RKS Wine: The Penniless Pensioner and a Certain Lesbian/Bisexual Problem

We have been following the Penniless Pensioner over the past few months. His financial reserves and lifestyle were decimated by the failed criminal Bernie Madoff litigation. So when he told me about his engagement to Celine Serpent I received a boost to my bottom line by inking a nice wine consulting contract from Serpent for the engagement party but it was PP that was required to pay the bar tab so I had to go cheap. The engagement party was a roaring success and Serpent was delighted with my wine selection.

But my friends a couple of Panamanian bank accounts of PP have been “unfrozen” so there might be some more possibilities to upshift in wine for a wedding reception.

However PP contacted me in a panic with a slightly slurred voice as he admitted to having consumed a half bottle of Johnny Walker Red Label scotch. No blame on him as he told me a shocking story! He truly loves Serpent despite the fact she is a Plus size at 240 pounds.

I noticed at his engagement party there were so many ladies but few men! PP says it might have been all the Texas Tito vodka Serpent had with the oyster course or the 12 glasses of Tawny Port she had with dessert. The bottom line is that she admitted she was “formerly “a lesbian that had since undergone “conversion therapy” so she has “progressed” to becoming bisexual.

PP is freaked out. As an old school guy lesbianism and bisexuality are naughty deviant words. He said to me that he has no beefs against such people but to marry one is a different story.

I am not a psychiatrist but need my wine consulting contract to consummate with a marriage! About the only thing I can say is he should sleep off the Red Label and go to bed so we can talk in the morning.

The poor man is blubbering away and I just must hang up after wishing him the best.

“Reggie the Egyptian Rescue Dog ” : Reggie, Bosco and Dillie the Westie Groove at Drake’s Album Release Party

All us dogs, Bob and Fay are looking forward to Drake’s big barbeque at his home in the Bridle Path in a very exclusive part of Toronto. Unfortunately it is also where the Shermans were murdered! Honey and Barry Sherman pharma billionaires that must have made enemies.

Bob had downloaded a bunch of Drake’s songs and really none of us dogs and Bob can’t stand his music with its nasal whining that gives sensitive dogs with precision hearing a headache! Fay thinks Drake is the best. Hey but dogs getting invited to a BBQ means MEAT POSSIBILITIES!

Not to boast but because the Disney Film “Reggie the Egyptian Rescue Dog” all of us are celebrities except Bosco but he is part of the family so he is invited.

So we dress up, casually of course with Bob and Fay in Armani and Boss and us pooches just bathed by Bob and smelling pretty. Even stinky Bosco smells half decent!

We walk for a few minutes and pass through a security detail. Bob parts with his Glock but with such heavy security we all feel safe. Bosco as a new addition to the family really has no clue about how famous we all are.

Drake meets us and I was expecting to see some man with heavy gold chains and floppy clothes like in his music videos. But he is dressed in jeans and a flashy jacket. And he is a shy guy. He picks me and Dillie up like he is specially greeting animal stars. He asks his posse to give each of us 24 karat gold water bowls with our name engraved on them. They are filled with my favourite Evian water. We are the only dogs here! Drake introduces us while he is holding Dillie and I to so and so. Some are musicians, artists and actors. Some are huge basketball players. I can’t say I like Drake’s music but as a human he is gracious, respectful and humble.

And my goodness there is a classical music trio from Toronto Consort playing some medieval music from a man called Monteverdi! This Drake plays tough but he is ultra cool. He is serving all sorts of drinks including a favourite of his which is frozen honeydew melon, mint, lime juice, Evian water and Ouzo. Actually Bob and Fay had introduced this drink to Drake who loved it. The guests loved it so much the Ouzo ran out so they are drinking some Champagne in a golden coloured bottle. “Kristal”?

Gordon Lightfoot is there as well and he takes a liking to Bosco. Perhaps if he knew how Bosco stinks he might not be so friendly! Bosco seems to have found a long-lost friend in Gordon Lightfoot.

