate like a Led Zeppelin song of the same name.

Interesting what you might pair this with. It might suit a pasteis de nates Portuguese egg custard tart or a flan. Yet it might suit a starter cheese plate of semi soft cheeses with nuts and Niagara Greaves peach jam, honey or marmalade.

An incredible find and an alternative to Icewine.

This isn’t no cheap and cheerful wine. Actually it is quite a masterpiece.

(Bacalhôa Moscatel de Setúbal D.O. 2017, Bacalhôa, Azeitao, Portugal, $14.95, Liquor Control Board of Ontario # 996181, 750 mL, 17%, Robert K. Stephen A Little Birdie Told Me So Rating 94/100).

For the final wine of 2021 a Samos Vin Doux famous for hundreds of years but in a world full of sweet wines it has dropped off the radar as a star wine for many people. Rather a shame considering the Vin Doux’s price and quality!

If has a classic golden colour. On the nose deep aromatics of peach, apricot, marmalade and honey. On the palate you are getting exactly the same that presents itself on the palate. Very smooth with a short finish. This would suit baklava and a myriad of Greek desserts including the famous yogurt cake of Meteora which is toped with toasted almonds and honey. From my knowledge of this wine it is very popular with those of Greek descent although is really deserves to bust out to a wider audience.

(Samos Vin Doux, Sweet White Wine (Non-Vintage), Kourtaki, Markopoulo, Greece, $, 15.95, Liquor Control Board of Ontario # 938407, 750 mL, 15%, Robert K. Stephen A Little Birdie Told Me So Rating 89/100).

Golf and Your Mental Game: Observe

So you have a great shot on the 18^th. On a par 4 your first shot is at the edge of the cart path. A great pitch over the creek three feet from the pin. Or perhaps your second shot hit the pin and dropped in for an eagle. Boy you are IN THE MOMENT enjoying yourself. You have got the right stuff! STOP and observe your mind. It is focused on the moment which you can savour. Are you really thinking about anything else other than joy of a great shot and being in the present moment? Think about it. You are not ruminating about all the bad shots you previously executed. The next time that great shot happens, and we know it will, take a moment and OBSERVE how your mind is working.

Now assume that second shot is a flub and despite being 40 yards from the green you chunk it and its in the creek. Or you have overdone it and it sails over the flag into a sand trap behind the green. If you proceed mindfully yes you made a bad shot but observe your tendency to mix up that bad shot with a series of bad shots for the round. Shots that are in the past but your mind may latch onto that bad shot before and create a negative chain. You are out of the moment and judging yourself not only on that bad shot but a series of bad shots. You leave the course in a bad and perhaps angry mood. How many bad shots end up by the golfer throwing a club into the creek! But if you and your past shot just stay in the moment you have only one bad memory to deal with which is better than linking it to a chain of bad memories. And if you want to leave the course saying you did your best and enjoyed the scenery and conversation best to leave the bad memories behind.

So what approach makes you feel better? Observe and find out! And act upon it the next time you are teeing up on the first!

Golf and Your Mental Game: Take Time to Calm Down and Relax

If you have just made a bad shot resist the self-destructive abuse you may heap on yourself. Why not calm down and relax. Take a deep breath and keep doing so until you are under control. Don’t let your emotions take control of you. On many holes this year I was on the verge of losing it with rough shots that were chunked but I took the time to step back and analyze these chunk shots out of the rough were a bad part of my game. If you think calmly you might say it is not me. Why does this always happen? I started using a rescue club out of the rough particularly in wet rough where a club can dig in even if you are a scooper. My game improved upon this simple reflection which if I had discovered 20 years ago would have improved my golf game but being so busy with self criticism, I never had the time to calm down and analyze which by the way is more natural when walking than carting.

Reggie the Egyptian Rescue Dog Is Back: Cast and Crew Party for “A Dog Saved My Life”

Outside our villa by the pool is where the cast and crew party will be held. The menu will be steak, chicken, rabbit and saltwater crocodile filets. Dylan the Westie, Bosco and I think we will score some meat! “We Dogs Love Meat!”. There are salads, lots of vegetables and Australian desserts one with a strange name “Impossible Pie”. There are many hot appetizers too.

Before the party 6 cases of Malivoire Wine arrive. 3 of Niagara Gamay and 3 of Niagara Chardonnay. It would be apparent that Martin Malivoire, the special effects guy for the film is behind this.

So the guests arrive rather quickly at 7 and there is lots of Tasmanian sparkling wine flowing.

Wait a minute! Do I see Mel Gibson coming through the door? His “Mad Max” film put Australian film on the world’s radar. Both Dylan the Westie and I love the rawness and stark reality of that film. In our film Mr. Gibson is playing Percival Digger, Alice’s third husband who smacked her around. Us dogs run over to Mr. Gibson and we give him a gentle bark. He compliments Dylan the Westie’s and my Hamilton Tiger Cats jerseys we are showing off. As Dylan the Westie and I are in the film he wishes us to “break a leg”!

Boy Nicole is a beautiful woman and she is wearing a nice dress and has make up on and she looks like a real movie star. I get a bit queasy thinking I’ll be her co-star. Can I do it?

As the barbeques are heating up Nicole Kidman asks for attention and says, “Please Welcome Canada’s Gordon Lightfoot”. Mr. Gordon Lightfoot performs “Sundown”, “Carefree Highway” and “Early Morning Rain” to wild applause. He will be doing a 5 date Australian tour in a couple of days with shows in Perth, Sydney, Hobart, Brisbane and Melbourne and Bosco will be staying with us during his tour.

Big clouds of aromatic smoke drift over our heads. Us dogs are getting a special meal of chopped steak, crocodile filet, green beans, mashed potatoes and carrots. No chicken kibble tonight!

I am meeting so many interesting people many of whom have seen the two Disney films about me. The party wraps at 11 as the crew wants their beauty sleep! Dylan the Westie had fallen asleep under the dessert table. Nicole and Fay take us for a walk. Bob has another piece of Impossible Pie with a “stickie” wine from Eradus winery in New Zealand. He is in deep discussion with Mr. Gibson about the brilliance of “Mad Max”.

By the time we return from our walk the caterers are packing up. I give increasingly focused attention these days about the dog bite in Cairo that sent me to the animal hospital. It was no coincidence as it is why I am in Darwin now having the time of my life. Allah, Buddha or God works in mysterious ways.

Man the Rat Pack is back! Bosco, Dylan the Westie and I are sleeping in the same room! I immediately crash out in my Winnipeg Blue Bombers doggie bed dreaming of giving the performance of my life with Nicole Kidman! I think my eyes are wide shut!

Golf And Your Mental Game: Stop!

Ok so you messed up on yet another shot and that is what we amateur golfers do otherwise we’d be on the LPGA or PGA Tour. You can fly off the handle and let forth a stream of foul language which has the effect of igniting a downward spiral of negativity. I say just accept you are an amateur and your fate is many a crappy shot. So if you are about to explode why not take a breath and STOP. Do not react. Just freeze to prevent what your emotions want you to do which is to act without thinking. Try to be the boss of your emotions. Put another way just accept that shitty shot because there is a gremlin feasting on your anger and frustration. That shot is so yesterday and do you want to be haunted on the golf course by a bad shot?