There is much noise and happy people. Many are black and I have not seen many of these types of people but they are like Bob and Fay and we dogs don’t discriminate.

There are a few lambs and pigs roasting over a spit and dinner is announced. There are huge mounds of meat, polenta, salad, grits with shrimp and loads of other food. Guests are given a Limoges China plate and they hit the buffet. There are great wines from Campania in Italy and the Okanagan in British Columbia.

Drake asks Bob if it is OK if we canines can have some meat. YES!!!!! We can. Just a bit of pork and lamb with some grits and shrimp. Kick me. Am I in paradise?

We gobble up this very special tasting meat and almost stagger over to Gordon Lightfoot and crash out with exhaustion and a full belly at his feet. Man, this Drake knows how to throw a party.

We are prodded awake by Bob who says it is time to go home which is down the street. Before we go Drake says he would like to take us to a basketball game of a team called the Toronto Raptors where we will be guests of honour on national television!

Drake has Bob’s Glock returned to him and has his security detail walk us home. Gordon Lightfoot asks us if he can have Bosco overnight and Bob and Fay agree. What’s up?

Despite the fact I do not like Drake’s music he is a good soul and is our friend now. Bob and Fay have asked him over for dinner next week.

We are home as the sun rises and  we crash out with our 24 karat gold water bowls Drake has given us! What a night. I am too tired to say my nighttime prayers. But before I nod off I think I see Anwar smiling at me and saying “Bravo Reggie!”

“Too Soon: Comedy After 9/11”

Of course, your first reaction to the terrorist bombings of the Twin Towers in New York may be where were you at that instant and then an increasing disbelief at the horrific and deadly attack that claimed close to 3,000 lives and many more due to toxic fumes that felled many first responders many years after the attack. Toronto office buildings were evacuated. I remember having an unsettled lunch at a tony restaurant in the Royal Bank Plaza and an alarm sounded and diners headed out. Crowds were in the streets looking for Canadian office buildings to be attacked. The news that night presented an apocalypse starting in New York and spreading throughout North America. The terrorists accomplished their mission but backfiring making anti Muslim sentiment a rising tide in North America that continues until today. Was the attack a success or a never-ending curse on the Muslim population in North America?

The film is a complicated and compact view of the fate of comedy after 9/11 featuring late night television hosts and mostly American comedians. Comedy immediately after 9/11 was walking on eggshells but comedy and life in the American spirit exhibited defiance to an attack that threatened the American way of life. It could be saying a healing period was needed but Americans are not cowed by attackers looking for paradise with 97 virgins….a rich ground for initial recovery comics to pursue.

Several comedians fell prey for reacting with comedic barbs too soon after 9/11 but given time and the Iraq War more lampooning emerged that deviated from 9/11 and focused on terrorism and the Iraq War and gave comedians the space they needed to dance around social issues with a connection to 9/11 but delicately respecting the loss of life.

When is it too soon to laugh after 9/11 is under the comedic microscope and it is very dense, thick and introspective.

It is not solely a film about comedy after 9/11 but the role of comedy and society, As they say in comedy that timing is key. The film makes that abundantly clear, “Too Soon: Comedy After 9/11 Comedy” really is a film that expands beyond its title and explores the role of comedy in society.

The documentary premiered on September 8th on Vice TV.  One hopes it will expand its presence throughout the globe. 

You can catch the trailer here     https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1mDA_14uwqTR_PL9OTQkn1Y-Foou3Pi-S

The film was directed by Nick Fituri Scown and Julie Seabaugh.

RKS Wine: The Tears of Christ (Lacryma Christi)

I can’t think of many wines that have differing legends about them. I have heard a few in Naples on my last visit there and that is when Lucifer fell from heaven Christ was sad and cried tears that landed on the slopes of Mount Vesuvius producing miraculous wines. Lacryma Christi is from the Campanian region of Italy and is primarily made from the white grapes Di Volpe and Verdeca and the red grapes Piedirosso (red chicken feet) and Aglianico. While in Naples I have had Lacryma Christi that was some of the smoothest red wine I have encountered. It is a perfect foil for the pizza of Naples a very unique style of pizza that may leave you saying I must return to Naples for more.

That pizza of Naples : Photo Robert Kennedy Stephen

We get so very little of Lacryma Christi here in Ontario it is a special occasion when it does arrive but did the Liquor Control Board of Ontario buyers buy the best on the market?

We try a 2018 Lacryma Christi from Terredora Dipaolo. On the nose smokey red cherry, blackberry, smoked meat and the air of the slopes of Vesuvius.  Very mellow tannins initially but they stiffen up a bit if the wine decants. A very tight and guarded cherry core with red plum. This is a very lean Lacryma Christi which might open up a bit more and evolve to something more charming. But today is today and I feel the Liquor Control Board of Ontario buyers could have done better. This is a decent wine but I have had better.

(Lacryma Christi 2018 del Vesuvio Rosso DOC, Terredora A Dipaolo, Montefusco, Italy, $24.95, Liquor Control Board of Ontario, 750 mL, 12.5%, Robert K. Stephen A Little Birdie Told Me So Rating 88/100)

“Giddy Stratospheres” A Joyous Self-Destructive Romp into 2007 London

“Giddy Stratospheres” is a high energy romp into the post punk music scene in London. Yes initially it is a joyous and high energy jump into the post punk music scene in 2007 London. Happy people. Great music and high energy. But reality sets in and perhaps all this energy is fueled by excessive drug use. While in the 1970’s there may have been cannabis and hashish and a bit of mescaline and cocaine this London is awash with all types of powerful snortables that decimate and numb.

The joy and exuberance quickly disintegrate into self destructive and dangerous behaviour. Drugs overtake the music and characters seem to slip closer into self destruction to a great soundtrack but the warning bells ring loudly and clearly.

Lara is into the music scene with her friend Daniel but a blowout night leaves Laura heading to her grandmother’s English countryside funeral. She can’t remember what happened the previous night after snorting all manner of drugs. In fact she is so out of it she is hallucinating her friend Daniel is going with her to the funeral. But Daniel is dead.

At the funeral her relatives are eccentric as Lara is but it is genuine eccentricity as opposed to one fuelled by drugs. She stays with her mother and father who are as eccentric as Lara but not stoned out. Lara seems to detox at her parent’s home and her artistic talents emerge and culminate in an art show of her works.

So the film is a gentle reminder of the destructive path of drug abuse entwined in the club scene. Nothing new for Geezers like me who have seen so many succumb to heroin and even laughing gas. But perhaps a perpetual warning without a Reefer Madness finger wagging in an exaggerated manner.

The film makes its point if indeed drug abuse is its point? A non didactic film like “Trainspotting” but it certainly makes its message clear.

Gloomy and depressing cinematography is as brilliant as the soundtrack. Laura Jean Marsh as Lara is brilliant and captivating and the screenplay gently conveys the message that sex, drugs and rock and roll are not particularly good for your health. Marsh also wrote and directed the film leaving me the impression that she has lived what the film portrays. The film has aromas of Johnny Rotten and the Sex Pistols and “Drugstore Cowboy”.

Highly entertaining and will keep you guessing what reality is and what is hallucination and fantasy. It is a shame its daring and creativity will never take it into the mainstream. This is why I only watch indie films.

This Brit film is 67 minutes and will be released on digital platforms on September 14th. You can see the trailer here https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m733pqGxzsw

Poetry Break : “And where did the Cheering Section Go?”

You watch the news
and listen to the government public health information (aka Propaganda)
and there are encouraging voices from physicians, citizens and the media
about getting that vaccination
don’t you find it odd there are no dissenters?
or those that dissent on social media are taken down?
forced vaccinations by any other name
isn’t democracy and sovereignty of your body more than a public relations game?
but you can play the game of incessant harassing COVID testing
representing freedom of choice
remember thalidomide?
what happened to the cheering section for that drug?
five years from now when the fully vaccinated are wandering stupefied with Alzheimer’s
where will the happy people be that gave victory signs (prominently featured on your telescreen) after being vaccinated?

Robert k. Stephen

Surfing the Waves

The more the waves of COVID course the beaches of life
the more power and constraints placed on liberty
all in the name of public good
our elected representatives and their medical lackies turned into sharks
dismembering and attacking those who fail to tow the party line
vilified like the sharks that attack the surfers like the sharks they are?

Robert K. Stephen

Uyghur Muslims In China and Similarities to Canada!

Concentration camps under the mustard gas deception of re-education camps

Canada get ready for mandatory re-education camps for health care workers

Former front line medical “heroes” who refuse vaccination will be “re-educated”

Wasn’t “1984” by George Orwell right on point?

If the Chinese totalitarianism can be replicated in Canada
with a generous helping of Pol Pot Cambodia
why bother holding elections in Canada on September 20th
why not just throw the refuseniks in jail
or send them to Winnipeg to see the light
heroes now villains
the hypocrisy of the politico-medico elite reversing their propaganda
Doug Ford the new Pol Pot?
Who are the traitors to democracy?

Robert K. Stephen

“Reggie the Egyptian Rescue Dog” :Bosco The Arrogant Snob!

It was only a few days after arriving back from Los Angeles when the “Bosco Incident” occurred. Fay had a long Zoom meeting with a book publisher who was interested in discussing her planned book “Our Life With Dillie The Westie” and she required absolute quiet for the call. So Bob took Dillie The Westie and I for a walk at the Wilket Trail near Edwards Gardens, Toronto’s botanical gardens. It was a long walk and Dillie needed a few rests and was limping by the time we returned home. My poor brother has a bit of a problem with arthritis but being a brave trooper and too proud ever to admit to discomfort and pain he tries his best to act years younger than he is. The true spirit of a West Highland Terrier.

Well Fay greets us with a funny smile on her face and says that we have had an incident in the backyard. Bob pulls out his pistol a Glock and is ready for a shootout with the Brothers of Egypt. Not listening to Fay he rushes out to the backyard expecting to see his security detail shredded by a suicide bomber but almost trips over a dog on a leash! He laughs and says what has fate brought us this time!

It is a sad looking King Charles Cavalier that she found outside the gates of Drake’s house. We know Drake and ask his security detail if he can come out and talk with us. And he comes out with a few of his friends from a basketball team called the Toronto Raptors. I am not sure what basketball is but Drake loves it. We ask him if this is a dog he knows and he says no. But he asks us if we want to join him for a BBQ in his backyard that night and we say yes. He says don’t forget to bring Dillie and me. He suggests we check with Gordon Lightfoot next door but Lightfoot did not recognize the dog. He asks us to come over for high tea in a few days and gives us his telephone number.

The dog is a King Charles Cavalier I think or that’s what Bob says. He has no identification tags. One of his legs has been shaved for an intravenous feed as his hind leg has been shaved and there are stitches in it. Bob phones Toronto Animal Control and they have no record of a missing dog. It’s Labour Day so we will take it to Dr. Murray at the animal hospital on Tuesday to see if it has a microchip.

Bosco, as we call this dog, is about the same size as Dillie and I and initially he greets us with joy but when we approach his face for a sniff as all dogs do he emits a low growl. Bob and Fay are not appreciative of that. When Bob takes us for a walk he does that same growl to other dogs that come for a friendly sniff. We will have to wait to take him to Dr. Murray to see if he has a chip and we do so but he has none. A dog without any identity. Foolish owners unless this was an intentional abandonment. Bob leaves his number with Toronto Animal Control but there are no owners looking for this dog.

For the time being we call him Bosco. I give him a serious talking to as we dogs do and warn him to wise up or he will end up in an animal control shelter and based on my experience in Cairo my realism terrifies this little snobby dog thinking he was a purebred and that he was above me. He no longer acts as a King in the house and respects his junior position in the family. He is no Karim and I just can’t feel like we are the rat pack like it was with Karim but I say to Dillie lets give him some time and the wise Westie Dillie agrees.

Bob can’t bear to hand him over to a barren animal shelter a cruel and forbidding place. Bosco soon begins to realize how lucky he is and becomes humbler and more respectful. As far as I am concerned Dillie is the king in this family despite Bosco’s breed says he is a King Charles Cavalier. He is third place here and lucky to be that! He kind of stinks but Dr. Murray says wait a couple of weeks until he heals completely to give him a bath. At least his hair was not matted and covered with fleas like me in Cairo before I was rescued.

“Mutantism on The March” :Chapter 97 The Montreal Kidnapping of James Dentalfloss

On a cold winter morning Montrealer’s awoke to the startling news of the kidnapping of the Scottish Trade Commissioner, Mr. James Dentalfloss. He had been abducted by a group calling itself the Far-Out Liberation League of Quebec (FLQ). Previously this group had restricted itself to bombing mailboxes in the tony English suburb of Westmount but obviously with a kidnapping they were expanding their techniques of terrorism. The FLQ left messages with radio and television stations that Dentalfloss would only be released when all non-Quebecois in Quebec be deported an obviously far out demand. Their demand seemed like a mere political statement more than a genuine ransom demand.

The Jiber sat in his MSQ offices snickering. His men had done well. No clues were discovered by Montreal police, Quebec Provincial Police or the RCMP about the kidnapping. Here was the glorious opportunity he had been waiting for. By planning the kidnapping his goal was to polarize Quebec society forcing people to take sides. Traitors could then be identified. Now all he could hope for was to incite mobs to attack American factories and offices of American corporations in Quebec that were doing business in the province. Manufacture a rampage so that American enterprises were convinced they faced expropriation and nationalization. Then hope the Marines would be called in to protect American interests. His agreement with a very prominent American politician still stood. Sooner or later a conquering army would be his. The entire galaxy would be his.

The governing Quebec Liberal Party was flapping wildly in the wind to catch the “political criminals” responsible for the kidnapping. They had underestimated the resolve of the nationalists. Having to hunt down the radicals who represented what many Quebecers secretly espoused was a risky affair. The Liberals had started the ball rolling on a Francization programme steeped in petit bourgeoisie mysticism and heroism. Metro stations and streets were changed to Riel, Papineau, Cartier and Henri Bourassa but this token strategy failed to appease the flock. The Premier Bob Poorassa had a cabinet full of respectable gentlemen in league with both Canadian and American corporations hence they were infused with the spirit of national unity with many sitting on the boards of Canadian and American companies and hoping to continue that position if and when booted out of politics. They had large share positions in the companies they sat on the boards of and to acquiesce to the demands of rabid nationalists might threaten their little kitty. The Montreal Bourse had already plummeted!

The Quebec Minister of Justice Jerome Porkchopette and Premier Poorassa thundered about the need for law and order and for strict measure to hunt down the terrorists. A no bargain policy was established. The democratic strongmen must show the population they weren’t to be pressured by murderous communists. By God do not antagonize the Americans. Who wanted the Marines in town?

Jiber’s FLQ plants were encouraged to use Marxist language in their FLQ communiques as this would be a perfect frame up of the leftist nationalists and discredit the left. Jiber realized that his followers would support an independent Quebec but not a Marxist one. Jiber sat in an excellent position as he could criticize the ruling Liberal government for not being strict enough with these rebels and he warned the public of the dangers of these violent Marxist elements. In the midst of all this confusion Jiber as Hecklevesque would emerge as a saviour. He would lead the province out of the political quagmire. Once he had the province in is sweaty hands after a nice little coup he would arrange for the torching of a few American manufacturing concerns, assault a few American citizens then ask for American military intervention to quell the anti-American revolution!